<![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two - Jalopnik Comments]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two - Jalopnik Comments]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I was in a Defender 90 that took that approximate line :) If you let the passenger's side wheel climb the rock, it'll keep you more or less level. But if that right wheel was further down the wall, the H3 would have probably laid right over.

I said approximate. We didn't come out of Hell's Gate without a tow strap, and it was a little dodgy there for a bit.

The fact that you're not seeing any front axle articulation is part of what's weird. That's probably due to the indepenent front suspension.

KeithTanner

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I was on the Hells' Revenge trail on Wednesday 3/19. We saw the Hummer folks out there with the H3T. I didn't see it go up Hell's Gate, but I don't doubt it did. With that being said, I don't know how the front end got up so high in that pic, unless the driver goosed it going up a ridge. A lot of vehicles go up on the sides of that obsticle, but this doesn't look like the front tires are touching anything.

Thirty-Nine

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @drewheyman: Did I say that? All I'm trying to say is that you look like a douche for picking an H2 over a Tahoe or an H3 instead of a Colorado/Trailblazer. I mean, c'mon, David Caruso's character on CSI Miami drives an H2.

Maymar - now with 37% less anonymity

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I wonder how many they will sell.... from what I hear and see, the used car market is overflowing with Smaller and bigger Suv's and trucks..prices are dropping fast, as nobody buys those cars... people want smaller and lighter..
Oh what an insight they have at GM.

sos10

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Having shot photos off roading around moab with my buddy in his
modified rubicon I can appreciate the environment.

Something looked a bit off in this photo. Maybe up in the air at that angle with the loading on the suspension kinda wrong - Looked photochoped initially but on closer inspection it may be legit.

However...

It looks like its right up against the rock wall.

Do we have an after shot of the passenger side sheet metal if this thing actually climbed that wall?

kneebeau

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I live right near Moab. That sure looks like Hell's Gate to me. The truck's in the right attitude, too. Until you've tried to take pictures around here, you wouldn't believe the weirdness of the light sometimes.

KeithTanner

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Hummer will forever be saddled with the
'overcompensation/smalldick' stigma until they come out with a vehicle smaller than the current wrangler. Even the, the whole idea of a brand to be modeled after an army vehicle, and then sell them as shiny semi-capable ego strokers, seems shallow, just like the customers. You wanna look badass? Get a 10 yr old rusted toyota pickup, and it will give you less headaches, get you more places, perform better in every category of autodom, and you have gas money until the thing finally kicks at 400000 miles. Poseur jerkoffs.

boognish

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @elwood: I know at least 5 people who work on radio towers who drive H2's... next...

fresnel

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> They're a real, DOT approved beadlock by Hutchinson that the engineers were testing on the truck. That was the problem on Hell's Gate. The bolts stick out beyond the tire and caused the tire to loose grip on the sidewall, hence the big air. I don't think they'd put them on the truck again for any serious rock-crawling.

4x4Nick

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @iamverb: It's not jumping/doing a wheelie, the pass side tire is climbing up the wall on that side.

Mad_Science

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @Trembler: Your comment tells me you haven't been doing the reading you suggest we do.

The HMMWV is massively overrated for recreational off-roading. It's too wide to go anywhere, has almost no suspension travel and lacks locking differentials. Also: 150hp diesel and 8000lbs do not a spry vehicle make.

Meanwhile, the H3 has a 4:1 transfer case, locking differentials front and rear(?), and a better power-to-weight ratio than the original pig.

The H2 and H3 actually have the first $2500 in upgrades that you'd spend on their GM stablemates if you wanted to take them offroad.

The problem is, it's coupled with really unfortunate sheetmetal and a "look at me, I'm an asshole" stigma in a era where it's no longer cool to consumer fossil fuels with reckless abandon.

Mad_Science

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @drewheyman: Yeah, I did too, and then I got a Selle San Marco seat for my road bike, and now I prefer to use the padded shorts, lest I get sore before I make it back home.

@fresnel: Show me the blue collar folk driving a Hummer. The point is, unless you want to piss away money to look cool, you buy a Silverado or somesuch.

elwood

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @Mad_Science: To me, they look like fake beadlocks, which would be unexcusable. But not surprising.

Bo Darville

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @Wes Siler: Then I stand corrected! Fuzzy black ghosting be damned.

Landing that beast must've been fun.

("Chrysler people"...snort...chortle)

verbing weirds

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> hummer hate must stop.... and stop now.

we must all band together, and embrace the hummer. matter of fact, I think I will go over to my wife right now and ask her to embrace a hummer.

on a serious note, all your jackholes that bash anything larger than a mini... please... graduate from your junior college... start a family... and then you will realize that real life means that you need different tools for different jobs.

sometimes that sockermom DOES need a suburban and sometimes those blue collar folk who make your fat ass comfortable while hacking at your ergonomic keyboard DO need a hummer.

fresnel

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Nice little motor for the inner city!!! Jeez, you have to be a total asshole to want to own one of these stupid stupid cars!

ecobore

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> All of these need to be crushed into cubes.

