Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags - Jalopnik Comments

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

ViergangFuchs — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:33:17 EDT

It looks like an additional apostrophe escaped from your ass there, Mr. Senior Editor.

Ray, your mother is a fine woman, I doubt she wear's anything inappropriate, and I was so personally touched by that puff piece in New York about your marriage that I decided to renew my vows to my Heckler & Koch.

ViergangFuchs

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Ray Wert — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:32:12 EDT

And fercrissakes, both of you kids stay out of my mom's closet!

Ray Wert

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

JamieV — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:23:42 EDT

Your mother wear's combat boots Wert... :P

And your father smells of elder berries... :D

JamieV

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Ray Wert — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:57:58 EDT

@ViergangFuchs: @JamieV: Gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask the two of you to please put your drinks down, step outside and create your own content on your own sites for us to link to and make fun of. This is the holy house of the Jalop, and fighting has no place here. I mean, unless we start them. Then it's fair game.

Ray Wert

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

JamieV — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:57:47 EDT

Jack, Jack, Jack...

Are you still butt hurt that I don't call you anymore? I can only take so much of you trying to screw me without at least offering a reach around!

It probably goes without saying that there is only so much room over at our house for a head as big as yours. The fact that you'd even bother to come over here to Ray's house of love and throw me under the bus just reinforces the fact that you wore out your welcome a long time ago. Don't let he door hit ya where god split ya.

JamieV

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

ViergangFuchs — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:16:23 EDT

A message to Jamie from Motive Magazine:

Dear Jamie,

It's bad enough you showed your panties when you wimped out of my offer to run against you at any track in the country, in any production car available. What a lamer you are, to piss backwards in such a public manner! And then you banned me from your site in an attempt to make everybody forget that I brought the bitch out in you in front of your imaginary 600,000 readers.

But now I see you're shilling on your site for people to vote over here... and yet you only have 400-some votes? What does that say about the traffic you REALLY do?

You suck.

Sincerely,

Jack Baruth
The Guy You Wussed Out Of Racing Against

ViergangFuchs

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

pryndyl — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:01:31 EDT

I think that would be Toymobil?

There's a car in the Model pictures? Where?

pryndyl

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

laughing_guitarist — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:07:05 EDT

@graverobber: Oldsmoyota... or Toysmobile?

laughing_guitarist

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

TheTooth — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:57:23 EDT

The Camaro Monza looked sweet. I think Chevy should "steal" this hoax and make it.

TheTooth

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

crankcase — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:04:51 EDT

I have a sudden urge to be a Kia.

crankcase

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

bmwfanatic — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:48:31 EDT

I voted for the Jag, because it actually made you guys call their PR dept.

bmwfanatic

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

i drive a dodge stratus!!! — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 09:21:00 EDT

i really shoudl have tipped jalopnik about this yesterday...it got me pretty good at first...
[autos.aol.com]

i drive a dodge stratus!!!

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

dolo54 — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:24:10 EDT

dolo54

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

dolo54 — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:23:07 EDT

The Camaro overboost feature sounds great. All it needs is a big meter on the top of the windshield that starts flaming when the overboost is ready.

dolo54

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Mike the Dog — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 07:46:43 EDT

@TexanIdiot25: Super glue fails too easily if you hit it sharply. I use JB Weld.

Mike the Dog

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 07:43:33 EDT

I how think certain ones in doubt,
to glitter, glitter, a little the star.
I how think those which is on with respect to the world
like the diamond of glitter of the sky in doubt to be high so,
glitter, a little the star!
When the sun which burns goes,
when him nothing shines,
show you the light/write,
to glitter a little, glitter, all nights.
I how think certain ones in doubt,
to glitter, glitter, a little the star!
Then the traveler of the darkness
appreciates in the spark of your minimum;
He may see when so it does not shine,
method in the angle which goes.
I how think certain ones in doubt,
to glitter, glitter, a little the star!

POLAЯ is taking his work underground. He can't let it fall into the wrong hands again!

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

BuckeyeCamper — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 06:49:48 EDT

Oldsmobile simply for the fact that a news site I check actually linked to the story thinking it was true. (of course they also linked to some random blog once that said GM would drop Pontiac).

BuckeyeCamper

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Mad_Science — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 02:00:52 EDT

Ah...the danger of pranks that open our eyes to good ideas (e.g.: Jag and Camaro)

I had to vote for Moto GP for the inclusion of "prostitutes dressed like Nazis" in an announcement.

I'm assuming stars are like the USMC Sword: Earned, Never Given™

Mad_Science

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

kleinlowe — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:51:43 EDT

It took me a good minute of staring at the camaro picture to figure out what was changed. Now that I have, I prefer it greatly to the real Camaro. Is that wrong?

kleinlowe

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

joneez — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:32:20 EDT

I voted for Lambo. That's so Douglas Adams!

joneez

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

danio3834 — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:23:48 EDT

...Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down...

