Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize - Jalopnik Comments

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Number_Six — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 04:07:55 EST

Where the fuck am I and whose piece of shit Tiburon is this? Can I get my cheque now?

Number_Six

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

NovaloadMissesPolar — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 13:19:59 EST

@Novaload: Actually, it would be:

"Please step out of the car, sir."

We ain't assuming it's yourn.

NovaloadMissesPolar

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

NovaloadMissesPolar — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 13:17:20 EST

"Please step out of your car, sir."

"Mfk#@! profiling!"

NovaloadMissesPolar

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 11:14:21 EST

@yellofury: Score another one for the fury of yellowness!

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

yellofury * * * * * — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 23:59:52 EST

here ya go Polar mah boy:
[www.youtube.com]

yellofury * * * * *

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

yellofury * * * * * — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 23:56:18 EST

@DefinitelyNotPOLAR!: golly!!

yellofury * * * * *

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 21:13:54 EST

.
.
Jim Press: Can I get you something?

Evander Holyfield: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!

Jim Press: I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Holyfield posse member: Cutty say 'e can't HANG!

Booth Babe approaches: Oh Mr. Press! I speak jive.

Jim Press: Oh, good.

Jive Booth Babe: He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.

Jim Press: All right. Would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine?

Jive Booth Babe: Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch ya up on da' rebound on da' med side.

Evander Holyfield: What it is, big mama? My mama no raise no dummies. I dug her rap!

Jive Booth Babe: Cut me some slack, Jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don't GET da' help!

Holyfield posse member: Say 'e can't hang, say seven up!

Jive Booth Babe: Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Hmmph!

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

gqby22 — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 20:52:46 EST

Who invited Kurt Loader and Screech?

gqby22

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Deartháir — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 20:30:45 EST

@damnElantra: Perfect. I laughed my ass off.

Deartháir

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 19:46:20 EST

@Mr4Runner: You do the postfather proud.

Matt Hardigree

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mr4Runner — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:19:54 EST

Dude on the left is really freaking me out: No Country for Auto Bloggers

Mr4Runner

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:52:38 EST

Hey Dr.Z, you don't want me to sing like those two white-boys over at GM and Ford, do ya?

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

NovaloadMissesPolar — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:46:48 EST

@first pic--Hope y'all didn't run out of mustard. What is that, the gallon size?

NovaloadMissesPolar

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

NovaloadMissesPolar — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:45:43 EST

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was a Buick. I have to go now--I, I--I have to wash my hair. Yeah, that's it." (*stealth exit*)

NovaloadMissesPolar

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

TexanIdiot25 could use some of that bail out money — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 16:42:23 EST

They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty.....

TexanIdiot25 could use some of that bail out money

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

damnelantra™ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 16:24:19 EST

"man, fuck this"

damnelantra™

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

yellofury * * * * * — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:26:55 EST

Tiger Woods y'all Tiger Woods y'all Tiger Tiger Tiger
Tiger Tiger Woods y'all!!!!......(ok now wheres ma money muthafucker??)

yellofury * * * * *

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

fussychicken — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:04:42 EST

Aww hell naw!!! Who put 2girls1cup on da Navi Screen!

fussychicken

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

General Halfshaftery — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:35:01 EST

"Awww bitch DID NOT just cut me off in Cobo Hall..."

General Halfshaftery

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

jeadly — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:28:34 EST

Evander leans out to demonstrate his signature "drive-by ass kicking" technique.

jeadly

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SebringMGB — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:19:07 EST

"I'm headed over to the firehouse with my moustache if anyone wants to hop in."

SebringMGB

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mr4Runner — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:32:02 EST

Mr4Runner

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Sharpie — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:30:22 EST

At the press conference, even Buick wags had to admit that Tiger Woods' Stunt Double was too tall to be convincing.

Sharpie

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SeanKHotay — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:18:01 EST

@Mr4Runner: Now that's funny!

"Zed's dead!"

(could you call the Riv's color Blueberry?)

SeanKHotay

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SwatLax — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:10:43 EST

For the 10th year, Holyfield visited NAIAS in hopes of finding a car with a flux capacitor that could take him back to June 28, 1997, so that he could save his ear. While the concept Buick Riviera' gull-wing doors got his hopes up, the prize-fighter was ultimately disappointed.

SwatLax

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mr4Runner — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:03:58 EST

Pulp Holyfield

Mr4Runner

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mysterious Utility Bento — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:55:36 EST

Evander: This is the Biggest Damn George Foreman grill I have ever seen!