Triborough

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Wow, I'm not thinking clearly today. Should have read "With our propensity for calling people out for bad photoshopping, do you really think we'd make the same mistake ourselves?"

I'd really like to think you guys hold us in higher regard than this. Tell me it isn't true. :'(

Wes Siler

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @iamverb: With our propensity for calling Chrysler people, do you really think we'd make the same mistake ourselves?

Wes Siler

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I am not a big fan of GM re-badging their trucks as Hummers. The one true Hummer is the H1 or HMMWV. I wish more of the H1 features would be offered at least as options on the rest of them.

Still, GM has done a bit better with this one and are heading in the right direction.

For interesting reading, look into the mechanicals/off road qualities of an H1, blows my mind..

Trembler

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @orangeroller: @JoeKing: @Mad_Science:

Didn't mean to ruffle any feathers.
I'm sure they really did take it to Hell's Gate, and I'm sure it was totally a blast hurtling the H3TA up and out of Satan's ass-crack. Maybe they even got some sweet air off it.

It's just, you know, that this pic looks fake. The shadows don't line up and there's fuzzy floating darkness obscuring everything to the left of and underneath the front end of the truck, like shows up when you want to hide the edges of a paste.

Maybe I'm wrong and it's just that someone went overboard making the truck look like it's popping out of the background unnaturally, but it wouldn't be the first time the 'shop was used to convey the feeling of a real event in a way the real pic didn't.


verbing weirds

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I do my rock crawling the old-fashioned way: chalk on my hands and sticky rubber on my feet.

Ash78

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @elwood: shaddap. i rode a bike as a kid in jeans, in my big fat cold weather jacket or in just my undies. you don't need all that stuff.

drewheyman

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @Mad_Science: yes they are! plus they take too long to type.

orangeroller

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> You can't put it all on Hummer, people buy a Sequoia for the same reasons. But now they've got a "green" gas hog because Toyota makes Prius (I'll never figure that logic out).

People buy Harleys for the same reasons. People buy Corvettes and Porsches for the same reasons. To show off, to overcompensate, because mommy and daddy didn't hug them enough, because it looks good in front of their massively mortgaged home.

It's an inanimate object, you're giving it too much credit. Sure a lot of douche bags buy them. Douche bags have ruined much of what was good in the world. But if a rusted out 1977 Suburban can 4 wheel, this thing sure as hell should be able to.

mytdawg

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @drewheyman: People buy Hummers because of the "big pimpin" image it presents, not because it does anything better than any of the other comparable vehicles in GM's lineup. The drivers are douches because of the conspicuous consumption aspect, the fact that they paid extra for their Hummers so they could look cool.

When I ride my bicycle down the street, the jersey is there to keep me cool, and the bike shorts are there to protect my ass, there's no "looking cool" involved.

elwood

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> If you've got the money to buy a Hummer, you've got the money to import a Defender; so you've got no reason to own a Hummer.

anonymousryan

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Everyone bitches about the Hummer just like they do about the Rolls. They really aren't practical vehicals but who gives a fuck, I want one, but I can't afford one, so I'll bitch about all the people who do have one.

48pan2

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @Maymar: yeah, but driving something that looks like a racecar is less douchetastic? whatever.

and riding a bicycle down a public road while dressed like you are about to run the Tour de France? also equallly douchetastic.

There are plenty of douches in the world. the Army ones are a relatively small percentage.

drewheyman

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> It looks like that Challenger is jumping straight out of Hell.

TriShield

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @JoeKing: Looks it. Another shot of Hell's Gate from roughly the same angle:

buttons

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @iamverb: I'd bet $5 that picture's real.

(might be filtered/adjusted in PS, but the premise/placement is real)

@orangeroller: capital letters are the devil's tool!

Mad_Science

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @iamverb: Could the picture be from the first article where they make mention of the following:

"During an obstacle called Hell's Gate, the truck wound up losing footing and tipping the passenger side into the cliff face, but the tires kept any of the side panels from getting damaged and allowed the Hummer to climb right out of the hole."

Perhaps?

JoeKing

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @iamverb: i dunno. look at the shadows and angles.

orangeroller

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> wow! am i the first not to engage in a pointless self-serving pissing match argument with half the other posters on any of the numerous reasons why the hummer brand is a failure and why people do not care for or appreciate any of the models now that the H1 is gone, and point out that in the lead picture the H3 looks to be leaning on the rock face? and is that why there are no pictures of the passenger side?
whats the deal jalopnik guys? did you wreck it or what?


orangeroller

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I'm surprised nobody's bashed the cut-n-paste job on the lead pic, yet. Seriously, Photoshop is fun and all, but it doesn't bother you that they couldn't get the real one this far off-road for a pic?

It's 'shopped worse than the flying Challenger...

hmmmm...

.

verbing weirds

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @cyclopticgaze: Those are beadlocks.

