If you’ve got a nice, fancy Mercedes-Benz SUV, you’ve got to save two parking spots for it. I mean, you just HAVE TO, obviously. And what better way to do that then to make sure you’ve always got a spare crappy beater around, primed and ready to go to take up two spots once you’ve driven off?

I mean, this plan is totally, completely evil, but also brilliant. Sir, I respect your ruthless, calculating logic to preserve your parking spaces.

And I hope someone keys the paint right off both of your cars.

Contact the author at ballaban@jalopnik.com.
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