Mysterious Utility Bento

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Ω ß®ªғғ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:51:49 EST

@pres: HAHAHAHA

Ω ß®ªғғ

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mad_Science — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:49:37 EST

In the future, all Buicks will come with a black chauffeur, like this one!

Mad_Science

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

pres_has something cool after his name too. — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:46:28 EST

Oh skrit, thems snakes in dere!

pres_has something cool after his name too.

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Ω ß®ªғғ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:44:53 EST

Ω ß®ªғғ

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Andrewpetty — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:44:18 EST

@Mr4Runner: Beautiful. Evander is now a shoe-in for Trakker in the live action version of M.A.S.K.

Andrewpetty

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

pres_has something cool after his name too. — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:28:35 EST

@Mr4Runner:

That's just bad...lol!

pres_has something cool after his name too.

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mr4Runner — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:25:57 EST

I really out did myself with this one: No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!

Mr4Runner

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SpeedWagon - Now in Classic view! — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:24:19 EST

"Despite the common misconception that the gull-wing doors are mere stylistic affectations, the design is a very practical one. The advantage is that when properly designed and counterbalanced (for example, the Buick Riviera Concept), they provide clearance for fat headed celebutards."

SpeedWagon - Now in Classic view!

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Rabbi Dave — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:21:42 EST

Top Pic: "I came back to the U.S. to eat this crap?"

Second Pic: "Joe Creditchecker at the NAIAS main offices will not be in charge of the A, B, C, D celebrity credential lists next year. He clearly doesn't know his alphabet."

Rabbi Dave

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

dearyou — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:19:19 EST

@SwatLax: brilliant

dearyou

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SwatLax — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:18:02 EST

In related news, Riddick Bowe was seen trying out a BYD.

SwatLax

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

dearyou — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:17:53 EST

"Racist motherf&*$ers give Kid Rock a ZR1 and put the black man in a Buick. And who the hell is Toby Keith?"

dearyou

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:14:48 EST

@LTDScott: would = "couldn't." Dammit

LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:14:03 EST

Following the success of several remakes of 1980s movies, Evander Holyfield signed on to the new remake of "Hardcastle and McCormick." Unfortunately, producers discovered he would climb in and out of the new "Buick Coyote" and a new Coyote based on a Hummer H2 is being built. Brian Keith unavailable for comment.

LTDScott, Porcubimmer pilot

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SwatLax — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:13:28 EST

Holyfield and Buick - perpetually in the midst of a "Comeback"

SwatLax

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SwatLax — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:09:39 EST

Holyfield reportedly commented that the side window that extends over his head would help him to keep an eye out for any paragliding crazies.

SwatLax

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Sharpie — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:09:16 EST

Boxer? I don't even know her!

Sharpie

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SwatLax — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:04:58 EST

While old for a fighter, the 45-year-old Evander Holyfield is still too young for the AAPR, and was therefore surprised to see Buick was still around.

SwatLax

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Ω ß®ªғғ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:02:02 EST

that should read "anything, right? at the end there

Ω ß®ªғғ

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Ω ß®ªғғ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:01:46 EST

If you can't make fun of everything... Don't make fun of an...

Ω ß®ªғғ

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Sharpie — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:00:42 EST

".....so like I was saying, THIS is what Britney did for the Paparazzi cameras when she was out with Paris Hilton, only she didn't have any underwear on."

Sharpie

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SwatLax — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:57:55 EST

Buick recently reached an agreement with former 'Dancing With The Stars' contestant Evander Holifield to co-brand their new front end with the fighter's "Real Deal Grill."

SwatLax

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Andrewpetty — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:55:28 EST

Beautiful photo Jalopnik. I love how the lines and the composition direct your eyes towards Holyfield's crotch.

Andrewpetty

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Ω ß®ªғғ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:48:02 EST

i ... i have a good one... but it ... it may be too much to post

Ω ß®ªғғ

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

htrodblder — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:47:44 EST

"TELL THAT CANDYASS TIGER WOODS I'M JACKING HIS RIDE"

htrodblder

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

mikedrawcar — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:47:38 EST

@Mr4Runner: i just barely got up from the floor to write this. brilliant.

mikedrawcar

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Ω ß®ªғғ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:46:53 EST

"Good morning Mr. Woods... I am your new chauffeur..."

Ω ß®ªғғ

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

corhou99 — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:45:30 EST

"I can't belive i tried to eat the whole thing"

corhou99

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Ω ß®ªғғ — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:45:12 EST

"it bit mah eer!"

