1970 Buick Skylark - Jalopnik Comments

1970 Buick Skylark

tooner — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 23:45:39 EST

Anyone who would let a 1970 buick skylark be subject to this kind of torture otta be shot. Another classic car bieng tortured by one of the many boneheads out there who believe supras, galants, and integras are the hp cars of the future.. sadly mistaken!!!! Too bad they have never been in a big block!! I guess they can't fathom the fact that size really matters!

tooner

1970 Buick Skylark

Brondular — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 03:35:26 EST

And this big fine automobile has a name, and a pedigree. Behold Gargoyle, or Son of Garg; since he is the heir to the original Gargoyle, a '67 Impala who long ago ferried his owner and all his worldly belongings out to the Coast from the Other-Other Coast ( Lake Erie )and even served as his ( first ) wedding limo. Gargoyle was green, as Son of Garg once was. On that wedding day morning long ago, I thought I would do his owner a favor and give Gargoyle a bath before we decorated him. Sticking his head out the bathroom window while shaving, he loudly objected just before the first hoseful hit the car " What do you think you're doing ?! Dirt is the only thing holding that car together ! " . Cars will come and go. The Gargoyle abides.

Brondular

1970 Buick Skylark

FuzzyPlushroom — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 19:54:04 EST

I just love seeing previous weeks' DOTS cars in these.

Know what I love even more? What's left of this car. I'd love to see this, the '70 Impala, and the '71 Satellite duke it out.

FuzzyPlushroom

1970 Buick Skylark

enverhoxha — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 23:23:32 EST

Indeed this car did reside on 46th Avenue in San Francisco and at the time had interesting company in the form of a windsurfing caddy/former 22 passenger airport shuttle bus (with seats removed to make way for boards and sails enough to catch everything from light breeze to typhoon). I understand that a passenger, marveling at the Mexican decor within, was informed that every article of decoration had been observed in an authentic Mexican bus. The passenger, no less awe struck, replied "So there ARE rules". My brother is as talented as they come in devising low cost motor transportation for any purpose, and it may surprise Murilee to know how many of his other creations are lurking about Alameda.

enverhoxha

1970 Buick Skylark

Chesterfielddavenport — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 13:34:57 EST

Oh yeah? Well I happen to know the very charming owner who looks great in a bathrobe and would never abide a blue cloud! I would guess the skylark is a metaphor for his/her having too many interesting things in his/her imagination to bother with consumerism. (I dated someone with a car like this in its day and it was some kinda makeout car!!!) And I suspect some other commenters know the owner as well, but I'm not telling whoooooo...

Chesterfielddavenport

1970 Buick Skylark

TinaChow — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 04:50:46 EST

Apparently Lance Armstrong isn't America's only bicycle themed cancer survivor.

TinaChow

1970 Buick Skylark

TexanIdiot25 could use some of that bail out money — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:14:15 EST

Screw "Save the Enzos", save the American Iron.

But gotta love the bike racks! Kind of silly, considering that trunk could probably swallow a few bikes with their front wheel off.

TexanIdiot25 could use some of that bail out money

1970 Buick Skylark

Gradall — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 16:43:32 EST

Could this be Uncle Buck's evil twins car?

Gradall

1970 Buick Skylark

squablow — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:46:15 EST

That ain't even rusty. Trunklid and a paint job and that baby's ready for cruise night. I'd totally fix it.

squablow

1970 Buick Skylark

AllenK — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:57:03 EST

Why no interior pics? Were you scared to look inside?

AllenK

1970 Buick Skylark

NovaloadMissesPolar — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:39:21 EST

You just KNOW this thing has got a half gone muffler and a blue cloud follows it.
I'm not even convinced that's rattle paint on the back--looks more like it took a missle hit or at the very least had a major fire.

NovaloadMissesPolar

1970 Buick Skylark

kbarrett — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 13:43:49 EST

Freeman:Otherwise, what's the purpose of said trunk-mounted eye-bolt? Inquiring minds want to know!

Something to secure the kryptonite lock to?

kbarrett

1970 Buick Skylark

MajorKong — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:59:49 EST

Not bad, but I still nominate the post-apocalyptic '71 Plymouth Satellite (a.k.a. the Car Without a Face) as the scariest-looking ride ever.

[shivver]

[jalopnik.com]

MajorKong

1970 Buick Skylark

General Halfshaftery — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:28:29 EST

Wow, now that's the purest form of shitbox i ever did see!

General Halfshaftery

1970 Buick Skylark

NICKNICK — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:22:40 EST

own the car; make payments on the bikes.

