Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars - Jalopnik Comments

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

milo_carrera--now with Corrected Politicality — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:05:23 EDT

@badco/LoJ: As a software engineer, I agree completely...when I'm not sitting in front of my record player watching the disc go round and round.

milo_carrera--now with Corrected Politicality

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:22:00 EDT

Hell, prostitution was pretty much legal in Galveston until 1950. There were even articles in the paper about how it would ruin the economy if they closed all the organized houses of ill repute down. Texas loves shady women. Just do a google on 'The Chicken Ranch'.

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

mikedrawcar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 19:40:17 EDT

@racerx: well, chronic.com was taken by Snoop Dogg

mikedrawcar

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Schm, lord of Torques! — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:41:49 EDT

Eagerly awaiting the confrentation on next weeks "Springer!!"

Schm, lord of Torques!

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

supra89t — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:21:10 EDT

@KaiserM715: w3rd

@PatriotsRiot: Austin, actually. But it's funny to watch those from Houston and Dallas argue about which city is worse...

supra89t

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

PatriotsRiot — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:46:38 EDT

@supra89t:

You MUST be from Dallas....the A55hole between Houston and Oklahoma...

PatriotsRiot

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Solo_Racer — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:29:47 EDT

@layabout: You look at their faces?

Solo_Racer

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

M0L0TOV — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:18:21 EDT

@Hoser Dave:
Yeah, that's all I could think of too. What was an autistic woman doing in a strip club?

M0L0TOV

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

z974647 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:14:10 EDT

Wahl I'll be danged if'n it ain't my sister, Betty Jean! A cuple of yeers ago, we dun wint an gotz hitched coz she wuz wif my child.
She maid a perty gud wife fer a week or too. Then my danged mom wint n tuk her down yonder to texis and traderd her to that fancie dancin bar rite 'ere next to ant deena's trailer fer a cuple of six I wuz madder then a wet hen at 'er for that, I kin tell yew fer shore. But when muther dun got back home hear in okluhomma, we made up and gotz hitched a lil' while latir. We'z happier 'n too pigz in mud now.

z974647

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

smokeydog001 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:16:04 EDT

Houston Crimestoppers

smokeydog001

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

workingonyourinvoice — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:10:11 EDT

@KaiserM715: That's because none of us are Texans. We're either from up north, or down south.

workingonyourinvoice

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

MZЯ — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:55:08 EDT

@loyter: Awesome..COTD

MZЯ

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

MZЯ — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:52:44 EDT

probation for narcotics... I thought they already said that she was a stripper. Aren't those words synonymous.

MZЯ

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Corvette_Thunder — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:50:32 EDT

Whats the deal with Broke chicks and expensive BMW's? Remember the woman who used disability to pay for a 650i? Shit, why didn't she just look around for a nice, used C4?

Corvette_Thunder

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

mytdawg — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:46:10 EDT

I'd hit it too, with a stolen car.

mytdawg

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

KaiserM715 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:43:15 EDT

@supra89t: I second that vote. Houston is the most un-Texas place in Texas.

KaiserM715

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

smalleyxb122 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:34:49 EDT

@layabout: Day shift doesn't pay well enough down at the titty bar.

She might not take the blue ribbon at the fair, but as far as strippers go, she's at least in the top 25%. (or would be if not for the neck tattoo)

smalleyxb122

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Mysterious Utility Bento — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:18:33 EDT

The Tattoo on her neck says "Did you take your Valtrex today?" just to remind herself

Mysterious Utility Bento

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Mysterious Utility Bento — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:17:11 EDT

I don't care how sleezy they are...its a blonde 28 year old woman, so the BMW HAS to be a 3 series convertible!

Mysterious Utility Bento

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Mike the Dog — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:00:35 EDT

@CEman: It's in the original piece to make the victim look more pathetic, and the (alleged) perp like more of a douche.

