2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts - Jalopnik Comments

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

itswemy — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 13:53:54 EDT

Ahem...I believe the air is coming "out of the cabin"
not in...like a humongous breath allizer...

itswemy

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

mwoeber — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:12:16 EDT

I would suggest that the spreading part is integral to the being-like-a-virus dart.
I mean part.

That was the funniest dart of this entire thread.

mwoeber

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

thatguy01 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:09:32 EDT

@FastGTI: "The hamster friendly version."

Another German car named Oliver.

thatguy01

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Novaload — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:50:35 EDT

@Armand4: Yes, actually. I was going to suggest that Cthulu found there was not quite enough cabin room in this model.

Or that he really, REALLY likes to row the gears himself.

Novaload

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Stuntdriver — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:21:43 EDT

it has the vacum cleaner optional...for messy drivers...now you can have a shineing car interior!

Stuntdriver

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

FastGTI — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 16:25:40 EDT

The hamster friendly version.
BMW exec comment was; If we are going to go green why not go pet friendly too, alright guys I need your ideas by the time I get back from lunch.

FastGTI

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Armand, Star-Spangled Pedant — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:15:15 EDT

Does this make anyone else think of Cthulu?

Armand, Star-Spangled Pedant

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

TR3-A — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:13:26 EDT

@Miscellanea: I had to go to Wikipedia for that one but, yes, you are right! Hmmm... maybe the Ariel Atom might qualify as the first.

@thatguy01: The Chinese will then sell a knock-off version that won't even come close to passing US crash tests. I was going to add a joke about Chinese population control programs but I won't.

TR3-A

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

RoyLFuchs — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:07:27 EDT

@slantsick:

i know. i was about to tell everyone about my twin stick turbo colt.

84 turbo colt the the most underated musclecar of the 80's

RoyLFuchs

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Andrewpetty — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:04:30 EDT

From reading the comments, it is becoming increasingly clear that The Jalopnik missed a prime opportunity to use these photos for a caption contest.

Andrewpetty

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Andrewpetty — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:02:20 EDT

@BlownOring: that was my first thought as well.

@crevans: Brilliant.

Andrewpetty

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

M0L0TOV — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:00:58 EDT

Isn't it a bit early for April Fools?

M0L0TOV

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

charles_barrett — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:58:40 EDT

"...And in other news, automotive engineers world-wide are concerned about the recent appearance of a rare horsepower-sapping automotive parasite... they have dubbed it the Bavarian Motor Worm, or BMW for short..."

charles_barrett

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

thatguy01 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:43:49 EDT

...and it's crevans into the lead.

thatguy01

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

crevans — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:43:32 EDT

Search YouTube for "series of tubes" if the above post makes no sense to you.

crevans

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

crevans — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:42:38 EDT

After hearing of Chrysler's plans to add internet access to their vehicles, BMW is rapidly prototyping their own solution with help from Senator Ted Stevens.

crevans

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

thatguy01 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:05:44 EDT

@TR3-A: The Germans will introduce it first, as a $10K option (like their cunning strategy of charging extra for "performance options" like manual transmissions and simply leaving stuff out of the car).

A few months later, the Japanese then will simultaneously make it standard and slightly lower the base price of the car at the same time.

thatguy01

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

SpeedWagon — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:53:11 EDT

The Ron Popeil edition 7-series.

SpeedWagon

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

AndyDuncan — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:49:05 EDT

I wonder if it's some sort of waste-heat collection system. BMW did play around with steam-hybrids at one point, no?

AndyDuncan

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

AlfaCharger — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:33:45 EDT

@Sth002000:
That's a COTD!!

AlfaCharger

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

TomTheHand — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:31:46 EDT

Possibly related to this twin-turbo V8 craziness?

[www.bimmerfest.com]

Maybe the car's not plumbed for those tiny water-to-air intercoolers, so they rigged up something completely horrendous? A water-to-air intercooler submerged in a big can of water on the passenger seat?

TomTheHand

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

SpeedWagon — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:19:18 EDT

Heard about this: Too much boost, and you'll herniate you pluming!

Nice fine hand-crafted hood, what they use the wrong end of a ball-peen hammer?

SpeedWagon

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Miscellanea — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:11:32 EDT

@TR3-A: The Centre Pompidou of automobiles!

