If Squids Ruled Earth, What Would Their Cars Be Like?

It’s a question a child might ask, but not a childish question. Sure, right now, we mammalian primates are calling all the shots here on Earth, but what if things had gone otherwise? We know that cephalopods like Squid and Octopi are really smart — what if they were the dominant life? And, more importantly, what would… » 5/08/15 2:25pm 5/08/15 2:25pm

Every Scam 'Supercar' Company Is Basically This Hilarious Kickstarter

The other day I reported on a brand-new supercar company, Lyons Motor Cars. While it seemed like they were earnest and have put a lot of effort into their plans, the harsh reality is that their car has about as much of a chance of becoming real as does the Annihilator, the "Fully Customizable Dream Car" proposed by a… » 3/27/15 3:21pm 3/27/15 3:21pm

E-Z Pass Has The Most Insanely Comprehensive Vehicle List Ever

If you were a kid with an unusual name, you know the sting of not being able to find your name on those racks of novelty bicycle license plates. I suspect whoever is in charge of the E-Z Pass vehicle list must have felt this exclusion, because it's one of the most insanely comprehensive marque lists I've seen.… » 3/11/15 4:36pm 3/11/15 4:36pm

Things Car Makers Would Say If They Wanted To Be More Like Apple

So, Apple just had their big event thing where they showed off their incredible ability to remove ports from laptops and make some $10,000 wrist walkie-talkies. Apple puts on a good show, and automakers probably paid attention. Which might mean we'll start hearing car companies start saying stuff like this. » 3/10/15 7:30pm 3/10/15 7:30pm

It'll Cost You $17,000 To Add A Fire Extinguisher To Your Corvette Z06

A Corvette Z06 is a pretty good deal for what it is, but it's not exactly cheap. It starts at about $80 grand, and as you can imagine, there's some pricey options: racing stripes are $950, a carbon fiber ground effects package is $3995, and a fire extinguisher is as much as a Chevy Cruze. What, what? » 2/23/15 11:17am 2/23/15 11:17am

Guy Covers Road In Water To Blame His Wreck On Black Ice And Not Booze

Brian J. Byers was driving his 2001 BMW while a little loaded, ran a stop sign, and slammed into a guard rail. Luckily, no one was hurt, so he limped the damaged BMW back home. Still drunk. Which may be why he did what he did next: returned to the accident scene to pour water on the road to make it look like the wreck… » 2/16/15 4:20pm 2/16/15 4:20pm

Five Things Nobody Over The Age Of 20 Should Have In Their Car

You're not a kid anymore, really. A car is no longer some novelty that you can barely believe you're allowed to use — it's a tool, it's a passion, it's your freedom — it's a big part of your life. That's why you should get rid of these five things, if, somehow, you still have them in your car. » 2/12/15 10:00pm 2/12/15 10:00pm

This Is The Most Disgusting Car Idea I've Ever Had

I'm guessing if you saw my byline up there, you've already made an instinctive grab for your preferred vomit bucket. That's smart, because what I'd like us to consider today is sort of gross. But it may not be such a terrible idea, if you really think about it. It has to do with advances in growing biological… » 2/03/15 9:55pm 2/03/15 9:55pm

China's Preferred New Car Smell Is Nothing

You know how much you love that heady brew of probably spine-eroding chemicals that makes up new car smell? Sure you do — I've seen you sneaking into dealerships and cramming your face in a glovebox for one good huff. Well, Lincoln found that in China, the new car smell they prefer is... nothing. A stench void.… » 2/02/15 12:15pm 2/02/15 12:15pm

Idiot Shocked Spare Tires Aren't Standard Anymore: #BoycottCadillac

There's a valuable lesson here. No matter how dedicated you are to the cause of I Don't Know Shit About Cars, sometimes it doesn't hurt to know just a little. Alternately, you could go full freakout like Jerry Ascione, and make a big deal out of the fact that you didn't know some cars have been getting rid of spare… » 1/30/15 9:05pm 1/30/15 9:05pm

Why Does Toyota Want To Blow Up The Hoover Dam?

I guess if you're building a car that's, let's face it, boring, one way to advertise that car would be to really crank up the batshit. Like, make ads so full of confusing, improbable horseshit that just maybe you can induce some confused, trance-like state in people so they'll go buy your car. Oh, and maybe suggest… » 1/29/15 3:47pm 1/29/15 3:47pm