PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs? - Jalopnik Comments

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

njsimca — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:37:40 EDT

I'll take the Simca! It combines classic styling with comfort only the French provide, with a high-revving, 944cc rear engine that keeps you engaged in the act of driving! I suppose I would take the Citroen IF I was insane and IF it came with a full time mechanic! I have had several Citroen DS's, and was very, VERY lucky to keep them on the road on my own.
C'est c'a Simca!
Matt Cotton
Lake Parsippany, NJ

njsimca

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

franzouse — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 08:53:46 EST

SM is a legend but I'm from Rallye racing country and the Simca 1000 is a legend there too.
A friend of mine owns one equipped with a supercharged 1294cc engine (from a Simca 1100) that he's been racing at local events for years now, and that thing is wicked. It turns like a dog with the devil on its tail and its 4 speed gives it brutal neck-ache inducing acceleration.
And another reason is the infamous song, and french redneck club hit: "je te prendrai nue dans ma Simca 1000". (babelfish it if you wish)

franzouse

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

FuzzyPlushroom — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 19:44:29 EST

@johnfritz: Outside of Phoenix, yeah, I'd say they're growing in there.

FuzzyPlushroom

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

johnfritz — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 18:16:30 EST

Judging from the looks of the windows, I believe that POS Simca is a terrarium inside. I went back and re-read the ad... didn't see that mentioned.

johnfritz

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Duncan1800 — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 16:27:49 EST

Sure, the horn of the SM has much going for it, all high-pitched and French and stuff.

My issue is that you could, in theory, tell people that you own a Citroen and they might actually have a chance of knowing what you're talking about. Citroen = French car. (Or, depending on your level of pronunciation skill, a semi-precious gemstone.)

But in America - hell, even in Europe - who the hell remembers what a Simca is? Originally a maker of French-built Fiats (horrifying as that sounds), who then spent time basically copying (of all things) Skoda designs, and moved on to become a second-tier division of Chrysler before being swallowed up by Peugeot and ENTIRELY RENAMED as Talbot to avoid any past associations, negative or otherwise.

So if I tell someone I just bought a Simca 1000, they'll most likely ask me if I considered Sony or Toshiba first before going with an off-brand. Hence, there's not even a CHANCE of any positive goodwill springing from the revelation of that fact.

Simca, all the way. And when you show it to people (most likely in pieces at the back of your garage), enjoy explaining to them that no, it's not a Lada.

Duncan1800

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

FuzzyPlushroom — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 15:52:40 EST

@poxpopulus: I just did.

Either way, the SM, 'cause of that horn. Oh, that horn.

FuzzyPlushroom

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

jakay11 — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 13:25:54 EST

gotta be 2 SMs... pneumatics, maser. motor in french chassis with all those electronics?

no chance Mr. Simca

jakay11

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

FЯeeMan is slowly cЯawling out of the new commenting system — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 12:21:40 EST

I went SM because I'm not sure if the pictures were of the 'restorable' car or the 'parts' car.

FЯeeMan is slowly cЯawling out of the new commenting system

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

SeanKHotay — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 10:04:15 EST

Merde...DEUX voitures PCH français?!

Même à l'exclusion de la suspension hydroneumatic, le response est facile: Le PCH avec deux-voiture-emballage

S&M PLG**!!

** Pour La Gagner

SeanKHotay

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

SundaySunday — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:54:03 EST

"... And in Theatre 3, 'The Prick Fuck', Rated R starring Burt Reynolds with a running time of 1 hour and 35 minutes. Showtimes are 3, 5:15, 7, and 10..."

SundaySunday

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Comrade Teargaskov — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:49:47 EST

@streetpirate: Lieberman.

Comrade Teargaskov

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Comrade Teargaskov — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:49:12 EST

The Simca is actually really awesome. No match for the SM's.