Mike the Dog

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

LuciferV8 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:54:38 EDT

"but we're sure they have a couple ideas on where she might be"

street corner,
crack dealer boyfriend's house,
Elliot Spitzer's place,
etc.

LuciferV8

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

layabout — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:37:10 EDT

7 beers,it takes 7 beers to make her fuck worthy,i'm not paying though.

layabout

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

prndl — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:23:45 EDT

In article (Autistic women in her 20's and legal guardian are from Wisconsin as is the Miss Oberley) my reflect a little different for Houston, but not the dealer who is now "under investigation" I can say El Peso is much nicer, did you see what I did there.

prndl

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

JoSCh — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:22:25 EDT

Meh, I'd still hit it.

JoSCh

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Turboner — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:21:26 EDT

@workingonyourinvoice: I bet Portland, OR has you beat in strip clubs per capita.

Turboner

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Turboner — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:20:31 EDT

@no_slushbox: COTD :)

Turboner

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

workingonyourinvoice — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:18:10 EDT

@skyln95: I was going to argue with you. But then I looked out the window at the four strip clubs within 4 blocks of my house (in houston).

workingonyourinvoice

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

NovaloadMissesPolar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:13:01 EDT

Nothing says "class" like a really dark and large neck tattoo that won't be hidden by anything you wear unless it's a "Mort" turtleneck from Bazooka Joe Comics.

NovaloadMissesPolar

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

layabout — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:03:22 EDT

Women Driving,still cant get my head around that one.

layabout

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

StuPidaso — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:59:40 EDT

either way that mugshot is aiming too high.

StuPidaso

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

skyln95 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:55:39 EDT

@elwood: texas is a very classy state. houston is NOT a classy city. just ask any texan that's not from houston about houston. in fact, ask half the people from houston, and theyll tell you they are there just because they can make more money. texas is a big class, and has alot of class. it's just that the state's largest city happens to be in the armpit. think...austin. when it comes to this. stripper, houstonian, neck tattoo. what else is there to say. at least they mark themselves nowadays.

skyln95

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

CEman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:50:38 EDT

@StuPidaso: Not true. All you need is the ability to pay. And even that is pretty weak now. Look at all the college students who get in over they're heads with credit card debt. Look at all the who bought house costing WAY MORE than they could pay. It used to be that you need a history to get credit. Not any more. Also, as I posted ealier, she could be from a wealthy family. I went to high school with wealthy kids who had credit cards.

CEman

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Stuntdriver — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:39:43 EDT

@htrodblder:

big lol!!!!! (aplause)

Stuntdriver

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

badco/LoJ — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:37:27 EDT

@StuPidaso: The criteria used to diagnose autism are far more inclusive than they used to be. Kids that were once labeled as LD or Asperger's are now diagnosed as autistic (thus the "epidemic").

She was probably just a software engineer or something.

badco/LoJ

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

htrodblder — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:37:24 EDT

Stacy, Stacy, Stacy, where did we go wrong? Me and your pa always tried to give you the nicest trailer to live in. We always bought you Kraft macaroni and cheese instead of the cheap stuff. We even found you that Barbie Corvette at the flea market that never worked, but your pa always pushed you around the front yard in it. I just dont understand how my sweet baby could have gotten caught. Didnt we teach you to be careful around them retarted folks?

htrodblder

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Uncle Bo, averting foreclosure — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:35:50 EDT

@loyter:

This place needs more drug trafficking stripper haikus. Well done.

Uncle Bo, averting foreclosure

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Hoser Dave — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:35:05 EDT

My question is, what was an autistic woman doing in a strip club champagne room? And why did she have Marie give her a lap dance?

Hoser Dave

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

layabout — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:28:06 EDT

It's no real shock she did this,she couldn't have made much money stripping,i'd rather pay to look at road kill than see that dog strip.

layabout

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

loyter — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:27:14 EDT

New Maserati
A dancer's life, terrific
Until the cops came

loyter

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Stuntdriver — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:27:03 EDT

she sucks at nacotics trafficking, she sucks as an ilegal car buyer...
and as a striper.... (cough cough)

if...get rid of this ugly tatoo, and the "classy habbits"... she can get a modeling carrer in a sudamerican country...

otherwise she looks like
"narco-prostitute barbie"...

