How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar - Jalopnik Comments

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

pradster — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 04:36:49 EDT

[www.newcougar.org]

is it just me or did he photoshop the Cat logo and the red carpet?

pradster

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

superchargedc5 — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:30:19 EDT

looks like we crashed their sight the link is down

superchargedc5

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

ZX2.0 — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 09:18:58 EDT

@SSX:

Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear used to love new edge Cougars. Last I checked there's a video of him on youtube praising them to the sky...

ZX2.0

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

ritchj — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:31:47 EDT

That's a great addition to the JC Whitney special I've wanted to build - 1. Buy every piece of kuh-kuh-kustom stuff JC sells 2. Pre-pay storage fees on a self storage garage for 50 years (ala Silence of the Lambs) 3. Profit - all that retro stuff, that can only be found in dusty old catalogs - live and installed on a period correct GM? That shiznit would be all over the Barrett-Jackson 2059 auction.

ritchj

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

skulldriveshaft — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 23:48:11 EDT

Your virginity will remain intact until death, unless the grim reaper takes pity on you and repossesses your vehicle.

skulldriveshaft

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

muleshoe — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:21:44 EDT

Did his parents have any children that lived.

muleshoe

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

mwoeber — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 18:43:53 EDT

I don't understand, looks good to me.

mwoeber

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

nyoh-ohio — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:55:23 EDT

man when the stereo in my car broke a while back i just grabbed a stereo from my house and plugged it into an ac converter, this was for 2 weeks until i got a new one, i dont know why anyone would do that as a permanent installation, other than them being a moron who drives a cougar

nyoh-ohio

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Chris in KY — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:02:56 EDT

Next time.....clock radio speakers!!!

Chris in KY

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Pixel — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 16:00:23 EDT

[www.blert.net]

When I think class, I think cougar. Or, you know, no.

Pixel

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

bensenvill — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:32:11 EDT

@elwood:

we have a number of people over that number. its the same motor they use in the Nobles. Yes they can be quite potent cars. Personally I enjoy working on a car that has little aftermarket [or respect], just makes the final product all that more rewarding.

bensenvill

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

SuperCatBarf — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:47:57 EDT

I have a sneaking suspicion this is a hoax based on the picture of the trunk with the big cat logo.

SuperCatBarf

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

readplays — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:20:01 EDT

This whole thing- and i'm just going to go ahead and refer to this post, the link, and that board and OP as a Phenomenon- is stupefying.
At one point in the 11 pages, I was moved to propose that we Jalops launch a preemptive strike in an online commenting WAR with those Cougar people- just because. Because they have spirit, some of them are insane, they link to that ghetto site which is even more CrazyTown... something. They are a spirited bunch.
But maybe war (in this case) isn't the answer.
I'm still wrapping my brain around the genesis of this- some kid posts a video of himself on Youtube singing Numa Numa, and then grows up to be poor and 20. In Wisconsin. And he still NEEDS to hear the music. And so he does what any (and by any, I mean NO) other kid in his situation would do. Ever. Even on a dare. And somehow this whole Phenomenon comes cratering into our lives.
Maybe we need to adopt this kid.
Maybe we can show him the NSX photos. Spare him what many have pointed out as inevitable- his impending head trauma when that Sanford & Son diorama in the backseat breaks free.
I just don't know.
Stupefying.
I'm out of ammo here.
Numa Numa Wisconsin Kid, FTW!

readplays

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

al_beaton — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:11:28 EDT

"I got a degree in [writing software] and another in web design... ...and I'm 20."

DC Comics must be running those ads from Navassa University again...

al_beaton

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

OldeEnglishD — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:11:26 EDT

Please donate to the McLuvin fund so he can avoid having to own a really lame Cougar with 5.1 surround sound. You can make a difference........

