The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions - Jalopnik Comments

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

petersterncan — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 23:29:38 EST

@Bumblebee: Or Mine. "Honey.. pull my finger. I feel some Global Warming coming..."

petersterncan

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 18:09:25 EST

@tbennett017:
I used to LOVE the brand. Then 2 things happened: A) the Cayenne (just the last straw in an increasing spiral of bloat); B) I had a ride, then a drive in a Se7en.

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

hwyengr — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 16:15:32 EST

@tbennett017: I don't hate the Porsche brand, pre-1999. Once the nose was shared between the 911 and Boxster to save a couple of bucks, though, all bets are off.

hwyengr

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

GrandMarquis_de_Sade — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:56:20 EST

I don't really get the Cayenne either... But why is there so much hating on the Porsche brand? Is it some of the blowhards who buy them for reasons beyond driving?

I use my '91 964 C4 as a daily driver, and I love the hell out of it. All weather, (okay... not "offroad") but it does what I need with individuality and verve. It didn't cost me that much..

There seems to be this prevailing impression that it costs a fortune, but it was about half what a pimped up Toyota costs, (its an old car) but it makes me happy...

GrandMarquis_de_Sade

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:18:32 EST

@hwyengr:
Ditto on the kings thing. If I had that much money, I'd be getting all sorts of Ferrarimino custom jobs and not the Cayenne.

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

hwyengr — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 13:45:12 EST

@MagnificentBastard: If I were one of the five richest kings of Europe, I'd still hate the Cayenne.

I may have mentioned it before, but I think of it every time a conversation starts about the modern Porsche. I had a fold-out brochure from an auto show, with the entire 1992 Porsche lineup on it. The caption at the top, "Most car companies have a sportscar in their lineup. Porsche has a lineup of sportscars." The Cayenne is not a sports car.

The original 993 brochure waxed poetic about how the 911 door basically hadn't changed since 1964, since there was nothing wrong with it. That's the Porsche company I want back. It doesn't have anything to do with what I can and cannot afford.

hwyengr

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

TheTooth — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 13:03:13 EST

@MagnificentBastard: Affordability has nothing to do with it. There are plenty of cars I hate that I could buy on a whim. There are also plenty of cars that I love that I will probably never be able to afford.

TheTooth

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:54:45 EST

@MagnificentBastard:
Well, what's the difference in that and heaping loads of praise on a car you can't afford? I don't dislike (hate is too strong a word) the Boxster because I can't afford it.

I dislike it, for well, see above.

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

MagnificentBastard — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:44:33 EST

Its very interesting to see people hate a car they can't afford.

MagnificentBastard

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

TheTooth — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:44:11 EST

The only newer Porsche that appeals to me anymore is the Boxster S. The 911 uses too much technology to keep it on the road and the SUV's don't really count.

TheTooth

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:37:54 EST

@bd_juju:
That is called "trailing throttle oversteer" no? I'm all about character in cars. Cars that will bite your hand > cars that my mom could outdrive me in.

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Picarso — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:32:02 EST

The Cayenne T concept is something that appeals to me. I travel alot, actually go offroad, need a truck I can tow with and like to really drive. I spent about 45 mins flogging a '04 Cayenne Turbo I was considering purchasing last week. I was indifferent about the styling initialy and turned off by all thought of a Porsche SUV like all other sports car nazis but after spending some time with her all I can say is it is an impressive car. The looks start to grow on you like that odd girl down at the Coffee shop with all the tats who makes a perfect cappaccino and I now get what Porsche is up to going with the Swiss Army knife approch. Nothing else save the Touareg V10-TDI has that kind of swagger on and off road. Who cares who the majority of the owners are it is still a great car. I turned it down in the end because after talking to my trusted Porsche mechanic I was turned off buy some common issues that arise with the pre '05 CTs. If it was black I might have just overlooked those quirks. I would quite happily drive the GTS.

Picarso

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Bad Juju — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:31:55 EST

@Al Navarro: I think he may have been referring to the old 911's propensity for leaving the road ass-first..something that still happens to the 996/7 with especially dense drivers. Chalk it up to 'character'

Bad Juju

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:25:45 EST

@hwyengr:
I'm with you on the cost to salary ratio. Why couldn't my mom, who was the only female OB/GYN in our area during the pre-managed care era, have been a Ferrari fan?

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

hwyengr — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 12:17:56 EST

@Al Navarro: Sure, the RS is a fantastic car, but it costs almost 80% more than an already unaffordable (to me) 911.

I'm just more bitter at the world in general. My dad and I are in the same line of work. When he came out of school in 1970, a 911 only cost 73% of his starting salary. When I came out of school in 2002, a 911 cost 253% of my salary.

hwyengr

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:53:50 EST

@sos10 + PatfromGundo:
If you were concerned about crash integrity, you'd throw a cage in the car. Actually, if you were truly worried, you probably wouldn't buy a sports car in the first place.

