This Rolls-Royce Silver Shadowmino Can Haul Pallets Of Fancy MustardS

This Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow-based pickup is strikingly well executed. Look how great that rear quarter window looks, and how nicely trimmed and finished the bed is. This pickup is so freaking classy it makes me want to crap brie.

The thin-blade chrome bumpers suggest a pre-'76 Silver Shadow I, the first unit-body, modern Rolls-Royce, and I believe still the most-produced model, if you count the later updated Silver Shadow II.

Here's what I'd want to do if I owned this Silver Shadow pickup: I'd get a couple industrial-sized drums of Grey Poupon mustard, a powerful, high capacity pump, and a good length of rubber hose. Then I'd wait.

I'd wait for all those rich sons of bitches in their own Rollers, those smug 1% bastards who habitually decide to tuck into delicate medallions of pork every time the get in the car. The wealthy, privileged, soft-handed pampered sons of scions who somehow always leave without confirming that their cars were adequately stocked with mustard. Who goes for a drive with less than a full complement of mustard?

This Rolls-Royce Silver Shadowmino Can Haul Pallets Of Fancy MustardS

I'll prowl the rich neighborhoods waiting for my mark. They'll come. They'll pull up to a stoplight next to me, and that window will glide down, like it always does.

"Pardon me," they'll say, like they always do, in their refined, private school accents. "Would you have any Grey Poupon?"

I'll smile, broadly and with genuine joy, before responding. "But of course..." as I feed the hose into the window. I'll hit the button on the controller next to me, and feel the satisfying pulse of mustard coursing through the hose.

It's the hands scrabbling at the yellow-coated window that make it all worthwhile.

(Thanks, Nick!)