OldeEnglishD

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

elwood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:02:43 EDT

@Jeb_Hoge: I'm no hater. If some guy managed to build up a 300-400hp Mercury Cougar, I'd be impressed (although the effort is arguably better spent on a more decent car to begin with). I'd certainly hate to get shamed at a stoplight by a Cougar.

elwood

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

elwood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:00:12 EDT

@Starlton Heston: Yeah, I'll be damned if I could remember the exact year, but any time someone brings up Pimp My Ride, I refer to that as the one decent car that show ever did.

elwood

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

banner77amc — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:58:25 EDT

Why not an older Merc Cougar, you know the one that you can buy for 1,000 pesos and still feel like you got a deal? Either way this like a Snarf instead of a Lion-O (ref. Thundercats)

banner77amc

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Novaload — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:46:25 EDT

@Murilee Martin: Back in the dark ages, a tape deck (and I mean 8-track not cassette)that was worth anything was wired to shelf speakers, the higher quality the better, and they just sat in the back seat like passengers. Very welcome passengers.
Ah, well, I'll crawl off to the tar pit now. There is nothing new under the sun.

Novaload

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Starlton Heston, Gushing post-mother — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:45:14 EDT

@elwood: 65 Impala to be exact, I fucking loved that espisode and it IS indeed the best car they ever did (short of my personal distaste for red) but just fuckign sweet seeing how goddamn spacious the engine bays are in the old cars!! (also gave birth to a fantasy of mine, of shoving one of those engines into the bay of a 65 Impala WAGON, OOOOHHHHHH YEA!!! (Tim the Toolman Taylor grunts)

Starlton Heston, Gushing post-mother

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

superchargedc5 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:38:50 EDT

@readplays: best part of that movie just before the car burst into flames ahh these scrathces should buff right out.

superchargedc5

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

superchargedc5 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:36:35 EDT

This is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. I just could not stop laughing at all the comments.

around pg 7 the owner replys to those telling him that he has a back seat full of lethal projectiles in the case of an accident

"OMG the speakers won't go flying for the same reason that the back seats don't go flying. They'er securely bolted down! Like I said, you can't see the reinforcement on the picture but it would take many thousands of pounds to break anything free. The satellites alone are secured up to 2400 pounds and they weigh like 8 altogether so I'd have to pull 300 G's for them to break free."

Priceless.

superchargedc5

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

smoke~ — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:30:27 EDT

He got his electrical engineering degree from the same place Al Gore got his science degree!

smoke~

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

eltonito — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:27:02 EDT

@morrisseyscoot: A pair of computer speakers is one thing, but a "Pete Townsend's Wall of Sound Starter Kit" made entirely of computer speakers is worthy of ridicule.

eltonito

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Jeb_Hoge — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:25:50 EDT

The shame of it is, a New Edge Cougar is a Contour with a different body, and is VERY modifiable with SVT hardware (for starters) and more. You can fairly easily replace the 2.5L Duratec with a 3L engine (some Contour/Cougar guys have seen 300-400hp from various setups, including turbos), install a limited-slip diff, and a variety of suspension setups, and end up with a very potent street racer. The fact that it's an old, mostly dead platform helps, too, since vehicle values are LOW and parts availability is still pretty high, especially getting those three-liter Duratecs.

This yahoo, however, clearly missed the memo.

Jeb_Hoge

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

eltonito — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:21:47 EDT

@jpech: It depends, will my wife find out?

(in case my wife reads this - I swear, I'm only kidding. I never hook up with someone who drives a Cougar... unless she was a Cougar, which might change things)

@SecretAZNMan: I sort of agree with you. The previous gen Cougar/Thunderchicken kinda fizzled big-time. Sure, you could get the 5.0 in the Elan edition of the T-Chicken, but still... twas really ugly.

eltonito

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

eltonito — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:16:44 EDT

@БЯд╒╒ ®: Voting for the Treble Chargers of America mascot ended up in a tie between a giant talking earplug whose speaking voice sounds like the first minute of "Headcleaner" by Einstürzende Neubauten and a screaming marmoset with bleeding ears.

eltonito

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

robb9 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:15:14 EDT

I bet that dude has some tiiiiiieeeeeght treble.

robb9

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

morrisseyscoot — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:14:34 EDT

No hating : I've got computer speakers in my VW Bus.

morrisseyscoot

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Hyman Decent — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:11:40 EDT

He still did a better job than those tools at Circuit City did with that one Honda Civic.

Hyman Decent

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Benito — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:11:33 EDT

@clinto:

And if the Tempo/Topaz forum doesn't scar you for life, here's one for my loving daily driver, the Beretta!

[www.bstuff.com]

Benito

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Murilee Martin — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:08:01 EDT

I've used thrift-store 70s particle-board home-stereo speakers bungee-corded into the back seat (and fed by a tape deck duct-taped under the dash) before, but only as a "field expedient" emergency sound system for a newly-obtained beater.