My other problem with the Boxster and most modern sports cars (which I've also mentioned ad nauseum before) is that most of them are obsolete in a few years. Everything gets replaced with a newer, faster model. And I'm a sucker for upgrading. By going vintage you start with a car that is already obsolete, and sidestep the upgrade/trade-in trap. A nice old 911 will get props even from a GT3 driver, if he/she knows his/her history.

Alas, Pat points out, the old 911s aren't cheap anymore. Gone are the days when you could get a pretty clean T in the teens. An S in the twenties. There was a nice T at $30k near me recently. Sigh.

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

PatFromGundo — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:41:30 EST

@Al Navarro: I'm with you on the long-hood S, but I think you'd be hard pressed to find a "nice" one for 45-large anymore. That will probably get you a good E, though.

PatFromGundo

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

sos10 — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:37:51 EST

@Al Navarro: until you crash... the old Porsches weren't very safe, the were/are deathtraps.
Seriously I dreamed about a vintage Porsche... a good one, for daily driving... they don't come cheap... but after a long period of thinking and research I preferred the Boxster... and I have to say it is so much fun driving this car I have absolutely no regrets.

sos10

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:17:33 EST

@hwyengr:
On the other hand...GT3RS, which is a Porsche even I can get behind.

The issue is the $$ and the weight. I'd much rather spend $45k on a nice 1969-73 S than on an "entry level" Boxster. I've made this point before, that a 69 911s is about 1000 times the car that a new Boxster is in terms of car-junkie appeal. Hairshirt Motoring, y'all!

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

hwyengr — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:08:05 EST

@jakay11: Okay, so Porsche doesn't build the Cayenne and gets bought by GM, Ford, or VW. First order of business with the new suits, "Hey, let's build an SUV!" What exactly is the difference?

As soon as the accountants took over that company from the engineers, they'd might as well have been bought out. At least there'd be an excuse for their actions.

hwyengr

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

TampaRon — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 10:25:47 EST

Please. I'm still recovering from the fact that Porsche built an SUV in the first place.

TampaRon

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

jakay11 — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 08:59:50 EST

@Bento:
Oh, no fair...
granted I'm not in LA, and I bought my first Porsche so I could attend their Driver's Ed events on the race tracks in the US and Canada, and, well, it is a clapped-out 22yr old FRONT-ENGINED, 4-Banger (putting out 520hp), and my wife has been bugging the cr@p out of me to finish the winter maint. so we can hit the first DE of the season... but really!

If someone gave me a Chili pepper, I'd happily use it as a tow vehicle.

If the Pepper means Porsche won't be bought out by GM, Ford, or even less likely now, VW, then sell as many of the buggers as you can Porsche... I'll be happy to watch you racing in LeMans, Sebring, Daytona, Wawtkins Glen, Laguna Seca, Sears Point, Road America, VIR...

And no, I don't see me buying a new, never owned Porsche anytime soon... well maybe a newer to me Porsche so I don't have to share with the wife, and Cayman prices are comin down...

jakay11

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Al Navarro — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 08:33:43 EST

I'll do a further write up on this one soon, but did anyone else find the exhaust note of the white 911 pretty anemic? I did.

I mean, the video linked below cost probably 1/100th of what that Porsche spot cost and I think it sounds better than everything but the Spyder. But that could just be me:

[www.youtube.com]

Oh, hey, while I'm at it...isn't induction noise alot sexier than exhaust noise?

Al Navarro

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

pdxgrease — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 04:41:13 EST

ok ok or GT2

pdxgrease

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

pdxgrease — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 04:39:54 EST

911 turbo. bottom line that is it for me.

pdxgrease

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Madness (Possibly Sparta, maybe baggy trousers.) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 02:47:43 EST

I thought it was pretty neat. I mean I ignored the parts with the Cayenne and in my mind replaced with something much more fitting, so it was neat.

Although, I've got to say when I think Porsche 'wild feral animals' is not the first thought that crosses my mind, it's more along the lines of 'hedgefund' and 'hairgel'.

Madness (Possibly Sparta, maybe baggy trousers.)

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

edgarj — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 02:22:27 EST

A friend of mine just purchased a Cayenne to go with his precious 02 Boxster S. He goes on and on about how well they both handle and the "Porsche expeience" to anyone who will listen while dismissing my PROcede enhanced 335i coupe as if it's a German Cobalt SS. I'm a fool for 996/7 turbos (Vishnu's working on a 996T PROcede too, @~550hp), but I don't see the point of the spending $130K on two cars that offer little more than the "Porsche experience" in sum when compared to a premium GT like the e92 M3 or GT-R that have some space while remaining pure sports cars. . The whole "fast SUV" trend is a mystery to me, as is the attraction to the Porsche line beyond the GT and turbo 911 models, but my friend's happier than a pig in shit with his vehicle choices, so maybe I'm missing something.

edgarj

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

PatFromGundo — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 01:14:05 EST

I want to get a sleeping bag and move into this commercial at the 40 second mark.