@Rick Astley:

danio3834

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Number_Six — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:17:01 EDT

@Turboner: Seoul is boringer.

Why is the Mini angry? Crossman? Anyone...?

Number_Six

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Turboner — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:08:10 EDT

I've got a star, but it's kind of a rusty brown color.

BTW, Minneapolis is boring.

Turboner

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

charles_barrett — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:51:00 EDT

@graverobber: Well, maybe journalistically, but in no way mechanically...! I have ten thumbs, five per hand! I can only aspire to do that Star the honor it deserves with my bon mots.

charles_barrett

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

lascauxcaveman — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:43:52 EDT

@graverobber: I ain't letting my car anywhere near Polar.

I like my car.

lascauxcaveman

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Rick Astley — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:43:47 EDT

@danio3834: I'm so last week.

Rick Astley

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

graverobber- Two BEER minimum — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:15:15 EDT

@charles_barrett: Always trust your car to the man who wears a star.

graverobber- Two BEER minimum

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Smokescreen — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:08:39 EDT

Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand,
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land!

I needed that.

Smokescreen

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

lascauxcaveman — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:01:52 EDT

@Schweppes: "The star-belly sneetches had bellies with stars, but the plain-belly sneetches had none upon thars."

[/Theo. Geisel]

lascauxcaveman

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Armand Bengle — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:00:30 EDT

@charles_barrett: You know, when I got my star, Ray set up a "Bat Signal"-style spotlight that would project a star in the sky when the commentariat needed me. Just saying...

Armand Bengle

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

charles_barrett — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:50:22 EDT

@Schweppes: I was as surprised as you about getting "the star treatment". I suppose that now I shall want to wear a pager to know when and where my special services are required... *grin*

charles_barrett

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Schweppes — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:31:20 EDT

Man, there are stars sprouting all over the place here. Is there some sort of master list so we can find those deemed worthy and worship them?

Schweppes

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

crazyreesie — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:24:02 EDT

Re: HDC

Well, Jalopnik needed a day off. =)

Vote in for Motive!

crazyreesie

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

JayP71 — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:19:02 EDT

The Rio add is obvioulsly a hoax. A grown adult is leaning on the hood of a Rio, and it hasn't caved in.

JayP71

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

ab3 — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:17:09 EDT

Dog proof wheels, just cause i want some

ab3

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

graverobber- Two BEER minimum — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:12:47 EDT

@smokyburnout: Geez, another one of those Russian BMW ads?

graverobber- Two BEER minimum

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

smokyburnout — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:08:22 EDT

A New Side To Formula 1

April 1, 2008, 11:32 CET

PARIS, France (AP)- This morning, the FIA announced possibly the most radical movie tie-in deal ever. The Grand Prix of Monaco will be the site of a major promotion the upcoming feature film "Speed Racer". The course will be modified to incorporate elements from the tracks featured in the motion picture. The most extreme change will be to the famed tunnel beneath the Fairmont Monte Carlo Hotel. It has often been speculated that Formula 1 race cars produce enough downforce to drive upside down on the ceiling of a tunnel, but this year it will finally be proven. "Recently, I lost a little bloo- er, I was at the picture house with my grandchildren and and saw a preview for this "Speed Racer" film," said recently disgraced FIA President Max Mosley, "and I said, 'Why, well that's bloody brilliant!" Wind tunnel testing by top F1 team engineers have shown that running the cars upside-down is feasible, if not dangerous. Drivers seemed apprehensive about the idea, though none would answer my questions as they did not seem to take the idea seriously. This is not the first time that movies have been promoted at the Monaco GP. Red Bull Racing has run promotional paintschemes at the track in the past, and in 2004, the Jaguar Racing team attached €160,000 ($250,000) Steinmetz diamonds to each of its cars(one of which was lost in a first-lap incident).

smokyburnout

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:05:57 EDT

@HDC: Your sayin it wrong...

I the mind of Jalopnik which today appreciates in being the straight person of crowd of the comedian of wannabe desire the fact that you say. Do tradition and k in this?

POLAЯ is taking his work underground. He can't let it fall into the wrong hands again!

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

HDC — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 23:00:42 EDT

I'd like to say thank you Jalopnik souls for being the straight man in the crowd of wannabe comedians today. Please make this a tradition, k?

HDC

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:38:16 EDT

"Ayeee!!!"

KEEYAAA BABY!!

Alligator taste like chicken, too!!

POLAЯ is taking his work underground. He can't let it fall into the wrong hands again!

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:23:31 EDT

@Ray Wert:

WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I feel like singin'

Prince- Purple Rain - Baby I'm a Star!

Hey, look me over
Tell me do you like what you see?
Hey, I ain't got no money
But honey I'm rich on personality
Hey, check it all out
Baby I know what its all about
Before the night is through
You will see my point of view
Even if I have to scream and shout

Baby I'm a star
Might not know it now
Baby but I are, I'm a star
I don't want to stop, until I reach the top
Sing it! We are all a star!