Comrade Teargaskov

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

rognbrow — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:06:12 EST

I just watched the SM YouTube clip, it made me cry…

rognbrow

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

ShastaMcNasty — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 09:02:54 EST

There are those who would think that having 2 SM's would be less hellish, because it's a bigger parts pool to choose from.

Those people would be wrong.

2 SM's FTW.

ShastaMcNasty

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

hootjigga — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 08:28:07 EST

Fuck you, 1st gen Scions! I have a BOXIER car than YOU!

hootjigga

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

tocsa120ls — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:56:23 EST

Simca looks like a Renault 8... or a Dacia 1100... horrific :)

tocsa120ls

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

JantheMan — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:52:29 EST

Two SM and worship Satan will do for me. AMEN!

JantheMan

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Meg2.0T — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 02:11:43 EST

Even if the Simca would have been a decent version (like a Simca Rally 2 or Rally 3 [cars-and-races-of-past.skynetblogs.be]), it has no chance in front of 2 SMs.

Meg2.0T

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

GreenVanMan — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 00:31:01 EST

@Murilee Martin: it would be worth it though.
but with two SMs you get twice the complaints from the wife, but that's cool, because you have a french car and that means you have a mistress.

GreenVanMan

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Number_Six — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:45:00 EST

Citroen SM = death by honey and fire ants. But boyhowdy did I love the Simca in the video.

Number_Six

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Murilee Martin — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:32:19 EST

I must admit I was seriously tempted to bid on the SMs... but getting them from Colorado to California would be like having to eat 100 cockroaches before pulling out all your toenails and dipping your feet in Everclear.

Murilee Martin

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

thatguy01 — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 23:13:40 EST

PCH: everything else

thatguy01

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

wm_de_hooning — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:55:18 EST

Simca: better for record-setting visits to the Louvre.

SM: better than the Louvre. The 1.5 of them up for auction should yield 0.75 of a deeply troubled car.

Perverse advantage: SM.

wm_de_hooning

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

streetpirate — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:55:08 EST

i wonder who the crazy guy bidding on it is?

streetpirate

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

biminitwst — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:50:43 EST

The settling tank metaphor was dy no mite!
The Simca looks like a clone of a Renault R 8 to me.
Even a crazy person like myself would avoid a basket Citroen. Jay Leno, with a full time mechanic and limitless dollars couldn't put that Humpty Dumpty back together again.
The Simca that resembles a Renault only has 12 moving parts, and crystal radio era electronics, so barring terminal rust, it could be made whole again. Why, I dunno.
I voted for the Fiat.

biminitwst

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

oyveh — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:50:17 EST

I've owned a Citroen SM, and you have no idea of the depths of hell you will reach with one... much less two. They get my vote.

oyveh

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Beluga — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:21:28 EST

One of my favorite Spanish songs:

"Para hacer amor es dificil/en un Simca Mil"

Beluga

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Cameron Thirteen — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 22:13:38 EST

Damn! Is there anything The Bandit can't drive into awesome? If only Citroen sold a few of these with a black paint job and a screaming chicken on the hood. Oh, and T-tops. Gotta have those.

Also, that SM sounds and looks badass. Loved how high the car was during the chase.

That said, two busted SMs will definitely make you re-enact the domestic violence part, mostly with yourself. Mostly.

Cameron Thirteen

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Hotrodelectric — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:58:25 EST

Not till we've had a PCH Ultimate Showdown between an SM and a Tatra 603 (or maybe a GS Birotor).
That'll separate the madmen from the lunatics

Dude. GS Birotor, just for the hell of it. Heh- I can see it now: an RO80 as a parts car. Oh- on topic. I'm seriously Citroen 'old school'. Twin SM FTW.

Hotrodelectric

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

mr.chophoppers — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:43:06 EST

Still had to vote for the Simca. I just love 'em so much, if I had a garage I'd have to get it.

mr.chophoppers

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

SLR_BlowerMania — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 21:30:52 EST

Well they say there is a first time for everything.
Well today is the day I'm actually going to vote for a
Citroen. Well done...F'n Frenchies!

