The Fascists In Quebec Just Banned Your Hellaflush Car Yo

Those nogoodniks up in the frozen French north of Quebec just decided to ban your sweet, sweet hellaflush ride, all because stancing it out affects handling and maneuverability in a province with snow nine months out of the year. But we all know that really, it's just The Man trying to keeping you down.

And The Man doesn't even care how much you spent on those rims for your mom's Honda, according to MontrealRacing.com, who first picked it up.

The best part about this whole thing is that the Quebec government, which apparently thinks that hellaflush cars are such a problem that they've issued a directive explaining why the style is prohibited, and how to recognize the stanced menace:

Hellaflush

Le hellaflush est une pratique esthétique réalisée au détriment de la tenue de route et de la maniabilité d'un véhicule. Il s'agit d'une mode qui consiste à :

  • abaisser la suspension d'un véhicule;
  • installer des jantes surdimensionnées et déportées (offset supérieur à celui des jantes originales);
  • monter des pneus trop étroits pour la jante (tire stretching).
Ces modifications, qui affectent la géométrie de la suspension du véhicule, sont généralement observables par la présence d'un carrossage négatif (

negative camber

) exagéré. Voici un tour d'horizon des principales modifications entraînées par le

hellaflush

et les raisons pour lesquelles cette pratique est interdite.

Yes, they actually used the term "hellaflush." In case your French is a bit poor, OppositeLock user Luc.A. kindly translated the first bit into English:

Hellaflush is a practice of cosmetic modifications that comes to the detriment of handling and road holding capabilities which consist of:

  • Lowering the suspension of the vehicle
  • Installing oversized and offset wheels (offset greater than of the stock wheels)
  • Installing tires too narrow for the wheels (tire stretching).

These modifications,that affect the geometry of the vehicles suspension, are generally observed by the presence of exaggerated negative camber. This is an overview of the principals of hellaflush and the reason this practice is prohibited.

The directive goes on to explain that tire manufacturers never intended for their precious rubbery products to be stretched, which would massively compromise their handling characteristics, and how adjusting the camber past the point of practicality makes maneuverability, well, unpractical.

Don't worry if you've got your car looking so, so, good already, and you think you might have to run all the way to Moncton to escape those Big Government nuts in Laval. Right now, the worst that can happen is that a cop can pull you over and send you to get your car inspected, at which point you will be informed that your car did not pass inspection, and if you want it on the road again you'll have to put it back the way it was.

Oh, and your insurance company is legally allowed to refuse to compensate you for a claim, if your car has been modified beyond manufacturer standards.

But hey, long live free Quebec, or something.

Photo credit: ryanmotoNSB