Murilee Martin

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Fitty7lax — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:06:40 EDT

I bet this car doesn't just cock block him, but it cock blocks any guy within a 2 mile radius of this thing.

Fitty7lax

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

jpech — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:59:21 EDT

@Benito: Are you sitting in a car?

jpech

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

jpech — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:58:28 EDT

@smalleyxb122: As I was reading these comment about how this dude isn't smart enough to procreate I was struck by a strange thought.

What if the dude that did this isn't a dude, what if it's a chick?

Would you hit that?

jpech

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

graverobber- Same great taste, new low price! — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:56:40 EDT

Man, that guy really put his Wallmart employee discount to work for him.

graverobber- Same great taste, new low price!

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

readplays — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:56:25 EDT

@wookie1901: actually I was trying to find the rest of the quote from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles- something to the effect of;
State Trooper: So you have no functioning gauges, whatsoever?
Del: No sir, not a one.
State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for interstate travel?
Del: Yes, yes officer, I do. I know it's not much to look at, but it'll get you where you're going!
State Trooper: This vehicle will be impounded until such time that it can be made safe for highway travel.
Del: Ahhh

or words to that effect.

readplays

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Benito — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:55:13 EDT

Those aren't even (all) home theater speakers, (some) are PC speakers. I have a set next to me, honest to god.

Benito

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

SecretAZNMan — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:51:45 EDT

Ok, so this person has some serious taste and logic issues. Done. Chalk it up to genetics or society.

But come on, give the latest Cougar some credit. It marked the beginning of Ford's edge design which promptly died with the Focus. This design theme was unique and stylish, something the current Dave isn't. The Cougar also had a small displacement V6 as an option under the hood too.

Just because it wasn't a muscle bound V8 like its predecessors, doesn't make it bad. Now it was a bit over weight and under sprung, but the right ingredients were there.

SecretAZNMan

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

stuntpuppy — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:47:48 EDT

@SSX: A Tempo/Topaz forum. I never would have believed it. We need Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to tape a segment at one of their monthly meetings.

stuntpuppy

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

damnElantra — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:47:24 EDT

he he he, topaz.

damnElantra

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

wookie1901 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:45:03 EDT

@readplays: Funny you should bring up the cops. If he was speeding, (the only way he could tell was if he say blue lights in the rear view mirror, he did have one of those.) he would just turn off his lights and drive into the desert.

wookie1901

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

wookie1901 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:42:25 EDT

@eltonito: Don't give up your dreams so easily.

wookie1901

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

FatBraff — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:33:37 EDT

@elwood:
@reefer:

There is a Ford Festiva in my neighborhood that was on the show...

[www.mtv.com]

It is RIDICULOUS... and the owner delivers pizza for the place around the corner from my house. It is right next to me dry cleaners, I will get pics...

The driver is pretty hot.

FatBraff

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

elwood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:31:39 EDT

@SSX: I saw that guys SHOpaz project once upon a time too. Do you know if he ever actually finished it? Because it seemed like one of those perpetual, "still working on it" things.

elwood

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

FatBraff — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:30:27 EDT

@eltonito: no, you would get people coming up saying how they think the car audio movement is tilting towards less bass and more treble... you would be their mascot.

FatBraff

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

elwood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:29:02 EDT

@reefer: There was one Pimp My Ride (with Ahnold) where they took a busted-ass late 60's Impala and put in a Banks-tuned Duramax diesel. The interior was also fairly tastefully done, and the trunk wasn't rediculous either. That was the one single Pimp My Ride car that I thought was actually decent.

@eltonito: That car would have been nothing without the window banner. With it, I would have laughed my ass off. Right before shooting you.

elwood

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Evil-Jeremy — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:28:08 EDT

Ooookay.

This dude needs some help in a big way.

In one of my older cars, I was quite restricted in my funds for a stereo system which was bad considering all of my speakers were blown and the head unit was on its last legs. You need to get down to an electronics surplus store (for those in Toronto, I use active surplus) and sort through the loose speakers until you get enough to fit your car. Then you go to future shop or any big box store like that and shop for a returned tape deck. I got a very nice unit for under $50 (JVC, sounded awesome.) Then run your ipod through the auxilliary input. The total cost was under $100, and I'm sure would be cheaper than that computer rig.

