Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R - Jalopnik Comments

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

ozyran — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:41:45 EDT

Ok everyone, now here's the deal. If you put gaudy body kits on the new GT-R, two things will happen: Either soda cans will mysteriously appear under your brake pedal to keep you from slowing down, enabling your car to commit suicide because you have dishonored it, or....your friends will all push the GT-R (that you have made uglier with a tacky body kit) onto railroad tracks, and then one of them will pull out a flashlight and wave his hands in the air like he doesn't care as an oncoming train demolishes the ugly(er) GT-R.

ozyran

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

ShantJ — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 16:30:18 EDT

@smalleyxb122:
Finally, someone who agrees.

@cmdrfire:
It matters little, my friend. An automatic is still an automatic with or without a torque convertor.

ShantJ

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

vflux — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:25:49 EST

T-shirt was already made a few days back, and is awesome:

[www.cafepress.com]

Already ordered me a large black :)

vflux

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

skulldriveshaft — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:30:22 EST

@pitchpitch: which is a great invitation to kids filling it all up with hello kitty plush toys

skulldriveshaft

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

skulldriveshaft — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:29:28 EST

I am making a t-shirt from the photo now.

skulldriveshaft

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

pitchpitch Type-Я — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:30:47 EST

@adamrice:

Or a Hello Kitty exhaust:

pitchpitch Type-Я

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

yellofury * * * * * — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:23:29 EST

@Dr.Danger: DOH!!!!!

yellofury * * * * *

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

blazer — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 15:24:56 EST

2 things came to mind while seeing the pictures:
1) Nissan is using reverse-psychology
2) (the coke can) the writer of the manual just saw Final Destination

blazer

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

bozoerrebbe — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:48:14 EST

@SwatLax: This feels like it has the makings of a good t-shirt.

You mean like these?
[www.rokemneedlearts.com]

bozoerrebbe

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

dolo54 — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:15:58 EST

@yellofury: would you like to buy some \/1agr@???

dolo54

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:10:16 EST

@yellofury: I think you hit CTRL+V

⌘V for us Mac users

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

JantheMan — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:42:23 EST

@yellofury: is that ypur PIN code??

JantheMan

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

yellofury * * * * * — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:40:52 EST

@yellofury: wtf? I pushed some button on my keyboard and this came up
please delete

yellofury * * * * *

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

yellofury * * * * * — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:40:04 EST

1265
yellofury@hotmail.com

yellofury * * * * *

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

JantheMan — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:39:42 EST

My MSN buddy in Japan confirms the one with the can as:

Please don't leave anything that can stick in the pedal, as the red can.
If you do, the accelerator pedal or brake pedal can stop its functionality.
Be aware that no object is stuck under the pedals.
It has been accidents occured by this

The one with the red X:

Unfair remodelling....something....or just.."Sätt inte dit en massa fult skit på bilen din fitta!" It was his word not mine...but it says so...sort of.

The others:
If the engine doesn't start use more people to get it out of the way. Use the Neutral gear

The last one:
If an accident occur please push the railway crossing panic button?!?...is all I know...Now he is cooking....bastard!

JantheMan

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

bzr — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:21:26 EST

@Dr.Danger: POTD, brilliant.

bzr

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 12:21:22 EST

Should be more like this:

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Tetzuoe — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 12:20:52 EST

@badco your supposed to stand next to the car and wave down the conductor with a light.
these images tell me the GTR is prone to rail crossing disasters. None of these people are wearing high visibility jackets.

Tetzuoe

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

badco/LoJ — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:52:24 EST

Standing next to a car that is stranded on the train tracks is a bad idea. Get TF away from there!

badco/LoJ

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

mikedrawcar — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:39:40 EST

@やのГ人Ӄ: you forgot the big red X

mikedrawcar

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

boosted-lego-wagon — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:37:26 EST

Actually, the first picture with the X says:

"Don't believe the hype."

boosted-lego-wagon

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

-chet — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:33:57 EST

Why doesn't Nissan just invent a new-age Torx head screw and assemble the car with it and throw away the key?

While they are at it, they should figure out a way for the paint to have the same qualities of 3M Adhesive Remover, you know, to prevent all the JC Whitney add-ons.

