Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks - Jalopnik Comments

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

LandofMinos,Top Gear Australia sucked, 2 out of 3 hosts MUST DIE — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 20:57:23 EDT

I seriously believe that one day the Aztek will be a cult car. It's just that ugly. People will like the 'kitsch' factor of driving a car so ridiculous.

LandofMinos,Top Gear Australia sucked, 2 out of 3 hosts MUST DIE

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

RocketScientist — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 01:07:55 EDT

the GM people I've met about this *thing* were surprised that it flopped. it looked so tough and 'cool' with the cladding.

RocketScientist

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

jammadave dislocated a rib. Ow. — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 22:28:11 EDT

@bzr - Pinko Commie Bastard Edition: Zing! Touche`, old man, tou-che`.

jammadave dislocated a rib. Ow.

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

bzr — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:41:16 EDT

@jammadave: See, now there's your problem. Anything is better when it replaces a 1996 Cavalier.

/cheap shot

bzr

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

carless bought another Mazda — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:30:00 EDT

@Evil-Jeremy: I can't imagine it. A quick search of Cardomain yielded nothing more than big rims, lowered suspension, and painted cladding. They go a long way to make it look different but it's still a train wreck. A la

Are you sure you don't just like Azteks?

carless bought another Mazda

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

jammadave dislocated a rib. Ow. — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 17:37:31 EDT

Oh, and the tent was lame. I skipped it. But I have noticed other companies offering similar tent-y acoutrements for their own SUVs in recent times....

jammadave dislocated a rib. Ow.

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

jammadave dislocated a rib. Ow. — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 17:36:41 EDT

I was an Aztek owner for a couple years (01-03). Saw it on TV when it first came out and said, out loud, to all in the room: "That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I must have one."

I didn't get the lime or the yellow, I got "pewter", GM's not quite gold, not quite silver color, to counteract the funky styling.

And you know what? Plenty of people thought it was cool; I thought it was very comfy, useful, way better than the '96 Cavalier it replaced.... I got more positive curiosity from strangers than anything else. The fact that it had a 6-disc indash and a heads-up display were seriously trick, to me, being in my early 20s at the time and not having had leather interior even or power windows before then.

I'll even go so far as to say when they restyled it - took off the black plastic, made the wheels larger, added the spoiler - it turned into a vehicle I actually thought, and still think, looks damn cool. Better than a Torrent anyday. Then again, I like weird cars I guess.

jammadave dislocated a rib. Ow.

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Murilee Martin — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:29:01 EDT

@philibuster: I say it is!

Murilee Martin

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

cardboardbelt — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:17:55 EDT

One guy in a focus group somewhere was like, "A tent! Cars need tents! I sleep in my car all the time, and I always wish part of it was nylon! Car-Tents are the future!"

cardboardbelt

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Blue387 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:59:33 EDT

@Blue387: Sorry, double post.

Blue387

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

DrivingPosition — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:56:12 EDT

Anybody else notice how fleeting actual views of the Aztek were in that commercial? It's like the director saw the thing and said, "Hmm...let's make it really small and, uh, put it in the corners behind some plants."

DrivingPosition

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

philibuster — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:55:07 EDT

Is a commercial from less than 8 years ago considered classic nowadays?

philibuster

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Evil-Jeremy — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:48:09 EDT

@dolo54:

Nope, it actually looked really good. It was the most shocking thing in history. Essentially the dude had softened all of the hard, angular lines, and had minimized or covered the worst parts of it with the body kit and spoiler. It was actually pretty well thought out, and I had serious respect for the dude who did that.

I saw it in the west end of Toronto, if anyone wants to back me up on this.

btw, thankyou very much for the link.

Evil-Jeremy

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Seth L — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:16:46 EDT

"If you say you like it, you can have pizza."

Seth L

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Mad_Science — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:14:29 EDT

@Elhigh: AOOTD!

(Astute Observation OTD)

Mad_Science

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Isetta — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 13:04:57 EDT

@Elhigh: ...and you have a cute chicky babe with you.

Isetta

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Elhigh — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:50:22 EDT

Note that the Pontiac Aztek is only fun when it is not in motion.

Elhigh

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

aircooled_poirot — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:39:56 EDT

I believe they copied the tent back from a similar accessory you could get with 1970's Renault LeCars.

aircooled_poirot

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

lascauxcaveman — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:28:22 EDT

@Mokers: That is simply not true! It's also useful as a rental car in Belize.

If I had one, I'd drive it straight to Jonestown, Guyana.

lascauxcaveman

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

bzr — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:25:00 EDT

I remember trying to get my dad to buy one of these things, so enamored I was at the time with the cooler center console and the Biking Package with its interior bike rack. And the tent! More cars need to be sold with tents.

Sadly, the paper bag-over-heads were merely dealer accessories and not standard equipment. But the amends I would have made to be able to fish out the back of my car, just like those oh-so-trendy young, hip, beautiful people...

bzr

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Blue387 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:24:50 EDT

Once, I was walking down Park Avenue and came across a lime-green Aztek.

I have been in therapy ever since.

Blue387

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Blue387 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:23:50 EDT

Once, I was walking down Park Avenue and came across a lime-green Aztek.

I have been in therapy ever since.

Blue387

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Mad_Science — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:19:53 EDT

@ddsurace: This issues with that vehicle go well beyond spelling complications.

I've been told one of the things that really torpedoed it was the decision to use a minivan platform. The concept was more like an H3 or Wrangler unlimited.

Mad_Science

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Draconis — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:14:25 EDT

"Are we swingers?"
"Definitely!"

Any time spent filming this ad probably would've been better spent swinging the swinging lifestyle with other swingers.

