It'll Cost You $17,000 To Add A Fire Extinguisher To Your Corvette Z06

A Corvette Z06 is a pretty good deal for what it is, but it's not exactly cheap. It starts at about $80 grand, and as you can imagine, there's some pricey options: racing stripes are $950, a carbon fiber ground effects package is $3995, and a fire extinguisher is as much as a Chevy Cruze. What, what? » 2/23/15 11:17am Monday 11:17am

Guy Covers Road In Water To Blame His Wreck On Black Ice And Not Booze

Brian J. Byers was driving his 2001 BMW while a little loaded, ran a stop sign, and slammed into a guard rail. Luckily, no one was hurt, so he limped the damaged BMW back home. Still drunk. Which may be why he did what he did next: returned to the accident scene to pour water on the road to make it look like the wreck… » 2/16/15 4:20pm 2/16/15 4:20pm

Five Things Nobody Over The Age Of 20 Should Have In Their Car

You're not a kid anymore, really. A car is no longer some novelty that you can barely believe you're allowed to use — it's a tool, it's a passion, it's your freedom — it's a big part of your life. That's why you should get rid of these five things, if, somehow, you still have them in your car. » 2/12/15 10:00pm 2/12/15 10:00pm

This Is The Most Disgusting Car Idea I've Ever Had

I'm guessing if you saw my byline up there, you've already made an instinctive grab for your preferred vomit bucket. That's smart, because what I'd like us to consider today is sort of gross. But it may not be such a terrible idea, if you really think about it. It has to do with advances in growing biological… » 2/03/15 9:55pm 2/03/15 9:55pm

China's Preferred New Car Smell Is Nothing

You know how much you love that heady brew of probably spine-eroding chemicals that makes up new car smell? Sure you do — I've seen you sneaking into dealerships and cramming your face in a glovebox for one good huff. Well, Lincoln found that in China, the new car smell they prefer is... nothing. A stench void.… » 2/02/15 12:15pm 2/02/15 12:15pm

Idiot Shocked Spare Tires Aren't Standard Anymore: #BoycottCadillac

There's a valuable lesson here. No matter how dedicated you are to the cause of I Don't Know Shit About Cars, sometimes it doesn't hurt to know just a little. Alternately, you could go full freakout like Jerry Ascione, and make a big deal out of the fact that you didn't know some cars have been getting rid of spare… » 1/30/15 9:05pm 1/30/15 9:05pm

Why Does Toyota Want To Blow Up The Hoover Dam?

I guess if you're building a car that's, let's face it, boring, one way to advertise that car would be to really crank up the batshit. Like, make ads so full of confusing, improbable horseshit that just maybe you can induce some confused, trance-like state in people so they'll go buy your car. Oh, and maybe suggest… » 1/29/15 3:47pm 1/29/15 3:47pm

Guy With Rod In Head Is Totally Unfazed, Drives To Gas Station For Help

A guy in New Zealand was just sitting in his car, minding his own business, like you do, when three no-goodniks came up and accosted him. He then attempted to drive off, like you do, when he was slammed in the head with an iron bar. Which stayed there. So he did the only logical thing – he drove to a gas station, and… » 1/19/15 11:25am 1/19/15 11:25am

Ten Car Stories They Said Were Too Stupid To Write

I know my life as a Jalopnik writer looks pretty glamorous, what with trips to Detroit and getting ignored by some of the biggest names in motoring, but there's actually a lot of humiliation. Like this list of story ideas our Editor-In-Jerk rejected, and then made me write in mustard on my desk. Here they are: » 1/16/15 5:10pm 1/16/15 5:10pm

Adult Human Actually Thinks School Bus Brake Lights Are Satanic

Robyn Wilkins, an adult human being with functioning eyeballs and the capacity to reason, somehow actually thinks that school buses around the Memphis, TN area have brake lights designed to promote worshipping the devil. Yes, this woman saw a pattern of LEDs that sort of looked like a pentagram, and is now livid. » 1/15/15 9:45am 1/15/15 9:45am