<![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn! - Jalopnik Comments]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn! - Jalopnik Comments]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> If that bike was a president, it'd be Bike-raham Lincoln.

pedalfist

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> "Did you hear about ol' Bill down the way, apparently he's one o' those bi-sexuals."

"No, no, he's not a bi-sexual, he's a bike-sexual!"

POLAЯMISSESEVEЯYBODY

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> He must be a cyclo-path.

NovaloadMissesPolar

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Wait a minute...seat tube, down tube, chain stays, head tube...heck even a cross tube...

Maybe there's something to this...

SeanKHotay

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> He went Schwing! for the Schwinn.

ZWECK

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> cue Queen's "Bicycle".

mikedrawcar

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> @HDC: Our spelling skills only slightly inferior to our mad photoshop skillz

Matt Hardigree

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Uh, what's an innertub?

HDC

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Compared to Sandy Wong, this dude must be like a pederast or something. BMXs, dude.

Maymar is convinced M.C. Escher engineered his car

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humor? As the woman in the car says very matter-of-factly: "Well, next time, let's take the bikes please."

NSFW, btw.

[video.google.com]

rgseidl

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> @camp6ell:
But the Schwinn wasn't even 12 years old!

biminitwst

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Old news, well, I suppose it's new news that he's been sentenced.

We've had all the jokes - pedalfile being the best one.

amblito

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> @Hyman Decent: or maybe he had kenny loggins blasting out his tape deck and couldn't hear them knocking

camp6ell

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Even in Scotland, taking a sheep up to your room is frowned on. Maybe his bike had a sheepskin seat cover.

smokeydog001

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Perhaps this is just a misunderstanding. He was out of gear lube and was creating some the only way he knew how...

JayP71

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> @badco-fascism: Bicycle Innuendo!

Gives a new meaning to "riding the bike"

TexanIdiot25 could use some of that bail out money

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> @camp6ell: Well, assuming the claims in the source article are true:

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

He could've maintained his privacy by telling the cleaners not to come in. He didn't, and they were harmed. Perhaps he wanted them to see him in the act.

Hyman Decent

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Schwinn low, sweet chariot ...

rgseidl

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> @Iron-Balls McGinty: Evil Knievel died a long time ago, his body finally caught up with the legend.

eltonito

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> emmm, he was in his own locked room... i'd like to think he was free to do what he wanted with the bike as long as he was causing no harm to others.

camp6ell

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> I have such a haro-on right now.

badco/LoJ

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> This may turn out to be an unforeseen consequence of the increased CAFE standards as more and more dragons are forced into alternative modes of transportation.

wannabewannabe

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> "Look Ma, no pants!"

Garebear

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> If dragons have sex with cars, what kind of creature gets the hots for a bike? Geckos?

Vipper Of Vipp

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> "Hey, you lost your seat!"

FuzzyPlushroom

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> If it was a vintage PK Ripper, I might understand.

Al Navarro

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Sorry to threadjack, and I don't mean that as a bad pun, but uber-hoon Evel Knievel has died.

Iron-Balls McGinty

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> There was "some sort of misunderstanding?"

You mean he thought the bike had consented?

Rust-MyEnemy is stll out there!

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> uhhhhh im speachless
see i cant even type

yellofury * * * * *

]]> <![CDATA[Man Given Probation for Sexing His Bike, Schwinn!]]> Dear dudes,

The penis is for the ladees. Not cars nor bikes.

Thank you much

Dr.Danger, I run the Death Star

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