Also, seat covers should be custom fitted. The $20 set from Canadian Tire sucks, and looks exactly like a $20 set from Canadian Tire. If you're worried about your seats, I sewed myself some covers out of the cheapest towels in Walmart and use them on those days where people are muddy/camping/wet and sandy from the beach. But don't drive around with them, seat covers always look like crap, and make people think that there is multiple, horrible stains on the seat beneath them.

But seriously, if you need to learn about car audio, go down to any independent car audio store at a time when they're slow and ask questions. They will explain things to you and prevent you from looking stupid. There are also a lot of books, including a Haynes manual on the subject. The basic rule of life, is research it, then do it. Don't just do it.

Evil-Jeremy

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

readplays — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:26:24 EDT

@wookie1901:
State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.

readplays

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

eltonito — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:21:23 EDT

Wow, this is almost as ill-concieved as the anti-show car I fantasized about many, many years ago. I was going to take a slammed Suburban and toss a few amps in there and fill it up with hundreds of dome tweeters, no woofers and no mids.

The obligatory window tint banner was going to read "HERE COMES TREBLE!" It would've been brilliant and I probably would've gotten shot.

eltonito

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

staaave — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:20:11 EDT

@rlj676: Ooohhhoho. I thought afterwards when he said "they were in a horrible place to begin with" he was talking about mercury cougars. My bad.

staaave

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

reefer — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:16:06 EDT

bahahaha!

"And come on, a hydraulic lifting gate thingy all decked out in cougar colors with storage wouldn't look cool? I mean come on, this is a Pimp My Ride kind of mod"

*Warning* Please kids... do not use Pimp My Ride as a guide on how to mod your car.

reefer

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

danms6 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:13:39 EDT

By far the greatest reply is his last one on page 11 explaining the patented tweeter technology which guarantees it sounds better than any other car setup.

danms6

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

loyter — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:10:56 EDT

I like it. I'm hiring this guy to be the audio guy for Jalopolet. (our new, niche-market, Jalopnik inspired, domestic automotive manufacturing plant.)

loyter

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Elhigh — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:10:13 EDT

Your speaks, they are the awesome.

Pay no attention to the haterz, they are teh suck. U rok so hard, d00d, no shtz.

Neon adds so much cool to the Topaz, bolt on a few more!

Elhigh

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

SSX — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:09:35 EDT

@SSX: Link: [www.tempotopaz.com]

SSX

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

DoggieDaddy — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:08:18 EDT

Aww cc'mon, he just has the wrong car. They would look great in this.

[www.hubcapcafe.com]

DoggieDaddy

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

SSX — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:07:59 EDT

@clinto: I have as well. Some nut on there put, not one, but two SHO engines in one for the most baddass twin mill AWD Tempo ever (and probably one of the few I would actually want to drive)

SSX

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

wookie1901 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:03:57 EDT

I know two people whose car audio system consisted of a boombox in the back seat at some point in their driving career.

My girlfriend had a Skylark in college. She ran over some horrendous pothole and the entire dash basically disintegrated. The factory stereo spent the rest of its pathetic life in the trunk, replaced by an one speaker Sony radio. The Buick is long gone, but we still have the radio.

I worked a summer job in New Mexico with a guy who drove a CJ7. Earlier that summer, before I met him, he had rolled the jeep and destroyed everything in the dash. So in addition to not having a radio, he also lacked a speedometer and fuel gauge, but he did have a functioning voltmeter and oil pressure and temperature gauge. A 5 gallon gas can lived in the back with the boombox. I am not entirely sure why he bothered with the boombox, because the Jeep with its 32" tires, barn-like aerodynamics, and flappy plastics doors and roof was too loud to listen to anything, not to mention the 302 (I think) V8 with sidepipes.

wookie1901

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

clinto — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:03:12 EDT

@racerx: Believe it or not, it gets worse. There are Ford Tempo/Mercury Topaz forums out there.

I have seen them.

clinto

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Bentos, Der Frischmacher! — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:01:59 EDT

Hey, I'm going to Comic-Con in a few months, I'll just find this guy in the Gamers room and ask if I can take some pictures of his hot Cougar.....Has he ever taken it off of some sweet jumps????

Bentos, Der Frischmacher!

