Oh, MotorWeek, you delightful tease. Driving around a delightfully crude yellow UAZ off-roader and telling me that I can probably have one back in 1994? What happened to that 1994?

If only my stupid time machine would actually work and not just electrocute me until my bladder voids all over the velour interior. If only. I could go back and change history, so yellow UAZs were as common in shopping center parking lots as white Camrys are today.

But that's not how history turned out. Oh, and I suppose my time machine does sort of work, in that after I try it I usually wake up a couple hours in the future.

Dammit.