Yes, this is Oldsmobile's idea of a performance car in the early 1990s. I... I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now.

How can you tell this is the "fast" Achieva? Look at those silver accents! That deep chin spoiler! The 184 horsepower engine! The dives under acceleration!

It's crazy how many times this can be called a hot rod, and it's definitely not your father's Oldsmobile. It's the most potent Olds in ages.

Ok, I need to take a nap now.

(Hat Tip to TestDriveJunkie!)