<![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands - Jalopnik Comments]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands - Jalopnik Comments]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @no_slushbox:

This is true. A Continental GT has enough room for 15 dead prostitutes in the boot. But Bentley has informed those of us whom they are suiting for the car that the Brooklands will have a Hybrid Drivetrain model which will have an apparatus in the same vein as Mr. Fusion from Back to the Future that powers the car by a doo-hickey that converts the dead hookers into energy. Obviously this system has pluses and minuses:

Pros -

Eliminates evidence of dead hookers
Comes in handy in a pinch when low on fuel
Improved Gas Mileage -- Now to 18/23mpg!
Gives the appearance of owner concern with all this Global Warming hogwash
HP increase to >1000, Torque to > 1200lb-ft

Cons -
Loss of some bootspace -- can now only ferry 7.5 dead prostitutes (of full size, 11 "midgets")
Cost of the hybrid upgrade could finance 3-4 years of disposable hookers

Bentley is committed to listening to their customers.

JiAvW

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @muhnkee_2: No I don't like the Fighter. Looks like a TVR.

tocsa120ls

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @tocsa120ls: Why kind sir a blenheim? does one already have a fighter in the garage?

muhnkee_2

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> The four door handles killed it for me. Who the .ell is going to sit in the back EVER? Put a goddamn pushbutton there it you have to, don't try to invent something you have to create a need for. Oh, and it is overpriced... if I'm gonna spend a ludicrous amount of money on a car, i don't want to stop and explain everyone that this costs more because it only looks like a V-dub based Bentley, but the underpinnings are different, and more handiwork is in it.
Going with a Bristol Blenheim, sorry.

tocsa120ls

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @Mark Arnold: I also bought my Sunbeam Alpine from a fraction of Mark Arnold's collective persona.

Armand Bengle

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @Mark Arnold: This isn't you, is it?

[www.youtube.com]

Just lie to me if it is: If it turns out that someone younger than me is writing for Jalop while I battle like Iwo Jima to stay awake at meetings, I may defenestrate myself.

Cheers!

Bumblebee

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> When I look at the Hood Ornament, the only thing I can think of is "Beagull"

POLAЯBEEЯ

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @Bumblebee: I suppose it is hard to tell who I really am, what with all my googledangers:
Actor: [www.imdb.com]
Rock Star: [en.wikipedia.org]
Comic Book Historian: [funideas.home.att.net]
Credit Union Senior VP: [www.markarnold.biz]
Saab Dealer: [www.markarnold.co.uk]

The list really does go on. Maybe each of these identities represents a small part of the persona that is 'Mark Arnold'

...well except the Saab Dealer Part... I've never had a Saab. Nothin' in particular against 'em... just um, never bought one.

Mark Arnold

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @peabody3684: I think it's clear to all of us that Jalop's reluctance to introduce the new faces in the crowd is an invitation to invent stories about them, much as we did for Ms. Martin.

Mark Arnold, former resident of Her Majesty's Prison Service, joined Jalopnik upon liberation and has been very carefully telecommuting ever since. Revered for his felony-grade hoonage in some circles, Mr. Arnold came to the attention of Jalop-in-Chief Ray Wert in a poorly-lit parking lot while brandishing an indeterminate weapon that bore a strong resemblance to Mr. Wert's car radio. Impressed with Mr. Arnold's adamant desire to personally review ultra-expensive cars, preferrably alone, Mr. Wert invited him on board.

Mr. Arnold is rumored to drive a 1981 Rolls Royce Silver Spirit in need of a few new parts.

Bumblebee

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> If you squint, the hood ornament looks like a flying dollar sign.

Amscram

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @Novaload: That would be "gospel"--which, regardless of the type of car he is preaching, you all know the feeling he is describing! Essential Jalopity.

NovaloadMissesPolar

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @Armand4: Can I get an amen, somebody? This guy is preachin' the Bentley gosepel!

NovaloadMissesPolar

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Bentley think they're so special, giving the rear passengers a door handle. On a $15k Chevy Cobalt coupe, the rear passengers get their own lock pull! Of course, cost cutting dictates that the people up front get nothing, but you know, it's the effort to give you that caliber of feature that counts.

Maymar - now with 37% less anonymity

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> I love this car. I love that it's a pillarless hardtop. I love that it's built on the massive scale Walter Owen Bentley learned as an apprentice railway mechanic. I love that it makes an absurd amount of torque. I also love that being less blingtastic (not to mention more expensive) than the Continental should help keep it out of the hands of rappers, basketball stars, Paris Hilton and other retards who would put it on Donk wheels and add a rice-rocket rear wing.

