And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen... - Jalopnik Comments

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

FuzzyPlushroom — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:10:50 EDT

@busbodger: Mmmm, crayon scent!

FuzzyPlushroom

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

joeaverage — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:59:11 EDT

Hey now - I've got a white 1997 VW Cabrio as a daily driver and it's been a fun little car. Durable? Sure! 150K miles. Easy repairs. Good mileage? Sure! 30/35 mpg. Our car doesn't smell like anything raunchy - just German leather seats (made in Mexico). To drive one of these cars and be male you just have to be confident. Especially in a small TN town... Well the gray creeping into my beard and hair helps, as does the child seats in the back seat. Worst case I can always explain it's my wife's car (I AM married VBG!) We were going to sell our Cabrio this spring but the high cost of fuel and my wife's commute has convinced me to keep the car. I figure it has another 50K miles in it without much trouble. Would buy another one in a second. Maybe the Carigslist owner doesn't really want to sell their car but are advertising hoping to find some new "friends".

joeaverage

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Weather and darkness will not be an issue — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 23:52:35 EDT

@DannyBN: What you mean like perferated?

Weather and darkness will not be an issue

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

bd_oakland — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:13:55 EDT

I've come up with some fun search terms, but I'm probably not searching the cars for sale with that one--that's just me, though.

bd_oakland

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Brian B — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:24:06 EDT

@Jonny Lieberman: Yeah? Tell that to my wife!

Brian B

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

texajeff — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 12:22:55 EDT

@LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot: No. I was thinking the same thing.

texajeff

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

BoomhauerTX — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:12:28 EDT

Sounds straight out of the movie Mallrats -

Shannon Hamilton: You see, Bruce, I like to pick up girls on the rebound from a disappointing relationship. They're much more in need of solace and they're fairly open to suggestion. And, I use that to fuck them some place very uncomfortable.
Brodie: What, like the back of a Volkswagen?

BoomhauerTX

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

BlownOring — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 08:29:14 EDT

Butt sex is wild and it don't cause no child!!!!

BlownOring

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Naturally Exasperated? — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 05:31:46 EDT

@smokeydog001: AWESOME! one of a few branches i'd like to see lopped from the Gawker family tree!

Naturally Exasperated?

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Turboner — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:54:43 EDT

@Jonny Lieberman: Yeah, it just doesn't smell the same. A friend told me that.

Turboner

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Turboner — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:54:11 EDT

@charles_barrett: You talkin' about my wife's Audi?

Turboner

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

sos10 — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:26:49 EDT

Dear Abby..."My husband he has been test driving a lot lately, yesterday he came home last night smelling like a VW cabrio. What can I do?"

sos10

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

mechimike — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 23:33:42 EDT

I'm somewhat male, somewhat more affluent than average (based on census statistics) and probably more educated than average, DON'T read Gawker or subscribe to Vanity Fair...where does that leave me?

Fucking politicos. There's a reason I left DC.

mechimike

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Rick Astley — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 23:30:25 EDT

[hpamotorsports.com]

@staaave: Here's a twin turbo Cabrio by those crazy Canucks @ HPA -- [web.archive.org]

@Pope Dearthair the Awesometh: That's probably this same one.

Rick Astley

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

kleinlowe — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 23:20:17 EDT

@kleinlowe: Please allow me to clarify this thought; the use of 'your preferred gender' is not meant to infer any innate preference on your behalf, but rather suggest that, like a puppy, they serve as an irresistable beacon to straight women and twinks, while being less successful when trying to attract the attention of lesbians, manly men, and bears.*

*I am lead to believe flannel is involved in this process.

kleinlowe

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

kleinlowe — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 23:12:59 EDT

@Yurikaze: I have it from a good source that cute VWs have the same effect as carrying around a puppy when it comes to attracting members of your preferred gender.

kleinlowe

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Smells_Homeless — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:57:30 EDT

Well sure. But the VW pretty much removes that as an option.

Smells_Homeless

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Doggie Daddy runs on gin — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:55:58 EDT

@Jonny Lieberman:
Meh

Doggie Daddy runs on gin

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Jonny Lieberman — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:42:44 EDT

You guys know you can have butt-sex with women, right?

