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With Prickstine, the Bavarian Ranchero, and so many other twistedly great cars at the Goin' For Broken LeMons, it takes something special to stand out from the crowd... which is exactly what the Cannonball Bandits are doing right now. More »
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When Tiger Woods crashed his Caddy it was revealed GM had been providing the athlete with free cars because of the high prestige involved with having him associated with your company. Not anymore. [USA Today] More »
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Making its way around the Jalopnik HQ today is the link to Break.com's game Tiger Woods Wife Outrun where you help Tiger escape a very angry-looking Ellin by guiding his Escalade through the obstacles. What's your top score? More »
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The second Cadillac Escalade (there's two) loaned to Tiger Woods from GM's marketing fleet was spotted driving up to a Miami hospital by an unidentified younger woman with blond hair behind a second blond woman driven in an ambulance. [NYT] More »
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Tired of the Tiger Woods car crash story? Too bad. We're going to beat it into your head like Elin... right. Anyway, Tiger's GM-owned Cadillac Escalade will be repaired and either returned to duty or auctioned off. More »
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The media frenzy over the Tiger Woods car crash and subsequent personal revelations hasn't ended. This weekend's Saturday Night Live skit added fuel to the fire. It's fodder for bad comedy, so we collected the worst car-related groaners out there. More »
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The Florida Highway Patrol's released detailed photos of Tiger Woods' crashed Cadillac Escalade and despite that story of his heroic wife, two rear windows are suspiciously smashed in. Also, he admitted to...something. That's not going to help things. More »
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Just when we thought the Tiger Woods crash story had finally died down, the Chinese press goes ahead and makes it a thousand times more awesome. This clip shows a computer-generated reenactment of the accident, complete with golf club-swinging wife. More »
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TMZ's now got crash scene photos of Tiger Woods' Cadillac Escalade that seem to contraindicate the initial claim of "backing out" of the driveway and accidentally hitting a tree and fire hydrant. Take a look for yourself below. More »
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Golfer Tiger Woods was "seriously injured" in a car crash after hitting a fire hydrant and a tree in Florida early Friday morning at 2:25 AM. The crash, at low speed, did not deploy the airbags of his Cadillac Escalade. More »
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Like other celebrities, athletes and cars are both appreciated for the their stats, yet the combination of the two doesn't necessarily guarantee a great photo op. Don't believe us? Just check out these ridiculous athletes posing with cars below. More »
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Tiger Woods and GM will part ways after five years, a reported $40 million and a lot of Buick Enclave commercials. The press release from GM goes out if its way to suggest any link to what's happening in Washington, D.C is "purely coincidental" so, you know, feel free to blame Tiger's knees instead. But it's weird to see GM claiming the decision came after a search for "budget efficiencies" yet having nothing to do with the lack-of-federal funding. We do have to admit, Tiger Woods was a valuable acquisition for Buick, letting them appeal to the older, affluent golf-watching demographic and younger, affluent multiracial golf-playing demo simultaneously. GM hasn't announced a replacement, but we hear John Daly will do it for free beer and hot wings. Press release below the jump. More »
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The old man used to go on and on about the glory of Grandpa Loverman's 1953 Buick Roadmaster. It was beautifully styled, possessed a powerful straight-eight, had advanced features like... wait for it... power door-locks! Best of all, it was called the frickin' Roadmaster! Car names don't get better than that. Neither, really, do cars. Today's Buicks on the other hand, in the words of Car Tzar Bob Lutz, are damaged. Even if the new rides (like the Outlook Enclave) do manage to follow in the mighty footsteps of their noble ancestor (they don't), they will still have lousy names. Lucerne is reminiscent of dairy products and LaCrosse is only interesting if you recall Jim Brown's college days when he lettered in lacrosse at Syracuse. I won't ruin it for you, but the NFL great enjoyed chasing rich white guys around with a stick. Even so, Jim Brown would never drive a LaCrosse. However, another dominant American athlete, Tiger Woods, would be happy to. My point? I just hope Mr. Woods is aware what they do with tiger dongs in China. – Jonny Lieberman More »
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Sweet Peet's got a new rant up this week, and in all the hoopla of the LA Auto Show, it's a shame it took us until now to notice it — especially because instead of a rant, it's a positively exuberant love fest for GM's blue-haired brand, Buick. Now I know China is Buick's big market, and the Enclave's some hot stuff — it's certainly a design iteration or two better looking than the Rendezvous (and I'm through with you) and other vehicular nonsense the General's tossed out to represent its "We're Not Oldsmobile" brand during the past few years. (At least since the Turbo Buicks of the 80's.) But you won't see us running a GM PR shot of Tiger "Enclave-Engorged" Woods, "Slick" Rick Wagoner and Buick general manager Steve "Don't Call Me" Shannon with Buick PR man Dave Darovitz's spin-tastic caption underneath it as Sweet Peet does at the bottom of his weekly rant. Our readers demand — and provide — more creativity than that. – Ray Wert More »