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

facingtraffic — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:01:52 EDT

@facingtraffic: There are supposed to be quotes around that first sentence, you bumbling idiot.

facingtraffic

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

SSX — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:01:46 EDT

The New Edge Cougars are the red headed stepchild in the Cougar family. We older Cougar owners put him in a corner with some crayons and hope nobody sees him since all of his owners are either women or men with no taste. Just buying one is clear they have no taste, so how can modifications to one done by its owner be any better?

SSX

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

facingtraffic — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:00:17 EDT

@ganzhimself: Oh cmon. Those satellite speakers are more like mids, they have trouble getting down to anything below like 50Hz. And if you look at that graphic EQ pic, it looks like he rolled off anything under 1kHz, which would produce one tinny, honky-ass sound unless compensated for somewhere else. Like in his brass balls for even taking pictures of this stuff, let alone posting them to a forum

facingtraffic

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Hoser Dave — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:53:35 EDT

He did this to display his anger because Brett Favre retired.

Hoser Dave

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

racerx — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:53:14 EDT

As fucked up as this car is I am even more in shock that there exists a forum about the newest gen Cougars. Dear lord that's horrifying.

racerx

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Hoser Dave — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:52:02 EDT

With all that haggard wiring throughout, I can smell the Car-B-Que a frying already!
Bitchin' DiscMan too! A $60 headunit was out of his budget. I guess Discmans provide superior sound quality as they skip every Fitty Cent CD you throw at them.
....you can find me in tha club.....dan nan....dun dun....dun dun....

Hoser Dave

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Lobo1625 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:50:58 EDT

Looks like the result of a Smash 'n grab at a computer store, two DIFFERENT sets of Logitech computer speakers and computer accent lights stuck on the car. He did manage to keep one of the wired controls for the system though.. and the Nuclear symbol on the CD player is a nice touch Bet someone got a good deal on the Arm rest he took off for his... what is that.. Mixer control?

Lobo1625

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

lascauxcaveman — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:46:05 EDT

@LUV_TRUK: YAH HE CALLED THOSE NOOBS MADISON DEMOCRATS HE PWNDED THEM HE RULZ

lascauxcaveman

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

moneyfink — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:43:46 EDT

Why not use Home speakers in a car
from a car computing forum
[www.mp3car.com]

moneyfink

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

cyclopticgaze — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:40:33 EDT

This guy needs to stick to modifying his computer case.

cyclopticgaze

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

ganzhimself — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:40:25 EDT

Oh, I almost forgot... To be fair, in my first car, a 1983 Chrysler New Yorker, the stereo didn't work. So, I had a ghetto Discman and some battery powered speakers. It did the trick. At least the robot voice that told me "All monitored systems are functioning" worked.

ganzhimself

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

ganzhimself — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:35:05 EDT

I have that Logitech 5.1 "surround" system for my computer, which I bought on sale at Best Buy for less than $50. They sound like complete ass... But he did learn sound engineering by working on a sound system at his church, so he must know sound.

ganzhimself

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

macecalrissian — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:34:23 EDT

stunt puppy- I think the question was aimed at finding out if this genius was a Sultan from some oil-rich country. I mean c'mon, who else can afford or even dare to dream of such a fantastic mod?

macecalrissian

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

LUV_TRUK — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:33:33 EDT

I can't believe he called his critics "Madison Democrats" because my first thought upon seeing the speakers in the back seat was "this guy must be from Wisconsin." When I was a teen in the Chicago suburbs I frequently saw Wisconsin cars with home speakers in the back seat. My friends and I thought of it as a Wisconsin thing.

In Indiana it was different. I knew a guy that had a car stereo in his bedroom hooked up to a car battery. Seriously, a car battery just sitting on the floor with a (probably stolen) Jensen tape deck hooked up to some 6X9s.

LUV_TRUK

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

muleshoe — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:31:27 EDT

That is as FUCKED UP as a SOUP SANDWICH

muleshoe

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

NICKNICK — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:27:35 EDT

I hope you're actually reading the thread and not just looking at photos. Some highlights:

"I'm gonna put a custom built spin up storage area for airsoft ammo and guns and equipment"

"Who doesn't want a home theater in their car?"

"They stand out so much it looks like they're not even stock!"

The prosecution rests.