SLR_BlowerMania

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

voodoojoo — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:52:32 EST

I love you Simca. I love you I love you I love you. That said, two SMs is absolutely mental.

voodoojoo

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

NovaloadMissesPolar — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:40:53 EST

Yeah, this is unfair. Two Citroens beat almost one of anything else, especially a lowly Simca--even with--all the hyphens--the owner--put in. What is that, a poem by Emily Dickenson?

NovaloadMissesPolar

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Mike the Dog — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 20:33:03 EST

Well, if you go with the SMs, you'll end up with TWO unsellable high maintenance cars for your efforts (and cubic dollars)..

Mike the Dog

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Evil-Jeremy — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:49:00 EST

I still have no idea how the XK-E lost to the citroen the last time.

Evil-Jeremy

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

SCROGGZILLA RAIDS AGAIN!! — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:47:51 EST

Murilee, this is not a fair contest. Now, if the Simca came with a life threatening disease and a multi-year relationship with Brittany Spears, then MAYBE your choices acheive a degree of parity with a pair of SM's.

SCROGGZILLA RAIDS AGAIN!!

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Littlebitsofpaper — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:41:33 EST

SM's - because in theory two of them should give you a better chance at getting one running. Until you factor in that they are both Citroens - which now reduces your chances by 50% ...

Littlebitsofpaper

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

UDMan — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:36:54 EST

This is a trick question right? 2 SM's? This defines Project Car Hell for all eternity.

Off topic, Murilee, I hope you're not going anywhere for a while!

UDMan

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

sos10 — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:26:47 EST

I hate Jalopnik... They already wanted me to buy a Sm, now they make me want to buy 2!

sos10

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

A strolling player, now with 100% more Studebaker! — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:20:06 EST

If only I had that kind of money... I would install these in my car in a second. Assuming of course that those are the stock horns in the film.
[cgi.ebay.com]

A strolling player, now with 100% more Studebaker!

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

slowjoecrow — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:17:46 EST

The SM is the ultimate definition of project car hell.

slowjoecrow

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

A strolling player, now with 100% more Studebaker! — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:14:15 EST

I would KILL. for that HORN.

A strolling player, now with 100% more Studebaker!

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

al_beaton — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:07:43 EST

@Zarba: Not till we've had a PCH Ultimate Showdown between an SM and a Tatra 603 (or maybe a GS Birotor).

That'll separate the madmen from the lunatics.

al_beaton

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

squablow — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 19:02:22 EST

How much do you want to bet that Burt actually was drinking when that was filmed and actually smacked that girl around? I can just see it.

Director "and, ACTION"

Director "Cut, cut. Burt, you're supposed to kiss her, not smack her head against the wall"

Burt "Fuck you, dick. I ain't doin' it again. Now get me another scotch"

Director to writer "Shit. Oh well, rewrite the script so this all makes sense."

Cameraman "Oh shit, now he took off with the car! I'll follow him with the van and film it"

squablow

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

JoeWoodsprite — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:41:24 EST

I'm sure the SM would be more hell, but my overall theory with PCH is that I would actually want the car when it's "done". Even a perfect condition SM is so ugly that I'd have to park it on the street in front of the neighbor's house. You know, the house which has the black F350 extended cab with the 8" lift kit.

At least with the Simca I could drop in a 22R and have some fun.

JoeWoodsprite

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:27:56 EST

I'll take a little S&M in my PCH, please.
The duet of two of these would make you change your religion.

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

lascauxcaveman — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:22:44 EST

Well, the Simca was a Mopar right? So finding parts for it can't be too much harder than sourcing, say, a 1970 Dodge Dart, right? No sweat.