NICKNICK

1970 Buick Skylark

gticlutchburn — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:59:08 EST

@ash78: no interior shots to see if the ringer is still inside?

gticlutchburn

1970 Buick Skylark

eltonito — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:48:32 EST

@elhigh: If you're over 6'0", I keep meaning to put my Cannondale Jekyll 400 on Craigslist. :)

eltonito

1970 Buick Skylark

FЯeeMan is slowly cЯawling out of the new commenting system — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:41:54 EST

Christine's uglier, meaner, red-headed (don't let the blue rinse fool you) step sister.

FЯeeMan is slowly cЯawling out of the new commenting system

1970 Buick Skylark

FЯeeMan is slowly cЯawling out of the new commenting system — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:41:28 EST

I'm trying to decide if the wheel trays are Yakima or Thule - I'm going with very-old-skool Yaks - the shape is the same as my first set, but by the time I got mine, they were painting them black. Also, the tie down straps look real familiar.

It looks like there's another wheel tray on the roof. I wonder if it's aligned with the eye-bolt on the trunk lid, and gets some sort of temporary spindle to mount the fork to. Otherwise, what's the purpose of said trunk-mounted eye-bolt? Inquiring minds want to know!

@Rust-MyEnemy: I'd walk the kids past that car just to show them what'll come after them if they ever neglect theirs!

FЯeeMan is slowly cЯawling out of the new commenting system

1970 Buick Skylark

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:14:14 EST

@Rust-MyEnemy: Don't worry, Gary's getting ready for his role in the new A-Team movie!

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

1970 Buick Skylark

TurboBrick — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:57:20 EST

God damn, that thing looks like it came from Florida. Those bike racks will sure come in handy if you have to transport anything, because I think this thing has just a giant gaping hole straight to the street underneath that lid.

TurboBrick

1970 Buick Skylark

PaulE — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:57:13 EST

@thunder: Just add a keg tapper through the trunk lid and it's ready for duty as a RAGBRAI sag wagon (yearly summer bike ride/rolling drunkfest across Iowa; www.ragbrai.org). If the trunk floor isn't rotted through, drill a few more holes for extra ice melt drainage.

PaulE

1970 Buick Skylark

Elhigh — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:57:12 EST

I used to ride a Bianchi Cervino rigid MTB in Ktown when there were no Bianchi distributors in the area. Bad wreck = Peugeot front fork = Bianchistein!

I'm getting old and soft now. If I get another bike, I want full suspension.

Elhigh

1970 Buick Skylark

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:56:09 EST

I had to get a tetanus shot just looking at this

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star

1970 Buick Skylark

thunder — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:44:24 EST

No, no, no, no... It's not a "serious bicycle transporter". The term is "sag wagon".

That thing looks like it'd feel more at home in Minne-soada. Probably a transplant.

thunder

1970 Buick Skylark

workingonyourinvoice — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:33:52 EST

@brandegee: Good call. Too bad I'm at work... :-(

workingonyourinvoice

1970 Buick Skylark

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there! — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:28:08 EST

This car owns mean.

If I had kids, I would deliberately walk past this car and cross the road between the nice Volvo and Benz, to avoid the risk of the kids being sucked into its vortex of death, darkness and despair.

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there!

1970 Buick Skylark

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there! — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:24:38 EST

@POLAR: To arrange an inspection, please pull up to drive-thru window #2 and ask for the deputy Restroom Hygeine Operative.

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there!

1970 Buick Skylark

HoubaHouba! — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:01:30 EST

@sliderule: It also keeps the wing up in clean air.

HoubaHouba!

1970 Buick Skylark

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 10:00:15 EST

An ad in a paper the current owner answered in 1986 when he was looking for an investment:

What you all are looking at is The famous Gary Coleman's 1970 Buick Skylark. This Skylark is the coolest car out in the market and you can now have one with a really cool Value if you buy this Famous one. The new owner gets a complimentary autograph from Gary Himself. GOD BLESS!!!(I dunno why I says that) Also custom bike rake and tow ball add on is on the car. This vehicle is gently used and in excellent condition of course.

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

1970 Buick Skylark

clinto — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:56:34 EST

@sliderule:

So you can open the decklid.

clinto

1970 Buick Skylark

sliderule — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:52:20 EST

Can anyone remind me as to why the WING is so high off the rear deck of a Dodge Daytona?

sliderule

1970 Buick Skylark

eltonito — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:50:32 EST

@Teds: Hell, a fake Bianchi (ala the Ocelot) would cost more than this thing is worth! We're talking Free Spirit in terms of car to bike value.