Miscellanea

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

akirachan — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:51:11 EDT

The surgeons performing liposuction on the new and bloated BMW 7-series apparently forgot to suture its belly and its content back in its place, and let the patient go...

akirachan

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Smells_Homeless — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:50:04 EDT

@TPSreports: Damn, sorry about that.

Note to self: read the whole frikkin' entry before you post, S_H.

Smells_Homeless

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Smells_Homeless — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:47:34 EDT

"Hi there. I'd like to talk to you about ducts."

Smells_Homeless

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

vr6john — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:45:26 EDT

Does this come with the circumcision feature as well?

vr6john

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

GameBreaker — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:45:13 EDT

Also note that if you follow the link to the prototype you will notice that the rear exhaust is missing, and as well as it has the angular mirrors and this one has rounded ones which are associated with all M models.

GameBreaker

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

TR3-A — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:44:17 EDT

Too long has the real hardware of automotive technology been hidden under steel sheet and fiberglass. Cars of the near future will "let it all hang out" with external plumbing, wiring and other hardware. The prototype we see here is only the beginning. And the Germans, of course, are in the lead on this but the Japanese will be the first to put it into production.

TR3-A

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Sth002000 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:43:11 EDT

BMW still having no luck marketing to the chosen people.

Sth002000

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

GameBreaker — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:42:28 EDT

WTF... This looks to be an M model, possible M7??? You can tell by the M front bumper and the rear exit Exhaust. Up to this point all 7 series cars have had the exhaust exit under the car, even the V-12s. The hoses may in fact be added cooling for whatever beast is lurking under the slightly buldged hood.

GameBreaker

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Rock517 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:38:42 EDT

Wonder what happens when it hits 88 mph... That looks like a possible flux capacitor attachment.

Rock517

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

slantsick — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:37:35 EDT

@TPSreports: NICE!

slantsick

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

cyclopticgaze — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:37:06 EDT

@SwatLax: Judging from your avatar photo, it looks like you've had a personal run-in with this BMW test mule. What's the inside scoop?

Me, I'm going to wait till they can get this baby up to ludicrous speed. Then I'm going plaid.

cyclopticgaze

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Chris in KY — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:36:31 EDT

@13oostedwgn: ditto, COTD

Chris in KY

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Naters4 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:24:24 EDT

Tentacle porn.

Naters4

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

TPSreports — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:22:31 EDT

The BMW "Brazil" 7-Series, designed by Terry Gilliam.

TPSreports

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

oldskoolparts — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:17:11 EDT

now if they can figure which pipe to inject the laughing gas into, other than the onlookers from other cars, they might be on to some thing

oldskoolparts

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

slantsick — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:14:12 EDT

@BLS: "The comment itself was just a random blathering about his Dodge Dart."

Man, if that's a problem around here I'm in big trouble.

slantsick

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

oldskoolparts — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:12:38 EDT

BMW decided to out-rice the 'ricers' and put one killer cold air intake system on the newest ride...gives a 7bhp gain thru out the rpm range and is machine washable

oldskoolparts

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

sos10 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:09:00 EDT

BMW fired Bangle and hired Dyson?

sos10

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

BLS — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:03:11 EDT

@SwatLax: @CEman:

All of his comments were about his "Slant Six Dodge Dart", Wert warned him yesterday.

The comment itself was just a random blathering about his Dodge Dart.

BLS

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

OldeEnglishD — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:03:05 EDT

The BMW Medusa Edition: And you thought the ass end was ugly!

OldeEnglishD

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

BlownOring — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:00:41 EDT

In the background was a big walker from the Matrix aiming a shot to blast that squid thing off the hood.

At least I finally know where my multi person beer bong went after I left it in the dorm on move out day.

BlownOring

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Dr.Danger's got it all — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:57:07 EDT

I see that Direct Exhaust Injection system was picked up by BMW.

@AlfaCharger: Only a heartless person could cut a whole in the hood of that sweet E30.

Dr.Danger's got it all

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

m3_of_doom — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:56:22 EDT

C'mon Wes, clearly this is a 7 series in rare Mega Maid trim...having failed to conquer Europe, the Germans have set their cold blue eyes on Planet Druidia's oxygen supply...

m3_of_doom

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Andrewpetty — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:55:36 EDT

@CEman: I only saw it for a moment. I think it was something about BMW stealing an idea he had for his slant six Dart.