I think the S&M is going to beat just about anything you can come up with anyway.

lascauxcaveman

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

skloon — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:18:56 EST

No contest the S&M wins, I shall use the Black & Decker tools ro restore and enjoy the BDSM experience

skloon

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

evoCS is possibly NSFW — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:13:45 EST

Poor little Simca. Already a joyful bitty package of awesome in it's own right, but the lure and siren song of the two French dominatrix chariots is far too strong a force. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can possibly beat the SM pair. Except maybe a pair of DS's.

evoCS is possibly NSFW

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Acd — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:51:31 EST

If the ridiculously complicated Citroen doesn't get you the Maserati engine will.

Acd

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Bo Darville — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:50:38 EST

I hurt my face trying not to laugh out loud at the toilet analogy. If just reading about it hurts, I can't even imagine actually working on the cars. So, SMs it is.

Bo Darville

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Euromobile — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:42:19 EST

@p161911: Thoughtcrime!

Euromobile

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

brandegee — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:34:10 EST

The innovation by Marquis de Sade may have inspired this Citroen's name, but it is by no means the only wonderful Gallic invention awaiting your discovery!

brandegee

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

arowsell — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:31:17 EST

Goes Like Stink?

arowsell

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

P161911 — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:29:49 EST

Get the SMs and turn them into your own SM-amino, like this one: [www.infoweb.nl]

P161911

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Euromobile — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:28:15 EST

@thunder: Pourquoi?

Euromobile

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Zarba — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:28:10 EST

Can we all agree that any hydropneumatic Citroen wins any PCH poll by default?

I mean, it's not even fair. Like drag-racing your stock Chevette against a LP640.

Zarba

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

thunder — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:26:47 EST

Simca FTW!

thunder

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Schm, lord of Torques! — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:26:04 EST

double dose of French-tacular hell. Not even much of a contest. I pretty much echo what Rust-myenemy said.

Schm, lord of Torques!

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there! — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:25:38 EST

@PatFromGundo: Damn my lazy-ass single finger typing. You beat me to the S+M gag

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there!

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Euromobile — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:25:32 EST

@Rust-MyEnemy: I LOL'd. That's the only logical answer AND COTD right there: "Citroen SM. 'Cos it's fucking mental".

Euromobile

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:24:11 EST

Dean Martin said it best, when co-starring with Burt Reynolds in the Cannonball Run: "S-M All!"

Okay, so the quote in this case was in reference to Sammy Davis Jr's stature, but it could also refer to SMs in any PCH competition!

LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

poxpopulus — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:19:35 EST

Hydropneumatic. Impossible to say it three times fast. SM it is.

poxpopulus

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there! — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:18:32 EST

Get me down in the dungeon for a double helping of S and M.

I need the following in my perverse, painfull, ill-advised, absurd and oh so rewarding personal hell:

Italian engine plumbing and electronics; French bodyshell durability; Mysterious hydropneumatic suspension (with spheres for foxache); ker-ayze left-bank Buck Rogers styling; and the thrill of knowing that nobody, nobody, has the first idea what the hell your car is.

Your neighbours, who have their suspicions already, have just confirmed your insanity.

Like choosing to adopt a Rhino and keep it in the bathroom. Citroen SM.

'cos it's fucking mental.

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there!

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

skyhack — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:18:02 EST

The Road Runner, the Chevy Caprice, the Citroen SM. They all shared Motor Trend's "Kiss of Death", the Car of the Year award.

skyhack

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

P161911 — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:15:54 EST

I think the SMs from Longest Yard were better shape after the chase than either one of these.

P161911

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

PatFromGundo — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:08:46 EST

Hey, is this one of those retardical questions?

S[&]M all the way.

PatFromGundo

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

actionindex — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:05:39 EST

Seriously? Is this even a question? When just one SM beat an E-Type?

actionindex

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

junkman — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:05:26 EST

The more SM's, the more hellish!

junkman

PCH, Force de Frappe Edition: Simca 1000 GLS or Two Citroen SMs?

way_down_east — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 17:05:19 EST

Has to be two SMs - I mean, one is better than two, right? Right?

way_down_east