Recently, AskReddit asked the ultimate question of a little-understood, massively maligned subculture: "PT Cruiser owners, what tragedy burdened you with your car?" Here are the best of the replies.
This is by no means all of the greatness contained in the Reddit page, so go right here and read through the whole thing. It's not just hilarious, it's deeply informative.
In any case, these are the best responses with permalinks to their original URLs.
The Aztek was discontinued so I went with the next best thing.
When I got my first job my parents were so happy that they offered to help me buy a used car. The PT Cruiser was the cheapest on the lot- but in really good shape. I had it for 8 years- lost it in a flood (Sandy). It was a good car and was an embarrassing car but it was paid off and always reminded me of how kind and happy my parents were when they helped me get it.
to which JackStrapTT replied
Wow. The gods sent an entire hurricane to destroy one PT Cruiser.
My grandma died, and we inherited it.
No one ever buys a PT Cruiser. They are passed down from generation to generation since time began, the family curse that reminds us of our past transgressions
and wilburwalnut concluded:
Past transgressions Cruiser.
My dad picked out a silver PT Cruiser himself. Like, it was actually the car he wanted. One time he legitimately grounded me for calling it a PT Loser.
well, this one burned up in the alley behind my house and melted part of the garage
more pics here http://imgur.com/a/yZKX8
poopshoes saw the reality of the situation:
I like that the pictures show no attempts at putting out the fire. Like the FD showed up and just held people back, "No, no. This is the only way to be sure."
I've seen a couple of PTs in the Cleveland area that have to be some kind of club.
One of them has chrome on:
- Side mirrors
- B Pillars
- Door handles
- License plate bracket
It's painted purple like Barney the Dinosaur.
I want to put it out of its own misery.
True story: My girlfriend talks in her sleep. I'm a light sleeper, so everytime she talks I wake up. She's always in that sort of twilight state where she will say something, I can reply, and she'll answer.
So one night she says "They are horrible, I hate them". I said "What's horrible?" She replied "PT Cruisers", and went back to sleep without saying anything else.
Pull over. Pop Hood. Almost die from the heat and smoke and maybe fire. Now I am no mechanic. Not by a mile. However, I look down, and notice a huge fucking hole in my engine. I mean, like, a real-full on-fucking-hole. Long story short, my thermostat was blown, no way to know, head had been blown, car was way over heating, but no way to really tell because of bad thermostat. The engine got so hot the spark plugs exploded out of the engine. That was the huge hole. Cracked the block too. All the pistons locked. Bad fucking news.
16semesters had perhaps the best story of the whole discussion:
It was a Saturday night. My wife and I were having dinner at a pretty reputable and quality steak house. It was delicious.
Next thing we know we were deep into a billiard tournament. I just wanted to play a game with her, however the "rules" prevented that.
After a couple games I was introduced to a league manager. He told me I qualified for a quarter final. I played and made the semi.
Next thing I know I was playing some dude named Gunner for a spot in the final. He broke, sewered, and I ran out. I was in the final!
Now I'm matched with a veteran pro stick. I ended up beating him.
What do I win? A drill set? I wish, I have some pictures to hang!
A new lawnmower? That will make my lawn look great!
A fucking PT cruiser!
What a waste of my time.
That's just your classic PT Cruiser Hustle.
and captjohnwaters took things to the logical conclusion:
"So how's it gonna work Gunner?"
"We're gonna host a phony billiards tournament, see? And all of yous guys are gonna pretend to be playin'. Then when some sap comes in and wants to just push some balls with his bird, we'll tell 'im he can't. Has to play our tournament, see? And we'll make it look real good. Soon enough that sucker is gonna find himself winnin' the whole deal. And that's when we spring it on him."
"We'll finally be free, Gunner."
(Hat tip to Banovsky!)
Photo Credit: Chrysler