Jonny Lieberman

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

staaave — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:11:19 EDT

@Pope Dearthair the Awesometh: That's pretty b.a. I'm not really opposed to cabrios but they did earn the nickname bitch bucket for a reason.

staaave

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

LandofMinos, Don't you fucking look at me! — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:51:58 EDT

@charles_barrett:
Maybe they mean the top is in 'perforated' condition. Maybe from a little over enthusiasm.

LandofMinos, Don't you fucking look at me!

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Doggie Daddy runs on gin — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:46:08 EDT

Well the "truthiness" shall set us free. While the Cabrio may be driven by an assortment of persons of various predilections, we all know that most men are driven by their "vaginas". LOL.

Doggie Daddy runs on gin

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

WilliamG. — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:38:56 EDT

Wow, these comments almost make me wish I'd found out about this BEFORE the ad got taken down.

Almost.

WilliamG.

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:27:02 EDT

@charles_barrett: Does the top come over an enthusiastic bottom?

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

LTDScott changed his name! — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:14:29 EDT

@Smells_Homeless: Apparently not...

LTDScott changed his name!

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

LTDScott changed his name! — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:13:29 EDT

Am I the only one who's thinking "Mallrats?"

LTDScott changed his name!

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Deartháir and his eight little drained beers — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 21:12:10 EDT

@staaave: There is one in southern BC similar to your description. No rainbows or teddy bears, but he actually takes it to drag strips, and has a little sticker where the "Cabrio" used to be, that says something like, 'THIS "CHICK CAR" JUST WHUPPED YOUR ASS.'

Deartháir and his eight little drained beers

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

mattEGTx — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:39:19 EDT

@staaave: I find myself wishing I had saved that picture of the camo-painted track-slut Miata rolling on white/yellow daisy wheels- that's the only car I can think of that can compete.

mattEGTx

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:26:27 EDT

@DannyBN: "TOP IS IN PERF COND"
Was that a clue to what cause the smell?

Leave it to a top to toot his own horn... we need a witness-statement to verify and confirm these claims...

Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

staaave — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:15:39 EDT

@Yurikaze: I'd take one completely stock looking with ronal teddy bears, one of those rainbow stickers and a VR6T swap - just so I could drive around embarrassing guys in mustangs and camaros.

staaave

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

yellofury * * * * * — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:08:22 EDT

reminds me of License to Drive
"I already got a Mercedes" (a nice pre-Rollergirl Heather Graham)
hopefully Wonkette wont go the same way
as Corey Haim - downhill

yellofury * * * * *

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Yurikaze — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:55:14 EDT

In college, my roomate got stuck with his girlfriend's cabrio for weekend.
Being overconfident college guys, we and a third friend were like "If we are stuck with this thing, then we are going to rock it hard."
We were stoked, thinking we could actually make a cabrio seem straight and cool, and possibly even pick up ladies with it.
We got about 2 miles down the road before we wimped out, turned back, and spent the rest of the weekend playing Gran Turismo 2.

Yurikaze

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:52:40 EDT

@DannyBN: I already roll in an E320; what would I need a smelly VW Cabrio for...? Oh, right, for when I don't want the Benz to get smelly...

Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

DannyBN — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:51:35 EDT

"TOP IS IN PERF COND"

Was that a clue to what cause the smell?

DannyBN

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

NICKNICK — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:18:45 EDT

cabrio convertible. fucking in an uncomfortable place IN an uncomfortable place.

this might be the most meta craigslist ad ever

NICKNICK

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:18:19 EDT

John Stagliano is indicted April 10th by the Feds, and now, mysteriously, a VW cabriolet smelling of butt sex is for offer in Hawaii. Coincidence? I think not.

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

GTX141 — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:17:16 EDT

@Smells_Homeless: Sounds like his MO

GTX141

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

camp6ell — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:16:31 EDT

BIG SHOUT OUT TO DWMILLER!

camp6ell

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Doggie Daddy runs on gin — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:15:36 EDT

Buttsex is mandatory in a Cabriolay

Doggie Daddy runs on gin

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

graverobber- My Yugo Nova! — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:14:46 EDT

Wow, when car-pool meets bathhouse.

graverobber- My Yugo Nova!

