This Is The Greatest '80s TV Show You Didn't Know Existed

Unbeknownst to me, there was a TV show in the '80s called Matt Houston. It's basically a low-rent Magnum P.I. but only much, much better. It also curiously mimics my life.

Thanks to some inadvertent Wikipedia surfing that started with Jason Torchinsky claiming that he runs all of his copy by the ghost of the guy who played Mr. Roper on Three's Company, I came across the show Matt Houston.

This appeals to me because my name is Matt and I come from Houston. Then I read the description and, Oh My God, it's basically me. Here's the description:

Matt Houston stars Lee Horsley as a wealthy mustachioed Texas oilman named Matlock "Matt" Houston who worked as a private investigator in Los Angeles in his abundant free time. The show also stars Pamela Hensley as his lawyer sidekick, C.J., and George Wyner as his continuously frustrated business manager. During the show's third and final season (1984–85), Buddy Ebsen joined the cast as Matt Houston's uncle, Roy Houston.

Most episodes typically involved one of Matt Houston's close friends being murdered or involved in some criminal enterprise, requiring his assistance. Fortunately, C.J. had access to an Apple III computer named "Baby" that contained a remarkable database on virtually all living and deceased persons, allowing her to provide all necessary information.

Now, it debuted a year before I was born but wow is it not eerily similar.

I've only seen the two promos for the show on YouTube but here's what I know:

  • He has a bunch of crazy cars. I have a Merkur.
  • He's from Texas. I'm from Texas. His dad is a wealthy Texas Oilman. My dad is a not-wealthy Texan who sold parts to oil rigs.
  • He fights crime with the help of an Apple II. I fight crime with the help of a MacBook Pro.

Pretty similar, even if it debuted the year before I was born.

Just watch the videos and you'll see him hooning a Zimmer, multiple police cars, a Mercedes SL (basically an XR4Ti), a Jaguar, and another Zimmer.

He also rocks a turtleneck with a Member's Only jacket and a silenced handgun. HOW DO YOU TOP THAT? I just have to learn to grow a 'stache.