Hey, take a listen
Tell me do you like what you hear?
If it don't turn you on
Just say the word and I'm gone
But honey I know, ain't nothing
Wrong with your ears
Hey, check it all out
Better look now or it just might be to late (just might be to late)
My lucks gonna change tonight
There's gotta be a better life
Take a picture sweetie
I ain't got time to waste

Oh baby I'm a star
Might not know it now
Baby but I are, I'm a star
I dont want to stop, until I reach the top
Sing it! We are all a star!

Everybody say, nothing come to easy
But when you got it baby, nothing come to hard
You'll see what I'm all about (see what I'm all about)
If I gotta scream and shout (if I gotta scream and shout)
Baby baby (baby) baby (baby) baby (baby)
Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah star!

Might not know it now
Baby but I are, I'm a star
I don't want to stop, until I reach the top
Sing it! star

Baby baby baby
Oh baby I'm a star
Baby baby baby
Somebody
(we are all a star)

(baby I'm a star)
We are all a star

We are all a star

Doctor!
Baby, baby, baby, baby,
Baby, baby, baby, baby
We are all a star

POLAЯ is taking his work underground. He can't let it fall into the wrong hands again!

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

MeMikeYouNot — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:18:35 EDT

I guess I'm getting old, but is that Tundra picture any different that a regular Tundra? I did like the reference in the Pickup.com article to the spokesperson, April Fursten!

MeMikeYouNot

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

TheGuinnessTooth — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:12:53 EDT

THATS what the Camaro should have looked like. All coupes should actually be fastbacks or hatchbacks. Death to trunks.

TheGuinnessTooth

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

TexanIdiot25: Flavor enhanced with A.D.D. — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:12:43 EDT

The funniest, yet incredibly bad (mean) April fools joke:

One man hacked into a site and forum specializing in helping epileptic folks. Once hacked, he added lots of rapidly flashing images.

You get the rest. Kinda laughed, then felt bad, lol..

And, today, supergluing coins infront of the venting machines at school. OH TEH LOLZ

TexanIdiot25: Flavor enhanced with A.D.D.

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

BeerDearthair — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:07:03 EDT

I think I like the new Ford logo better... someone send them a memo.

BeerDearthair

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

danio3834 — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:03:18 EDT

Frankly, I'm surprised none of the selection involved a Rick Roll. Everyone I know everywhere on every page has been sending me blind links to Rick Astley like they invented it.

danio3834

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

danio3834 — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 22:01:02 EDT

@OneWithNature: Toyota entering NASCAR??? Now it really IS April Fools.

danio3834

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Bumblebee — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:51:43 EDT

@voodoojoo: I vote for you.

Bumblebee

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Ray Wert — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:49:18 EDT

@やのГ人Я - Is commenter of the stars: OK polar, I'll give you a star.

Ray Wert

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

mikedrawcar — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:47:24 EDT

lame. I liked previous years entries like the Lotus heavy duty pickup, with a GVW of under 1000lbs. Or the Mini full-sized SUV that could fit a Mini in the rear cargo area.

mikedrawcar

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Isetta — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:40:50 EDT

The Olds adverts were a hoot. But I kept going back to the Kia Rio in black time and time again for some reason. Hmm, time to revisit once again.

Isetta

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:32:06 EDT

I why look at the star, it is? I think that one we want!!

Star Commenter?!?!?!

POLAЯ is taking his work underground. He can't let it fall into the wrong hands again!

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Adamskiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiy — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:29:58 EDT

Jaguar, please design your entire vehicle lineup after the above illustration.

Thank you.

Adamskiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiy

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

no_slushbox — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:26:18 EDT

Toyota doesn't need Oldsmobile, they're already selling tons of cars to senior citizens with the Scion brand.

no_slushbox

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:24:35 EDT

April Fool's Headline for next year:

Ray Wert Leaves Editor-in-Chief position at Jalopnik,
POLAЯ Takes Over?!?!?!

POLAЯ is taking his work underground. He can't let it fall into the wrong hands again!

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Armand Bengle — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:16:23 EDT

Oh, and I'd like to congratulate Kia for finally finding a way to bring some positive attention to the Rio.

Armand Bengle

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

Armand Bengle — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:15:08 EDT

I voted for the Camaro Monza, as Bob Lutz would probably rather NOT remind the car-buying public of the Chevy Monza (IMSA racers excepted) and its badge-engineered siblings. I think the Lamborghini thing is the most believable-- in fact, I'd be willing to bet that if you showed up at the Lamborghini factory with a briefcase full of cash and a couple cows, they'd be happy to upholster your new Gallardo with ol' Bessie's hide.

Armand Bengle

Ten Best...Or Worst...April Fools' Day Automotive Gags

charles_barrett — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 21:14:07 EDT

I went with the dog pee countermeasures... leave it to a Germanic moto-giant like BMW to totally over-engineer a solution to something that is mostly a non-issue for most people. Kinda like the iDrive overkill for the last few years...

charles_barrett