If this car came with a six-speed, so that I could channel those 775 pound-feet of torque to the ground without interference, I'd gladly sell my soul for it. Although my soul wouldn't be worth that much, so I'd also have to become a man-whore. Five years or so of selling my body should cover the down payment...

Armand Bengle

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Features and Benefits, people.

MustaineGT

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> If you pulled up to the Yacht club in this thing someone would hand you their keys and a $5 when you got out.

piththeelder

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Old world wood indeed.

DoctorNineTenths

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Didn't Bentley show this off at the New York Auto Show last year? Wasn't this supposed to be the very last hand-made Bentley?

@Euromobile: Exactly. There's a story behind this. Bentley (and Rolls, back when) have been rocking that same Ford Taurus steering wheel since the early 90s. At this price bracket, you'd think they could get type-approval for something with a little more...class.

I can't believe a prospective customer wouldn't climb in and say: "By jove! You know, I'm not really sure the tiller properly complements the leather of the dash! Would you be a good ol' chap and switch this up 'fore my man comes by to bring her home? There's a chum."

brandegee

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> The Riv and also the 79 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz had a door handle for the rear passengers in a 2dr. auto. That body and engine have been around in one form or another since the 60's when they used to rate the horsepower as "adequate"- nothing more. I must be getting old- I think its a timeless design that the refinements have made even better than the original.....much like the XJ Jaguar.

olddavid

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> now THAT is a car!!, but would it have a satellite link up with my yacht as well?

turbofreak

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Bentley: for when a panther platform Ford isn't old enough for you.

wannabewannabe

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @PeteJayhawk: GOOD POINT!

MR. Wert, you gave prophecy of Monday morning staff intros?!?!?

om nom de plume

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> My problem in affording a Brooklands is not so much too little money as too little self-bullshitting.

Bumblebee

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> at the end of the day its just another rehash of a really really old car - they have been building off this chassis since the first testament was being written...

muhnkee_2

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> So, uh, how much does it cost?

Also - who is Mark Arnold?

PeteJayhawk

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Pfff. I could hone and shape a 2X4 and screw it onto my door too. If I wanted to. Which I don't.

beercheck

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @Stuntdriver: The kind of man that owns a beautiful car like this doesn't trust important stuff to some assistant. Nouveau riche much rookie? Pffft.

JoSCh

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @Vipper Of Vipp:

He also talks funny.

M. Night's The Halfshafting

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @B:
Not having to build your own depot and related track to main line to avoid the hoi polloi.

Al Navarro

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> That spokesman doesn't know shit. He didn't mention cupholders once.

Vipper Of Vipp

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> /puts on top hat and monocle.
What advantages does this have over a train, which I could also afford?

B

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> A Beautiful Car, no doubt. However, I am finding the posh accents a bit infuriating. Yes, I know this is as British as anything (still owned by Volkswagen though), but it seems that anyone with a posh accent is classy, rich, elegant. Madonna has picked up a posh British accent lately, and she if far from classy, elegant, and tasteful (though she is very wealthy).

UDMan

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @no_slushbox:
the assistant a rich guy can order for him "first quality pre-sliced hookers".. even with delivery!!!


Stuntdriver

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> @no_slushbox: I heard they come with 15 disposable blue-tarp liners emblazoned with the Bentley logo for your hooker disposal needs.

workingonyourinvoice

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> thats beautiful!! what is that velvet??

yellofury * * * * *

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> I want to say 'nice', but that VolksBentley headlamp treatment annoys me intensely. It also has to be in the running for the 'Most Boring Steering Wheel in the World Award'. Otherwise, it's just spot-on.

Euromobile

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Obviously the man than can afford a Brooklands has someone else pick up the dead hookers for him.

no_slushbox

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> A local radio station sent a guy to the Chicago auto show and the Bentley rep told him that you can fit 15 dead hookers in the trunk of a Continental GT.

no_slushbox

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Well done, Bentley. With those extra door handles, you've picked up on a detail featured in Buick Rivieras in 1963.

wannabewannabe

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> A coupe with 4 door handles inside; the rich are different from you and me.

poxpopulus

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Where's my Ipod dock?

MeMikeYouNot

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Nice detail! Is that eagle?

Dr.Danger is in Denial

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Car has a fug front fascia IMHO, but Maser could learn something from this spokesperson.

Al Navarro

]]> <![CDATA[You're Too Poor To Afford A Bentley Brooklands]]> Hey that B has frickin' wings!!

M. Night's The Halfshafting

]]>