As you may have seen earlier, I’m at Volkswagen’s elaborate, specially-built RC track, complete with electrically-actuated obstacles and jumps and treadmills and all kinds of bonkers shit. It’s impressive, and, even though I know precisely squat about RC car racing, I’m want to give it a try. So I will!

Unless you have persistent and vivid out-of-body experiences every time you drive, the process of driving a normal car, from the inside, and an RC car, from the outside and above, like how Odin or Ra must watch you drive, are very different experiences.

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I’ve played with RC cars, sure, like any rational, modern human, but I really have no idea what I’m doing. The guys I’ll be driving with here are pros, and know exactly what to do.

So who am I up against? Scott Speed? Tanner Foust? Not quite; it’s Jared Tebo, the world champion pro radio-controlled car racer, and that’s a job so fun it makes mine feel like I work in accounts receivable.

Should be fun, right? And the stakes are so much lower than normal, so, why not try it? What’s the worst that can happen?