PatFromGundo

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

twofourseven — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:49:50 EST

"...creepy dudes that masturbate alone"

and that's in difference to masturbating with other men?

lol

twofourseven

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

racerx — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:47:50 EST

Although I despise this car and how it completely epitomizes Porsche's recent bloat, I drove a tuned (circa 550 bhp) MKI Cayenne turbo last year and by god I fucking loved it. Albeit not in the classical sprightly-handling-and-holy-shit-overste... kind of Porsche way but more in an AMG big-huge-pig-with-infinite-torque... kind of way.

racerx

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Bad Juju — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:40:36 EST

Great commercial, except for the red stationwagon. I thought that guy went up to Inspiration Point to cruise for, um, new friends.

I do have to say though, that one of my finest moments of Porsche-tude was being approached by 2 fellows in a ratty El Camino asking 'whatcyou got in that thing?' Uncorked 5 liter V8's just sound tasty no matter what name is stamped on the valve covers.

Bad Juju

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Number_Six — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 23:24:37 EST

I hate this overweight POS with every fiber of my being. Only if it were soaring through a New Jersey forest with a drunk hick at the tiller would I enjoy this video.

Number_Six

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

DieterX — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 23:13:04 EST

A red Porsche SUV. The only way you can get more poser is if you make it a convertible with white leather. I still think it's made of depleted uranium as there's no other explanation for why such a small car would weigh 5500 pounds.

DieterX

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Ben Wade — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 23:08:37 EST

Masturbation is really only creepy when you're not alone. Also, these are probably new Porsche owners. They'll have better luck with the not being alone thing once they stop shorting the seat warmer every time they put their overpriced, fully-optioned posemobiles in gear.

Ben Wade

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Maymar is convinced M.C. Escher engineered his car — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 22:54:55 EST

@Novaload: If they got rid of the bastard stepchild from the line *cough*SUV!*cough,* they'd have a pretty cool commercial.

Maymar is convinced M.C. Escher engineered his car

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

NovaloadMissesPolar — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 22:40:22 EST

OK, I get it--so one wolf howls and all the others answer. That was fine. They didn't need the Makeout Point part. And it would be funny to reshoot this and have a few ringers in there, like a shrill nasal Honda, a brand new baritone vette, a 70 challenger with glasspacks--basso profundo (boombaboombaboombaboomba)...

NovaloadMissesPolar

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

RoninianHoon — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 21:36:15 EST

Was it trying to pick of a civic? Porches don't go to these kinds of places unless they are up to something...

@DoctorNine: I concur

RoninianHoon

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

smokyburnout — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 21:25:48 EST

get rid of the voiceover at the end, and it's pretty close to a perfect commercial...

smokyburnout

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 21:13:51 EST

I'd still rather have the Touareg with the diesel V10.

DoctorNine makes tires squeal in terror

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

theeastbaykid — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:58:21 EST

@Benson2175: That's a fancy and UGLIER Touareg.

theeastbaykid

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

sos10 — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:40:15 EST

@Bento: Maybe you should stop looking out for these types, as I'm none of those, but drive a Porsche none the less.

sos10

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:35:40 EST

Dragon watching commercial...

"Nope nothin' yet, still noth... oh wait! I'm feelin' a little tingly, oh YEAH, now we're getting somewhere!"

*mumbles*- get a little lube... there we go...

"OH YEAH BABY! Look at that race car! OOOOOOH...."

"Ah, SHIT! I lost it! Looks like I'm going down to the garage... so much for No Substitute!"

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there! — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:27:19 EST

I like that we have both extremes of sexiness on Jalopnik today

Aston Martin DB4 GT Zagato:- Bridget Bardot in her prime, in a provocotive little number which would look great on your floor..

Porsche Cayenne GTS:- Erm, I dunno....Arnie in his dotage in a provocotive little number which would look great if it was much, much bigger.

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there!

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Benson2175 — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:16:40 EST

there's no mistaking the blood line; a fancy Touraeg.

Benson2175

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Mysterious Utility Bento — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 20:06:12 EST

Most of the people I see driving Porsches around L.A. are either Trophy wives/GFs...Old balding fat guys...and creepy dudes who bought a Porsche to try and pick up women so they wouldn't have to masturbate alone anymore!

Mysterious Utility Bento

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

apuesto — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:55:05 EST

Somehow I missed the masturbating alone part. The latter point about the stridulatory communication phenomenon among poshrockets came through pretty clearly, though.

apuesto

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

damnelantra™ — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:52:00 EST

ha, i actually enjoy that ad.

damnelantra™

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:48:04 EST

Oh Porsche-e, your such a special car to me!
How I'd love to lay ya down..
And lick every inch of your bodaay with my tongue!
Porsche-e, you're my sexual fantasy..
How 'bout you and me, get it together and make sweet love!
Cos, nobody can take your place, no way the could match your face
You've got it goin' on in a way so clear, I just wanna buy you a beer
I thought maybe tonight at 7:30 or something I could uh..
Come by and pick you up in the garage...
No Substitute, No Substitute for you, No Substitute! No baby there's..
No Substitute, for you baby, No Substitute for you now!

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

The Porsche Cayenne GTS Will Conceal Your Aural Emissions

Bumblebee — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 19:47:41 EST

Bull. Nothing on earth can conceal my emissions.

Bumblebee