NICKNICK

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

P161911 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:27:01 EDT

@Mike the Dog: My mistake, I completely forgot about THAT generation. The Munstang II of Cougars. There was a guy at the last place I worked that had one of those. He was 40+, single, super neat freak, and a HUGE Disney fan. The car fit him.

P161911

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

crazygutgut — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:21:12 EDT

thats awesome, in my day the only people who had home speakers in their car, couldnt afford reaaly nice equipment, the the speakers were usually hooked up to a stock radio or some 29.99 deal from radio shack. This guy spent money on a 5.1 surround sound speaker set for his CAR!!! thats like 5.1 types of riduclous!! of course I would throw him props if he had gone 7.1.

crazygutgut

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

MWH1 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:19:11 EDT

Wow. When I was 17, broke and desperate to have a CD player in my Mom's '83 corolla wagon, I bought a pair of Coby computer seakers and "mounted" (read: velcroed)them on the carpet under the dash in front of the gear shift, and then velcroed my CD player to the wall below. Sir, I salute you for taking a high school kid's dream to the max.

MWH1

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

blue-coupe — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:18:02 EDT

I think he's talking about the factory speakers being below your ears, closer to the engine. His superior setup is better satisfying his audiophile needs.

blue-coupe

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

NICKNICK — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:16:48 EDT

@smalleyxb122: well, at least we know he won't be making any babies in the back seat.

NICKNICK

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Feds — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:14:06 EDT

Sorry guys, stupid stereo is fully compensated for by the T-cats logo in the trunk.

This car is Awesome.

Feds

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Mike the Dog — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:12:57 EDT

@P161911: This Cougar, however is of the 4-cylinder, front wheel drive variety. Craptastic!

Mike the Dog

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

layabout — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:12:44 EDT

Never drink & drive,never smoke & modify those are the rules

layabout

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Preferredcustomer — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:12:41 EDT

@eldo500: Uh, that's just weird. Stop stealing my personal history with slight modifications.

Preferredcustomer

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

clinto — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:11:59 EDT

"All aboard the failboat" - spectacular.

This is not quite as good as the direct diesel injection from a few months, but still quite good. I started laughing so hard I had to shut my office door so my coworkers wouldn't think I was high.

clinto

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

stuntpuppy — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:11:42 EDT

I particularly like one of the opening comments to the effect of "where are you from - that might help explain this." As if idiots don't grow equally well in all climates.

stuntpuppy

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Preferredcustomer — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:11:16 EDT

Love the dragon seat covers. Like real dragons would go anywhere near this car. Might be able to get some cougars, though, if the owner is young enough.

Still, it reminds me of the Marantz home speakers I used to occasionally rig into the backseat of my GTI in high school. Perhaps I should not throw stones.

Preferredcustomer

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

FatBraff — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:10:52 EDT

@P161911: I believe the site is dedicated to the most recent generation of Cougars... AKA Bitch Kittys

FatBraff

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

P161911 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:09:38 EDT

The Cougar isn't a bad car it scores in the low 100's on the Jalop scale, assuming an XR-7 V-8. I'm sure this idiot's is a V-6. What was once a decent car, RWD, IRS, available V-8, available but rare supercharged V-6 and manual transmission, has been reduced to a joke because of the fools that are buying them.

P161911

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Maxichamp — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:07:49 EDT

Hey, at least the kid's got heart.

Maxichamp

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

rlj676 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:07:49 EDT

I wonder who the 30 or so guests (and growing) are reading that thread?

There are some dudes with garrish looking cars insulting this thing as cheap looking. awesome.

rlj676

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

JantheMan — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:07:47 EDT

Why didn't anyone stop him?

This is a kid with way to much time in front of his computer..Playing warcraft an suddenly realise....This would be cool in your car.....but for playing music instead..that would be cool.

Has anyone told him that car audio is a thing u can buy at a store?

JantheMan

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

FatBraff — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:06:54 EDT

@Nayrlladnar: A hot cocktail watress, at a nightclub I worked at, drove one... I think that should be the only person really allowed to do so. A hot chick who doesnt have lots of money...

Now, give me the previous generation and I would drive that. In fact, my father drove a 97(?) that had the V8 up front and drive wheels in the back... great fun on the east coast for a young man who just got his license...

FatBraff

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

eldo500 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:06:45 EDT

I had a pair of 3 foot tall Panasonic Thrusters in the back seat of my Super Beetle in high school, so I can't really talk too much shit about this guy.

eldo500

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Vipper Of Vipp — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:06:25 EDT

Needs more dash skull.