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

smokeydog001 — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:09:43 EDT

Well, the VW and Wonkette have one thing in common, they are both filthy pieces of shit.

smokeydog001

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

FLB — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:08:28 EDT

He had me until he wrote 'VW makes cars that last...'.

FLB

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

TheGuinnessTooth — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:05:07 EDT

Whoa it is both a cabriolet and a convertible. Talk about tautology.

TheGuinnessTooth

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

DannyBN — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:02:25 EDT

@charles_barrett: IN one, not FOR one.

DannyBN

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

staaave — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 19:02:12 EDT

@staaave: I guess it shows the average person probably thinks of all the same things when their objective is: "what do I say that will get people to buy this car."

staaave

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

staaave — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:58:14 EDT

1. ALLCAPS. check.
2. Gratuitous inclusion of examples citing the cars awesome condition. check.
3. Dubiously low price. check.
4. Random options such as "dual-front airbags." check.
5. Once again, gratuitous - claim of "good fuel mileage."
check.
Up until the buttsex reference I thought this was just craigslist spam.

staaave

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:56:12 EDT

Well, I know my name is going to come up in this thread at some point, so I might as well get this over with...
Buttsex in a VW..?
Puh-lease...!
Now, a Benz, Bimmer, or even certain Audis, that's another story...

Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Ω ß®ªғғ — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:54:21 EDT

@no_slushbox: oh how I wish we have a COTLA, Comment of the Late Afternoon...
THAT was funny...

Ω ß®ªғғ

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

no_slushbox — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:52:35 EDT

Wow, a Cabrio that smells like buttsex - way to support a stereotype. What next, a Subaru that smells of two different vaginas and comes with some Melissa Etheridge CDs?

no_slushbox

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Vintage Racer is out taking pictures — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:47:58 EDT

@smokyburnout:
I mean, you can't even drive all the way AROUND the damn thing...

Vintage Racer is out taking pictures

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Ω ß®ªғғ — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:47:29 EDT

@Village_Idiot: I think Starbucks is already working on incorporating this flavor into their lineup...

Yeah can I get a Butt-Sex latte with whip cream... Size? Venti of course...

Ω ß®ªғғ

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

SLR_BlowerMania — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:46:55 EDT

I wonder what his "Best Offer" would be?

SLR_BlowerMania

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Smells_Homeless — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:46:42 EDT

"Like the backseat of a Volkswagen?"

Smells_Homeless

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

smokyburnout — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:46:12 EDT

@Vintage Racer: well, yeah. i've driven across the entire island in about 18 minutes.
in a victory/p***y magnet yellow Vette Z06.
while getting pulled over by police exactly zero times...

smokyburnout

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

DannyBN — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:45:57 EDT

DannyBN

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

andy — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:44:50 EDT

You had me at 'CAPSLOCK'...

I'm not even going to ask about the smell.

andy

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

lascauxcaveman — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:42:42 EDT

@Village_Idiot: And if you don't like that aroma, you can always put the top down. It's Hawaii, for Pete's sake.

I've been to Hawaii several times, and I think everything smells kinda funky there anyway. Tropical humidity and ongoing vegetable decay being what they are. It's a little like living in a compost bin 365 days a year.

lascauxcaveman

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Ω ß®ªғғ — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:42:10 EDT

I almost wish I didn't get the hat-tip on this one...
almost

Ω ß®ªғғ

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Village_Idiot — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:38:38 EDT

Ahhh, nothing like the smell of buttsex in the morning.

Village_Idiot

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

Vintage Racer is out taking pictures — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:38:32 EDT

105,000 miles.... on a freaking island?? and it's not even that BIG an island??

Vintage Racer is out taking pictures

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

lascauxcaveman — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:35:07 EDT

Truthiness in advertising. Yeah!

lascauxcaveman

And Now, Your Jalopnik Moment Of Zen...

bugattatra — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 18:31:08 EDT

But sex is the only kind of sex that happens in a VW Cabrio.

bugattatra