Jalopnik: Wtf

Armless Chinese Man Arrested For Driving With Feet

Ben Wojdyla — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 09:30:00 EST

Zing Shen, 42, a citizen of the People's Republic of China, lost his arms in an industrial accident. But that didn't stop him from driving. It was the police who did that. Authorities arrested the man, who is missing both arms below the elbows, when they spotted him driving his automatic transmission equipped car with his feet. If Zing lived in a less authoritarian country, we'd encourage him to demand the police show him where the law against that is, but considering he'd probably get his feet chopped off for insolence, he's probably better off welcoming his fate with open arms. Err, legs. [AttuWorld]

Google Street View Captures Automotive Improvisation

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:30:00 EDT

If we've learned anything from Google Street View, it's that something is always going on in this crazy country of ours. Whether it's flashers, crashes or shootings, the roving cameras tell us that not everything interesting happens indoors. This is especially true for the automotive enthusiast that lacks a garage, like this fellow here.

We're not 100% sure what is going on in this image, but it looks to us as though this man is the proud owner of both a Ford Focus sedan and an early 1990's Spirit/Acclaim. Given that the Pentastar sedan already has custom rims, we wouldn't be surprised if the gentleman is trying to install aftermarket fog lights and has rigged a way to suspend himself upside down for the installation. But hey, that's just a guess. What do you think is going on here? (h/t Bob)[Google Street View]

Jerrari, When A Ferrari And A Jeep Make A Baby

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 12 May 2008 17:20:00 EDT

When Enzo Ferrari turned down Bill Harrah's request for a 4x4 Ferrari, Harrah did what any wealthy car collector would, thumbed his nose at Maranello and built his own. Taking a 1969 Jeep Wagoneer and mating it with a Ferrari 365 GT, the Jerrari was born. While its original 4.4L V12 is long gone in favor of a far more reliable 350 V8, the weirdly attractive bodywork and handsome interior are still all there. Not only is it in impeccable shape, it's up for auction on eBay.

Yes indeed, one of the two ever built is going against the block and at the moment of writing, fetching a positively reasonable $8,100. Sure there are over six days left before the winner is declared, and it is out in LA so all those red meat loving, SUV driving wackos will be all over it, but still — Ferrari SUV. Cool. [eBay Listing] (Thanks for the tip mtdrv)

Thief Fingered By Canadian Car Forum Still Needs One More

John Krewson — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:14:27 EDT

Take note: You do not mess with the motorheads at Beyond.ca unless you want 46,000 righteously angry, resourceful, and tech-savvy Canadians on the lookout for you. This is especially true if you're an easily recognizable eight-fingered stoner who's too stupid to stash one of the more visible and distinctive cars in Calgary. Before long you'll have an unflattering new nickname and a target on your back that — thanks to Google Maps — is almost literally visible from orbit.

Seems the car thief in question showed up to test-drive Shaun Ironside's car, a right-hand-drive 1991 JDM Skyline GT-R — not exactly a low-profile ride — and never came back. Now it so happens that Ironside, in addition to being a clever enough fellow to get a JDM Skyline into Calgary, was plenty observant enough to notice that the Albertan Einstein in question had only eight fingers, and resourceful enough to post his description on the Beyond.ca forums. After that, it was only a matter of time until his eventual capture, which while merely the dénouement of the epic, is still very satisfying. [Wired, YouTube]

Unidentifiable Rolling Horror Show Has Us Questioning Balinese Sense Of Automotive Judgement

Ben Wojdyla — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 16:45:00 EDT

Here's another one from the "Ow, ow, ow, it burns make it stop" files. Pulled from a site possibly with origins in the former Soviet Socialist Republic, with absolutely no context or information, these pictures have us questioning the sanity of its maker. Talk all you want about "art cars", this is not art, it's evil. What kind of crazy person has six mufflers on their car? Sicko's have them, that's who. Last time we saw six mufflers on a car it was a malaise era Ford with more mufflers than pipe. What makes this even more ridiculous is the pictures appear to be taken in a tropical paradise of some sort. Where do you even get six exhaust pipes in a tropical paradise? UPDATE: It's in Bali. Sorry, we must have been hai. Gratuitous South Pacific reference added at no additional charge.

[Snegopad - Maybe?]

Clarkson Grows Elephant Nose In Net's Craziest Video Ever

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 12:45:00 EDT

We received an email from a friend in which they claimed to have just seen the "craziest video ever on the Internet." Now, forgive us for being skeptical, but that's an extraordinarily bold statement. The Internet is a big place and almost designed from the get-go as an outlet for the wacky and bizarre, once it graduated from being a means to communicate in the aftermath of nuclear Armageddon to a place to display funny pictures of cats and homebrewed celebrity pr0n. And yet, after a half-hour visit to the link, we were rocking back and forth in the corner contemplating what had just been witnessed.

There is simply no way the animated content we viewed was produced without the assistance of extremely illegal substances. The Wachowskis may be pushing the envelope on chemically aided imagination with their remake of Speed Racer, but this takes things to a whole new level. Above is a sample of outtakes we remixed. Pay attention for Jeremy Clarkson's head with an elephantine nose walking on four arms. Shudder. And for more, go to Cyriak

We Know That's The Camaro, But What's The Chevy Over Fritz Henderson's Shoulder?

Ray Wert — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 13:54:42 EDT

The breathless one's gotten what he claims to be a scoop from a PR pic released today from the General's design studio. It shows the terrible trio of "Slick" Rick Wagoner, "Maximum" Bob Lutz, and Fritz "Show Me The Money" Henderson standing in front of what they're claiming is "A full-scale production clay model of the 2009 Chevrolet Camaro" as it "starts to take shape at GM's Warren, Michigan, Design Center, Rear Wheel Drive Performance Studio." But the breathless one's less concerned about the looking-very-similar-to-concept Camaro, and more concerned with what he's saying is on the wall behind little Fritzie. He's of the opinion (via super-secret e-mails with us) this Volt look-a-like:

"...is from GM's Rear Wheel Drive Performance Studio. Plus, the roof of the Volt is chopped. It appears with this mystery Chevy the roof has more of an arch near the c-pillar...Anyway, the grille appears to be larger on this Chevy, plus it looks like the Malibu. Malibu coupe = Chevelle."

We've no idea whether the breathless one who runs a Source of information on the General is the right source here — but check out the full-res pic below and tell us what you think. Could it even be the next El-Cam? – Ray Wert

[Camaro In Clay Close-Up]

Chevelle Spotted? Mystery RWD Chevy Coupe Spotted In GM Released Photo [The GM Source]

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My Name Is Josh Oliver [internal]