This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things Like SEATs

Our international readers probably roll their eyes every time we write about a car that doesn't come to the U.S. Usually it's over something like a Dacia Sandero and those of you in countries where it's sold question our affection for it. Well, try living here without a truly simple and dirt cheap hatchback.

Today's object of lust from overseas was the SEAT Leon Cupra 280, something that's really similar to the Volkswagen Golf R we're getting, only way sexier. It's like a Golf that was actually styled with creases and sharp wheels.

The reasons why we're not getting it are understandable. VW has also never marketed SEATs here. Getting an entire market as large as the U.S. to be familiar with a new brand is expensive and time consuming. Then, of course, they have to deal with the jokes. And SEAT comes with a big one.

It's probably people like Arch Duke Maxyenko, Great Job who make the VW Group's marketers say "No way, SEAT" every time. Probably:

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things Like SEATs

Chris Hanson-"Hello, I'm Chris Haaaaaaaaanson. What brought you into this dealership today?"

Person-"I'm, uhm, a, just looking for a car."

CH-"Do you know why I'm here?"

P-"Uh.... no? I'm just looking for a car..."

CH-"Please, have a Seat."

P-"No I was thinking more along the lines of the used Focus..."

CH-"What, you don't like V.A.G.? Just have a Seat."

P-"What?!? No, I'm just thinking about that Focus, it's only a few years old..."

CH-"Did you bring condoms?"

P-"Dude, what the fuck?"

CH-"Exactly, your on To Catch a Buyer, the sales people will be here soon."

P-"OK Fuck this I'm out" (Turns to run, instantly gets tackled by a salesman)

Exactly. Can't take you guys anywhere.

Photo: SEAT