Prepare yourselves, fans of MotorWeek. I'm about to show you the greatest thing you will see all week. Let's take a trip back to 1985 for this comparo between a Ford Mustang GT 5.0, a Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z, and a Pontiac Trans-Am.

This is a tale of leather jackets, absurd mustaches, ancient vehicle technology, horrible Maryland redneck accents ("THREE HUNNER'N TWO CUBIC INCHES"), straight-line speed and extremely questionable handling. It is a tale of American glory. And it will make you want to go out and buy any of these cars for some cheap, disposable speed.

Join us as we look at America's best in 1985. Which one would you pick?

MotorWeek Theater is our showcase of some of our favorite classic reviews from public television's finest motoring program. How does this only have 32,490 views on YouTube? Are we living in communist Russia?

Hat tip to Tyler!