-chet

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

adamrice — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:26:58 EST

The text says "Improper additions / Illegal additions." So presumably there would be some Nissan-approved aftermarket kit. Perhaps a Hello Kitty shift knob.

adamrice

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

smalleyxb122 — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:21:35 EST

@cmdrfire: I suppose that's acceptable then. It'd still be better as a "proper" manual. Real cars have 3 pedals. (dead peadals don't count.)

smalleyxb122

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

cmdrfire — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:17:58 EST

Oh, and this is meant to be an "unmoddable" car, in that the ECU is completely locked down and will brick the car if tampered with. It's one of the conditions that Nissan reached with the Japanese government or something to release such a powerful car - no tuning allowed. Presumably, this will be broken in moments by the smarter modders, and the more ignorant ones will continue to drape all sorts of spoilers and wings and ailerons as soon as the car hits the second hand market.

cmdrfire

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

cmdrfire — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:15:47 EST

@smalleyxb122: The new GT-R has a DSG-alike dual clutch sequential manual. It's quite a spiffy system involving the DSG-alike box at the front of the car, a carbon fibre propshaft going from that to the rear wheels, another carbon fibre propshaft going from a transfer box at the rear wheels to the front wheels, and a signalling system to determine how much power to send between front and rear involving carbon fibre llamas and semaphores.

cmdrfire

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Maymar is convinced M.C. Escher engineered his car — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:12:18 EST

Is it ok if I give my GT-R a blue hairdo, and enter it in some light challenges with very dynamic poses?

Maymar is convinced M.C. Escher engineered his car

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

YankBoffin — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:06:36 EST

I remember when the 300 first came out and Chrysler was taking measures to discourage dealerships from installing faux ragtop kits on the cars, claiming that it would promote the wrong image for the car. Seems like kinda the same thing as what Nissan is now doing for the GT-R.

It didn't work. I see ragtop 300s all the time now.

YankBoffin

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:01:25 EST

I'm not sure if I want a GT-R anymore, they seem to have a high rate of getting stuck on railroad crossings.

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

workingonyourinvoice — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:50:34 EST

He's got the flare in that last one because if the train hits the GT-R it will end up like that suburban on the new KR.

workingonyourinvoice

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

SwatLax — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:47:16 EST

This feels like it has the makings of a good t-shirt.

SwatLax

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:46:28 EST

NISLESS is NISMO!

The Name's Ash78, Housewares

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

FightingChance — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:44:51 EST

Every car manual should have a 'DO NOT RICE' advisory.

FightingChance

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Corvette_Thunder — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:44:23 EST

LOL, GT-R PWNS yur n00bstangs.

Corvette_Thunder

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

smalleyxb122 — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:44:06 EST

RE: the pop can picture

Are they kidding? An automatic?

smalleyxb122

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Parramore64 — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:43:50 EST

Looks like Nissan has the measure of their loyal customers. They need to mass produce stickers so everyone can cite the eventual offenders.

Parramore64

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:41:39 EST

Vin Diesel restraining order in effect.

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Steel_ETC — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:41:26 EST

Where's the driveshaft-through-the-skull warning logo on those last three pages?

Steel_ETC

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Number_Six — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:40:59 EST

@やのГ人Ӄ: Don't can me, bro.

Number_Six

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

fistaway — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:39:30 EST

[en.wikipedia.org] - I think it says don't mess all by itself, who needs a booklet?

fistaway

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:39:22 EST

Dont' Kit me, bro?

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Shapeshifter — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:36:39 EST

Honestly, compared to the sorts of things people are going to do to GTRs, that's downright tame. Tasteful, even.

Shapeshifter

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Advice...Gun_It — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:35:29 EST

So no Altezza tails and Triple Deck Vader wings?

Advice...Gun_It

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

SpeedWagon - Now in Classic view! — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:35:21 EST

@PeteJayhawk: "No more fast and furious sequels"

SpeedWagon - Now in Classic view!

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Number_Six — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:33:46 EST

They're going to get sued in the US because there is no "Don't put a chihuahua under the brake pedal" sticker.

Number_Six

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

camp6ell — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:33:05 EST

every japanese car should come with this X.

camp6ell

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

General Halfshaftery — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:32:26 EST

Perhaps an open pop can isn't the best object to illustrate a brake pedel impediment.

General Halfshaftery

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

Pete Gaines — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:31:45 EST

OK, someone here must know Japanese. What does it say?

Pete Gaines

Don't Mess With The Nissan GT-R

smalleyxb122 — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 10:29:39 EST

Damn, doze flairz iz taight, yo!

smalleyxb122