Draconis

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

ddsurace — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:07:32 EDT

The main problem with the Aztek is that GM couldn't get anyone to spell its name correctly.

Even now, you all watched the commercial, and a good 9/10ths of you are still calling it an Aztec.

ddsurace

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

POLAЯ — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:58:04 EDT

Now the only Aztek we have makes your ass bigger!!!

POLAЯ

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Capt. Mazda Sisko — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:52:22 EDT

years back on the now defunct WNEW Opie & Anthony tried to give one of these away in a contest, and no one wanted it.

Capt. Mazda Sisko

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

staircar — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:52:06 EDT

@smalleyxb122:

I think of the Aztec as more like GM's Poochie. Half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli.

staircar

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

P161911 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:47:14 EDT

Judging by this commerical looks like they should have made these amphibious too. Let's see you want to fish out of it, play around water falls and take it to the beach. Sounds like a sailboat.

P161911

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Mokers — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:46:19 EDT

@workingonyourinvoice: This is exactly what I thought. The ad calls the Aztek versatile, but apparently it's only useful if you need to rent a car on your vacation to Costa Rica.

Mokers

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

dolo54 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:44:53 EDT

@Evil-Jeremy: Was it this one?

seriously you got to check this out: [www.autocult.com.au]

dolo54

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Isetta — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:36:23 EDT

Believe it or not I actually know three people that own Azteks (shows you the kind of crowd I run with). They all love their vehicles despite the ribbing they get, especially from me.

Isetta

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Pete Gaines — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:36:16 EDT

Guh, just looked up Azteks on eBay to see what they're selling for these days...

The interiors of those things make the exteriors look nice. Pontiac at its giant-buttoned, plasticky worst.

Pete Gaines

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

SwapMeat — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:33:33 EDT

Ugly as folk

The Ad's so bad it's the only thing making the Aztec look good (however, totally rectified by airbrushing some monkeys down the side of a PM yellow edition).

I love the camping back too. 'Cept for the middle of the night when the gas struts in the rear hatch finally give way.

SwapMeat

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

OrangeBoss9 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:30:30 EDT

@Maymar: Horsepower, that's the gateway drug to PCH! Then you'd set off on the quest for "handling" followed by "braking" and who knows where that would end...

OrangeBoss9

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Evil-Jeremy — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:27:23 EDT

The other month I saw an Aztek that had been customized with a body kit, new grill, new headlights, and was dropped a few inches.

It looked gorgeous. I was one of the most impressive things I have ever seen. Anyone can tweek the look of a car that is good-looking, but only a true master can make a Pontiac Aztek attractive.

Although I do doubt that anybody believes me. For a couple of seconds I couldn't believe it myself.

Evil-Jeremy

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

layabout — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:26:53 EDT

Thats one girl that can't accused of being with a guy because of his car.

layabout

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Maymar the technophobe — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:25:30 EDT

@dolo54: I'd bank on it being the Pacer of the 21rst century.

Of course, the moment I bought one, I'd be trying to figure out how to swap out the stock engine for something a little less likely to leak coolant, and a little more likely to have something described as "horsepower."

Maymar the technophobe

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

POLAЯ — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:22:37 EDT

And so ended the young man's commercial career...

POLAЯ

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

JSmith53 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:22:13 EDT

These things are going to be highly collectible one day.

JSmith53

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

smalleyxb122 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:20:54 EDT

Focus group driven. Trying to be too many things to too many people in a profoundly ugly way.

Holy shit! It's the Homer.

smalleyxb122

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

mytdawg — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:18:02 EDT

At one point I knew about 5 people with these things. I don't see the attraction but they (mostly) loved them but I think we're down to about 3 now.

1 got a virus or something and the computer died. I think the dealership quoted him $1500 which sounds like crap to me. They said he couldn't use a used one because it had to be recalibrated and it would cost just as much. Still sounds like BS to me. He traded it in.

1 tried to tune his own up and ended up unbolting the engine and a bunch of other crap trying to get to the back plugs. I think he just got pissed and sold it.

mytdawg

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Ash78 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:16:47 EDT

The Aztek is the very definition of Camel Committee, I think. That's the best example I can think of.

Ash78

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

UDMan — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:14:12 EDT

The Aztek was a great idea, that was over worked in focus groups, and killed by inept execution.

UDMan

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

dolo54 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:12:24 EDT

I'm really starting to dig those things. They are so ugly, but really, really cool in a lot of ways. And stupid cheap, I might have to pick one up one day. Love the camper back.

dolo54

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Number_Six — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:12:04 EDT

Maybe they thought that because Swiss-Army knives have cladding, the Aztec should, too.

Number_Six

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Sloop_John_B — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:11:45 EDT

In this case, the general reminds of those people who are proponents of picking late round quarterbacks in the NFL draft because you might get the next Tom Brady. When in reality, 99% of the time you just end up with a Pontiac Aztec.

Sloop_John_B

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Sloop_John_B — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:08:37 EDT

You know...the Pontiac Aztec reminds of those guys who are proponents of picking late round quarterbacks in the NFL draft because you might get the next Tom Brady. 99% of the time, you're just going to end up with a Pontiac Aztec.

Sloop_John_B

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

workingonyourinvoice — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:07:35 EDT

Because everybody takes their Aztec on vacation to... whatever tropical paradise that is.

workingonyourinvoice

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

Pete Gaines — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:07:14 EDT

I thought the Aztek was a result of doing nothing but listening to the focus groups, with no thought to how all the various desired features would look together.

Pete Gaines

Gale Harold Tries, Fails To Sell Pontiac Azteks

beercheck — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:06:11 EDT

I might have to get me one of those things.

beercheck