Andrewpetty

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

dolo54 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:55:20 EDT

Oh nooos I miss the little troll already.

dolo54

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

graverobber- Same great taste, new low price! — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:53:00 EDT

Indiana: There's a big snake on the car, Jock.
Jock: Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie.
Indiana: I hate snakes, Jock. I hate 'em.
Jock: C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya?

graverobber- Same great taste, new low price!

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

CEman — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:52:51 EDT

@piththeelder:
Could it be I-Suck?

CEman

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

CEman — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:52:25 EDT

@SwatLax:
My thought as well. The quote was gone when I got here.

Wad he say, wad he say?!!

CEman

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

piththeelder — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:52:21 EDT

Damn its gonna suck accidentally getting a hair cut while trying to dial in the sport suspension setting on the I-Drive.

piththeelder

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

SwatLax — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:47:52 EDT

Wait... what did he say that brought down the axe?

SwatLax

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

boosted-lego-wagon — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:43:48 EDT

@Ray Wert: I would suggest that the spreading part is integral to the being-like-a-virus dart.
I mean part.

boosted-lego-wagon

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

AlfaCharger — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:42:48 EDT

I wonder if they read this for the idea?

[www.bimmers.com]

AlfaCharger

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Ray Wert — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:40:14 EDT

@Buckster: Good god -- it's like a virus and it's spreading.

Ray Wert

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Miscellanea — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:39:29 EDT

See, they've re-routed the nitrous system to the cabin for double pleasure. Brilliant!

Miscellanea

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Ash78 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:39:25 EDT

That's just a 7-series intestine mode.

Ash78

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

acarr260 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:38:21 EDT

@Ray Wert: I, for one, welcome the demise of our new Dart overlord.

acarr260

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Buckster — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:37:38 EDT

It certainly does suck.

Have I ever told you guys about my slant six Dart?

Buckster

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Andrewpetty — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:37:21 EDT

@teargas: It is kind of scary. It's like the facehugger from Alien attached itself to a 7 series. I'm anxious to see what ends up bursting through that hood. It can't look any worse than the current 750i.

Andrewpetty

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

boosted-lego-wagon — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:36:32 EDT

@thatguy01:
C O T F'n D.

boosted-lego-wagon

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Maymar — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:35:59 EDT

This is BMW's reaction to the well recieved twin turbo 335i. Massive turbo ducting for everything!

Maymar

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

thatguy01 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:32:58 EDT

Chris Bangle pushes the envelope again, with Dryer Hose Surfacing.

thatguy01

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

wookie1901 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:32:11 EDT

Are you sure this is not the new Kevorkian edition? This way, instead us sitting in a boring garage while waiting for the carbon monoxide to work its peace giving magic, you can enjoy a final ride in the Ultimate Driving Machine while heading into the here-after. There may be some safety issues BMW may need to work out for other motorists. Just because the driver of the new BMW 750iK wants to off themselves does not mean that those sharing the road should be put in danger by cars with corpese at the helm. Perhaps this could be solved, by an automatic "kill" switch for the vehicles once the driver is out. They could work out a joint venture with Volvo, which already has heartbeat sensing technology, although for a much different reason.

wookie1901

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

FLAT4-PΩWER ™ — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:32:07 EDT

It's rush week at Munich Polytechnic. Your daughters are save but lock up your car!

FLAT4-PΩWER ™

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Andrewpetty — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:32:02 EDT

@Ray Wert: C'mon Ray, I think he was about to tell us more about his slant six Dart.

Andrewpetty

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

teargas — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:31:01 EDT

For some reason the lead photo is legitimately terrifying to me. Not in an SLR Mule, it's totally bad ass kind of way either. It actually scares me. I am going to crawl under my desk until a prettier post comes up.

teargas

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

BLS — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:30:08 EDT

@Ray Wert: But really who can get too much Dart commentary. Isn't this website Dartlopnik?

BLS

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Ash78 — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:26:39 EDT

So BMW is going to the NOPI show this year?

Ash78

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Ray Wert — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:23:01 EDT

@deskman: That's it, you're done here.

Ray Wert

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

BLS — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:22:28 EDT

It is easier to commit suicide in your car by driving it into a tree.

BLS

2009 BMW 7-Series Flowbee Package Both Sucks And Cuts

Andrewpetty — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 11:22:07 EDT

I can see that it sucks, but where does it cut?

Andrewpetty