They hold the tire to the wheel, allowing you to air down your tires to ~8psi offroad without blowing the bead. They're questionably street-legal and definitely not a factory option.

Mad_Science

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @Citroen_SM: I think it's because the H2 is so brash and proud of its conspicuous consumption. It's a lightning rod for all SUV hatred. Plus, I dunno, wanting to drive something because it looks like a military truck? That's always sorta struck me as the logic of the playground bully, 30 years later.

Still, if this can end up in situations where the sunroof can be used for legitimate visibility, it can't be all bad.

Maymar - now with 37% less anonymity

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I appreciate the uniqueness and style of it and for people like me that's all I need.

I like the Holden Ute/G8 El ST Amino for the same reason. Normal trucks are boring, these have a nice twist. Bonus points for real off-road capability and non-watered down ride and handling.

TriShield

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @smokeydog001: I want it to run on waste veggie oil, so the people behind are forced to turn on their lights AND smell Krispy Kreme donuts or taquitos while going down the interstate.

That's got to be the automotive equivalent of making someone else smell your farts.

Ash78

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Projected Image: *
Let's face it - no matter how capable it is, you're still going to look like a douchenozzle driving one.

buttons

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I wish it came with a diesel that would bellow black smoke out of its exhausts, forcing following traffic to turn on their headlights during daytime.

smokeydog001

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @nick2ny:

Yea, I have to agree. That is a cool way to erase the side out of an H3. I hope that thin has heavy duty rock rails/nerf bars.

cgarison

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Are there actually 16 lug nuts on each wheel, or are those just more decorative testosterone replacements?

My problem with the H2 and H3 is not so much their price or gas guzzling, but that they compromise off-road ability with styling that is meant to suggest better off-road ability.

cyclopticgaze

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I've liked Coldplay since they were on the Fierce Panda label and I've liked Hummers since the only thing you could buy was the H1. And it was made by AM General. And the only engine was a 150-hp diesel.

Ash78

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @feckineejit: This hummer is quite different from the Military one. It just looks like the other one, but like the review said, a lot of the things there are only to make it look manly. I love how you can drive a similarly engined GMC or Cadillac SUV, and that's OK, but as soon as it gets more boxy and they put big a big vertical grille on it, people get all upset. The few that they'll actually sell will hardly make any impact. You'd be better off spending your hate on something that actually causes pollution, like coal fired power plants and garbage incinerators, but then again, you don't see a coal fired power plant rolling on by on a daily basis, so as long as it's out of sight, you can continue to hate the tip of the ice berg... (The cliches are two for one today, didn't you hear?)

Oh, Mr. Walker - "...even Aveo's have an AUX input jack these days." - you don't need an apostrophe there, since "have" gives it possession already. Sorry, I just had to...

Citroen_SM

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Dude, did you just say "little peepee?"

Picarso

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Please stop equating civilian Hummers of any iteration (H3, H2 and arguably even H1's) to anything military.

You're falling into GM's trap.

There is NOTHING military about the Hummer product line.

The only true military "Hummer" is the HMMWV ("high mobility multi wheeled vehicle"), referred to as the "humvee".

Thanks

C

clinto

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @feckineejit: [Holds pinky finger at first joint] About this big.

Mike the Dog

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Ride: **
Bouncy and truckish. Is it not a truck?


phdbd

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @13oostedwgn: The hating coldplay thing is just as played out as hating Hummers.

B

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @FreeMan:

Coldplay is what happens before foreplay.

Feds

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> I thought I would like this due to the LM002 vibe it gives off, but I can't, I just can't. I tried, and I tried, but it still makes me gag.

graverobber- Two BEER minimum

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Everyone is upset because they didn't show the El Camino version first.

Bee1

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @13oostedwgn: is coldplay anything like foreplay? 'cause that I like!

FЯeeMan

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> @feckineejit: Slightly bigger than the guy driving the H3.

I gotta say tho, the whole Hummer Hatorade thing is really getting a bit played out. Hating Hummers is like enjoying Coldplay.

boosted-lego-wagon

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Fantastic lead picture, gents. All I can think, when I see that, is "WHEEEEEEEEEEE!"

BeerDearthair

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> How small does your penis have to be to drive a hummer outside of a combat situation?

feckineejit

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> and those wheels make me want to barf.

nick2ny

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> before I read the post, i gotta say, nice first pic. wtf!

nick2ny

]]> <![CDATA[2009 Hummer H3T Alpha, Part Two]]> Chuggin' smog near and far,
But you're dressed like a star,
Rockin' Ted Nugent on your MP3 player.

All the normal people can see,
Your Hummer H3T,
And just know you have a little peepee.

Cuz they all look the same,
You guzzle gas with no shame,
And that's the whole claim to fame.

Never take it off road,
And won't carry a load,
'Cause God forbid any dirt showed.

You act like a player,
Your Peeps think you're a millionaire
But you're really in debt up to your nose hair.

You look like a baller,
Say you can't drive a car,
'Cause you say "I'm six foot two or taller".













POLAЯBEEЯ

]]>