Vipper Of Vipp

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Nayrlladnar — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:02:53 EDT

My best buddy from high school and college has a 99 Cougar. The only positive thing I can say about the car is that whatever fabric the seats are made with does an excellent job of not absorbing the smell of pot smoke.

Nayrlladnar

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

FatBraff — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:02:44 EDT

@smalleyxb122: i would like to believe that, but I believe this is the type of person who has the ability to procreate by merely nuzzling the leg of his acid-washed Wrangles jeans against any female of proper birthing age, and HUZZAH... a baby is "dun borned"...

FatBraff

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

logruszed — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:02:42 EDT

I used to have a neighbor named Leon who owned a Ford Escort 3-Door with three mismatched panels (FR 1/4 panel, R door, RL 1/4 panel). About twice a month he would go buy one of those $19.95 speaker/woofer boxes from Napa auto parts and wire it in to his existing stereo.

Eventually he had filled the entire hatch with about 8-12 of these pieces of shit plus a bunch of cheap or stolen amps.

Same guy also hot glues an American flag to his hood after 9/11. The flag was larger than the hood, so he tucked a bunch into the engine compartment.

Leon was a nice guy, but also a complete fucking retard.

The end.

logruszed

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

elwood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:02:36 EDT

@smalleyxb122: Even if he knows where to put it, he's got to find a willing accomplice.

elwood

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

layabout — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:02:32 EDT

If the guy the fucked with this Cougar fell in a bucket of nipples,he'd come out sucking his thumb. What a dumbass.

layabout

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

rlj676 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:01:36 EDT

@staaave:

I believe he's referring to the stock location of the speakers not being ideal for stereo reproduction.

However, I've never heard of a wall of speakers from BEHIND being a better solution for stereo sound.

rlj676

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:01:12 EDT

You gotta admit, though, the Thundercats logo in the trunk is awesome.

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

FatBraff — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:01:02 EDT

@stuntpuppy: it consumes a lot of time... and brain power to make it through.

I particularly enjoyed when one of the moderators wrote "play nice" in regards to everyone getting ready to slam this kid... then someone replied "i kind of like this part of your mods", to which the moderator replied "well, you don't have to lie..."

truly scrumtrulescent... This thread deserves a full James Lipton treatment

FatBraff

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

smalleyxb122 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:59:46 EDT

If it's done with a sense of irony, it's cool.

Sadly, I'm not getting the impression that it was done with any intended humor.

At least we can take comfort in knowing that anyone who would do this to a car certainly lacks the skills to procreate.

smalleyxb122

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

stuntpuppy — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:58:29 EDT

This may be the thread I've been waiting for all week. Hold on, I'm going to get some popcorn...

stuntpuppy

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

staaave — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:56:30 EDT

"But seriously, you all own cougars, as if being 3 feet below your ears, nearer to the engine, with the insane amount of road noise you get makes them sound like anything."

I'm not really sure what that means. I've read it about 12 or 13 times and I can't gather anything from it, but I think he's trying to say that cougars are not good cars, in which case I still have respect for this man.

staaave

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

layabout — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:55:03 EDT

WHAT A COMPLETE TIT!!!!!

layabout

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

oldskoolparts — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:54:51 EDT

god how this reminds me of the days when we took 2 6x9 sparkomatic dual cone speakers and set them on the rear deck and let the magnet hold them there until when braking the 5000lb 74 chevy impala launched the above said mentioned 6 pound speakers forward into the windshield...awesome

oldskoolparts

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

FatBraff — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:54:34 EDT

The best part of that whole thread... is that they are all Cougar owners looking down on another Cougar owner.

I bet they hold their get-togethers at Applebees because TGIFridays is too expensive...

FatBraff

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

elwood — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:53:20 EDT

HUH-larious. There's stupid people everywhere, even driving Mercury Cougars.

elwood

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

sos10 — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:53:13 EDT

I think it's charming. I'm in Istanbul at the moment.. and I've seen cars like that driving around.. albeit not Cougars but Murat (Fiat) 124's.

sos10

How Not To Modify Your Mercury Cougar

Rick Astley — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 10:51:35 EDT

Hooooooooooooooo!

Rick Astley