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A non-Jalopnik member of the press asked Rabid Rick if instead of merging with Carlos "Hot Daughter" Ghosn's lineup, why doesn't GM simply merge with — and save — FoMoCo? Mr. Wagoner literally answered, "We have enough problems. We will not be saving Ford." The General does sound like it's intent on saving Buick. Brand Manager Steve Shannon reassured the assembled autojourno throngs that Buick will soon "be making real Buicks again." He went on to explain that instead of trying to put a car in every garage, they are going to only make four models. Also, instead of concentrating on rental cars fleet sales, Buick will focus on retail customers. Glad to hear they've at least claiming a focus. More »
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OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! After all of the waiting — all of the "sneak peaks," Tiger Woods photo ops and viral marketing, the Buick Enclave has finally arrived, and we've got the PR pictures — all of them and OMG, we've got them in the gallery below! And we know you're gonna want to see them because if you listen to the "buzz", this CUV could quite possibly be the most amazingest vehicle evah! I mean, once you get past the fact that it's shaped like an over-sized jellybean and that it drives merely "like" a high-end luxury car, only then will you be able to truly appreciate its "interior like a private jet." Fully hyperbolic press release after the jump — and did we mention it features Tiger Woods? – Ray Wert More »
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Thank the lord of motor parts that we've got tipsters like Galvin Wong, a name at an empty and hastily created hotmail e-mail account. Without him, and folks like him, we'd have no way of getting amazing pictures of the tip of the headlight of the new Buick Enclave. That's right, despite finally getting "outed" by the mainstream media this AM, who as an aside, ignored the fact we already dragged them kicking and screaming out of the closet — the Buick marketing team continues their onslaught of attempts at a (dare I even pen the word!) viralgasm over the team's new CUV — the Enclave. Apparently not even a nameless writer at the Detroit News was able to stop the Buick folks from sending e-mails addressed to us from guys like "Mr. Wong." Don't they realize we've been publishing (and making fun of) a full pic of the vehicle for months now that's recevied more unearned media hits than anything viral they've done? So I'd say to Dave Darovitz and the rest of the folks working on the Buick team — it'll take a lot more than some viral marketing to exorcise the demon's of Buick's aged past, and therefore a mental viral picture of our own memories of what has been Buick's key demographic — below the jump. – Ray Wert More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=214279&view=rss&microfeed=true The General's engaged in some lame viral marketing in the past — like when they tried to pretend cars and trucks were flying because of some silly warranty or something. Everyone knows that the cars were flying because of the secret alien-derived technology they and the feds have jointly developed out in the desert sands of Nevada. Right, that's the very same alien-derived technology that brought us the electric car they so conveniently killed. Men in Black, my ass — more like men in Chevy polo shirts. Anyway, they're trying again to build some buzz off of the Tiger Woods / Buick connection with a bit of viral video purporting to be "behind the scenes" footage of the shooting of the commercial for the Enclave CUV. And let's just say, if it worked at all like Buick's non-viral marketing effort, we'll be expecting some really funny entries in the "what tattoo does the meat-head at the end have on his back" contest. Yeah, we totally expect some funny responses to that one. [Hat tip to Ed!] – Ray Wert More »
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Although every entry fought hard for the chance to be Jalopnik's next top caption (soon to be a new Fox reality show), unfortunately, as in Highlander, there can be only one — at least until the sequel. It's therefore now our solemn duty to inform the world, and Buick PR man Dave Darovitz, that he should have used commenter frank williams suggestion as the caption of the above photo. Lucky commenter frank williams will receive a selection of automotive trinkets and baubles, including a Chevy Aveo USB key/pen (256 MB and black ink, baby!) pilfered from one of the General's PR events. Just drop that e-mail to us letting us know where to send it, frank williams. Wait, what's that you say — what was the winning caption? My word, in all of this excitement, we nearly forgot to tell you. His caption was: More »
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Yesterday we asked you to help Buick PR man Dave Darovitz come up with a better caption for the above photo of everyone's favorite "calibanasian" (look it up) and Buick's newest CUV, which y'all seemed to think is trying to be "calibanasian." Although we think you're all winners in our book, we recognize there's a need to pick one caption to rule them all, and as the automotive industry's known to do, we'll pass the buck to you to choose. Why? Because that's the Jalopnik way. More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=201568&view=rss&microfeed=true Buick PR man Dave Darovitz is pushing an event featuring Tiger Woods (we can hardly contain ourselves) and GM's CEO Rick Wagoner (oh god, we've lost it — sorry) right before the LA Auto Show to introduce the production version of Buick's new "luxe" CUV, the Enclave. The e-mail we received included the above picture and the media advisory for the event, along with Dave's suggested caption: More »
]]> http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=201312&view=rss&microfeed=true • And here the cars come down the track — and — the winner is — Tiger Woods! [bangkokpost] More »
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Buick's newest hopeful, the Lucerne — the Swissified replacement for the Le Sabre — will suck up 20% of the GM brand's first-quarter ad budget for 2006, or $9 million, according to AutoWeek. It'll even get an endorsement from Tiger Woods (don't be so impressed, they're paying him). The company is going heavy in an attempt to gain sales traction for the pivotal new model, considering the relatively weak showing of its smaller Lacrosse sibling. Buick has also dropped Aerosmith's "Dream On" from its ads. A new slogan, "Beyond Precision," which experts say promises to boost wiggle room by approximately 18%, will dominate Buick's newest messaging. More »
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