@BustedWheel: It nearly broke apart on the cobblestones of the Champs-Elysees. I think a Belgian rider was injured by a discharged muffler and the car was eventually sidelined when it spun out in the sharp uphill turn at the Plaza de Pyramid.

eltonito

1970 Buick Skylark

sliderule — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:44:37 EST

That's the "Breaking Away" edition Skylark, It came out as a cross promotion to the movie. Go Cutters!

sliderule

1970 Buick Skylark

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:42:09 EST

The best way to train for you VO2max is to sit inside this thing with the windows closed. First one to pass out needs more aerobic conditioning.

The Name's Ash78, Housewares

1970 Buick Skylark

franzouse — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:41:15 EST

Although the owner went through some trouble so the bike could be attached to the trunk, he should also consider making sure the trunk stays attached to the car...
@yellofury:
& you know he drives around in a bathrobe chasing nihilists with Walter

franzouse

1970 Buick Skylark

cyclopticgaze — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:36:23 EST

Strapping some bikes to the back of this thing, loading up, and heading out sounds like damn good times. This guy (gal? even better) has his priorities straight as an arrow.

cyclopticgaze

1970 Buick Skylark

BustedWheel — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:33:26 EST

This was the chase vehicle for the US Team in the Tour de France.

It was an amazing sight to see this bastard climbing the French Alps.

BustedWheel

1970 Buick Skylark

brandegee — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:31:47 EST

Speaking of purloined, it may be time for me to race one around the digital streets of San Fierro.

brandegee

1970 Buick Skylark

HoubaHouba! — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:29:33 EST

The Humongous Rules the Wasteland! Alameda, too.

HoubaHouba!

1970 Buick Skylark

Maymar is convinced M.C. Escher engineered his car — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:28:08 EST

Somehow, that thing is utter perfection. I especially like the rattle can black - it's a nice, threatening touch without going into flat black cliche.

Maymar is convinced M.C. Escher engineered his car

1970 Buick Skylark

Teds — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:28:05 EST

Its definitely ironic that a real bianchi costs significantly more than this car would fetch.

Teds

1970 Buick Skylark

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:16:39 EST

I'd love to see the trailer this thing tows too!

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

1970 Buick Skylark

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:16:26 EST

When I see the name Bianchi, I immediately think of gun holsters. Not bikes.

Though I do know a guy who got a nice Bianchi road bike for $200 from a guy who had obviously purloined it. He pronounced it "buy-AN-chee" and was on meth and/or crack.

The Name's Ash78, Housewares

1970 Buick Skylark

Paul Y. can't think of a better, shorter handle — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:15:40 EST

This Buick is almost half as rusty as most of the non-garage-queen older Detroit cars in these parts.

Of course, it doesn't help that one of the world's largest salt mines is in western NY, so it's cheap, and usually layered on the roads so thick you can feel it under your tires, and the roads get bleached white until July.

I've noticed the same thing about bike-nerds-- they like the machinery, but a car is just a way to get the bike from once place to ride to another.

Paul Y. can't think of a better, shorter handle

1970 Buick Skylark

Uncle Bo, averting foreclosure — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:14:33 EST

Looks just about ready for Mad Max IV.

Uncle Bo, averting foreclosure

1970 Buick Skylark

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:13:48 EST

I'm gonna take a wild guess here and assume the owner invests most of their transportation budget in the Bianchi(s)!?!?

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

1970 Buick Skylark

rockogre — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:12:31 EST

Best.CIA.Stakeout.Car.Ever!

rockogre

1970 Buick Skylark

DΞLUXE — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:12:26 EST

Only one word can describe this mass of oxidized iron and fuel: Boss.

DΞLUXE

1970 Buick Skylark

-chet — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:09:23 EST

Shenanigans.

Those are JATO rocket cannister holders.

-chet

1970 Buick Skylark

FLB — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:08:06 EST

This thing looks like an old fisherman's boat.

FLB

1970 Buick Skylark

yellofury * * * * * — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:07:19 EST

@ash78:
the Dude abides

yellofury * * * * *

1970 Buick Skylark

Come&VetteMe — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:06:37 EST

Look on the bright side, when it rains, you have a portable bath tub.

Come&VetteMe

1970 Buick Skylark

The Name's Ash78, Housewares — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 09:04:08 EST

I wouldn't hold out much hope for the tape deck.

Or the Creedence.

The Name's Ash78, Housewares