Stuntdriver

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

OldeEnglishD misses Polar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:27:03 EDT

@StuPidaso: Liar! Everyone knows white trash eats Kraft Easy-Mac.

OldeEnglishD misses Polar

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Elhigh — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:25:09 EDT

She bears more than a passing resemblance to Tonya Harding.

Is this a new career for our kneecapping hero? Stay tuned!

Elhigh

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

StuPidaso — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:24:23 EDT

in order to build credit you must be fluent with purchasing and paying off debt. depending on the level of autism the woman has i'm making a stereotypical generalization that the woman who's identity was stolen would not have the credit to purchase said vehicles. also, when purchasing a vehicle your debt-to-income ratio is evaluated and i'm also making the generalization that the autistic woman's income is not so high as to afford a maserati and bimmer. now keep in mind i'm a white trash, velvetta-eater that only wears wife beaters and shorts disguised as pants/gauchos.

StuPidaso

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

cyclopticgaze — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:24:08 EDT

In the TV movie adaptation of her story, she will be played by Jamie Presley.

cyclopticgaze

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

OldeEnglishD misses Polar — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:23:39 EDT

C'mon guys, give her a break. She got into stripping, trafficing drugs, and identity theft just so she could put herself through college!

OldeEnglishD misses Polar

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:21:42 EDT

*autistic woman* Wal Mart SUCKS! And so does Stacey with the middle name Marie. Yeah, Stacey sucks alright, yeah.

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

econobiker — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:19:06 EDT

Yet another car dealership just giving away cars on the basis of the flimsiest id and credit history...

econobiker

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

CEman — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:18:38 EDT

@StuPidaso: What exactly does autism have to do with credit worthyness? Perhaps she comes from a wealthy family. Not even sure why that was part of the original new story actually...

CEman

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

deckard97 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:14:08 EDT

It's 3 AM, do you know where your wallet is? It better not be with Stacy Marie.

deckard97

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

htrodblder — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:10:09 EDT

I can just see the interrogation in the police station.
"Uh Miss Oberley, I see here that you stole the identity of this poor woman and bought yourself some new cars."
Miss Oberley's response.
"Was that wrong?" "I mean I gotta plead the 5th on this one because nobody every told me I couldn't do that"

htrodblder

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

STR8SIX — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:07:40 EDT

Miss Stacey Marie will probably avoid jail time by agreeing to appear on season 3 of Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.

STR8SIX

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

Number_Six — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:07:23 EDT

Good gravy Marie.

Number_Six

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

no_slushbox — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:05:17 EDT

You're not supposed to steal autistic people's identities; you're supposed to take them to Vegas to play blackjack.

no_slushbox

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

supra89t — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:03:18 EDT

@elwood: Houston doesn't count as part of Texas. When we took all that land from Mexico, they gave us the finger when we asked if they wanted to keep Houston.

supra89t

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

racerx — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:02:18 EDT

I truly love that the Houston Chronicle's website URL is chron.com.

racerx

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:57:18 EDT

@StuPidaso: She probably just drives them in the driveway.

The Name's Ash78, Housewares

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

BLS — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:55:09 EDT

Wait my wife has a neck tattoo and the middle name 'Marie'...

BLS

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

StuPidaso — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:54:42 EDT

not trying to be rude, but how does an autistic woman have the credit to gain access to a bimmer and maserati?

StuPidaso

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:52:55 EDT

That tattoo has a moon and a rabbit, so clearly she is wanted back at some ranch in Pahrump, Nevada.

The Name's Ash78, Housewares

Houston Stripper Steals Identity, Buys Cars

elwood — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 09:52:37 EDT

Texas sure is a classy state, huh.

elwood