Ω ß®ªғғ

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

pres_has something cool after his name too. — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:43:05 EST

@Mr4Runner:

Oh jeez...I'm goin' to hell: [aycu04.webshots.com]

pres_has something cool after his name too.

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

pres_has something cool after his name too. — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:41:56 EST

@Mr4Runner:

I'm going to hell for this one:

[aycu04.webshots.com]

pres_has something cool after his name too.

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Markstre302 — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:41:09 EST

Hey honey, what's shinier this car or my head?

Markstre302

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

allenparkpete — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:41:01 EST

"I never got molested like this in Tuscany"

allenparkpete

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mr4Runner — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:35:41 EST

@Mr4Runner: OM NOM NOM NOM

Mr4Runner

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

biminitwst — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:33:59 EST

"Is that a firehose, or are you just happy to see me?"
Oh, snap. You meant the second picture, didn't you.
Okay: "I swear I'll beat the living crap out of the first mofo to ding these doors!"

biminitwst

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

jomil91 — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:22:12 EST

hopefully they will hire me to be their spokemen, i mean buik has that black dude right?

jomil91

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SexCpotatoes — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:14:51 EST

30 seconds after exiting the car, security arrested Mr. Holyfield. He was lead away while shouting "That's profilin' motherf*%#&^!"

A shaken spokesman later confessed that "It didn't look like he belonged in that nice of a car, that he even claimed was a Buick! We didn't believe him at all about the car being a GM, so we thought he must be wacky on the meth."

SexCpotatoes

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mr4Runner — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 11:03:01 EST

Regarding Holyfield pic:

1. Open Photoshop.
2. Add teeth to the door and bottom plate.
3. Add "OM NOM NOM NOM" caption.
4. Profit.

Mr4Runner

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

jonnyobrien — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:50:15 EST

"If the Chinese dudes can drive around Detroit, so can Evander 'Check Out My Big Fucking Nuts' Holyfield."

jonnyobrien

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Stoatmaster — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:48:36 EST

Tysonmatic GT just damn ate my right leg.

Stoatmaster

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

acarr260 — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:45:50 EST

Johnny's big day out was shortly ruined by a severed leg minutes after this photo was taken.

acarr260

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

goatrope — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:42:19 EST

In here is the script for my new short movie - called "Two Guys and a Cup"

goatrope

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

BLS — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:41:12 EST

I can't wait to DONK this.

BLS

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

goatrope — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:40:37 EST

I'll have to hang the chrome truck nuts from the rear view mirror.

goatrope

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:40:07 EST

Dr.Z: "I WANT HOLYFIELD!"

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Andrewpetty — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:35:58 EST

Buick demonstrates its simple, albeit expensive, road rage protection system.

Andrewpetty

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:32:59 EST

"Now stay right there Mike..."

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Mr4Runner — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:32:56 EST

Dr Z's AmEx was charged extra for the missing menu.

Mr4Runner

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

cyclopticgaze — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:31:48 EST

I polished my head for THIS?

cyclopticgaze

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Tanshanomi — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:31:14 EST

"I dunno, Hulk told me yellow works better..."

Tanshanomi

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

P161911 — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:29:39 EST

Nope, still not enough room for ALL my kids. Maybe I can find a Checker Aerobus.

P161911

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SpeedWagon - Now in Classic view! — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:28:04 EST

Hope the food was covered with a sleaze-guard.

SpeedWagon - Now in Classic view!

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

SundaySunday — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:21:49 EST

@Chris in KY:
Too Funny! "Hey, Dr. Z. You say you need two tickets for Blue Oyster Cult?"

SundaySunday

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

snep — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:18:31 EST

Check out this grill George Foreman!

snep

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Chris in KY — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:16:38 EST

Hey, wait...Mike Damone was at the Detroit Auto Show?

Chris in KY

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Uncle Bo, averting foreclosure — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:15:59 EST

Whasssssssup??

Uncle Bo, averting foreclosure

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:11:48 EST

Warning: Please keep hair, ears away from closing door.

The Name's Ash78, Housewares

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

pres_has something cool after his name too. — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:10:05 EST

Hey, I found the beer goggles! Suddenly, I find beards very sexy.

pres_has something cool after his name too.

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

Al Navarro — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:08:51 EST

Now where's the paparazzi when I'M flashing my kitten?

Al Navarro

Detroit Auto Show: NAIAS Jalopnik Caption Contest, Now With A Prize

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 10:08:08 EST

Chrysler: Winner by Technical Cop-Out

The Name's Ash78, Housewares