Jalopnik: World's Best Dad

Hit It, Boy! Helmetless, Hopped-Up Power Wheels Hoonage

Murilee Martin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:40:00 EDT

The ATV-assisted Power Wheels hoonage we saw yesterday showed some medium-grade disregard for safety, all right. But how about when you get a younger kid, lose the helmet, and juice up his Power Wheels truck with about ten times the factory power? This boy showcases some serious drifting skills as he lays hard plastic all over his cul-de-sac, ultimately flipping his top-heavy ride. Fortunately, there's a happy ending, without the kid's dome busted on the hard concrete... this time.

World's Best Mom: Buckles Up Case Of Beer Instead Of Toddler

Murilee Martin — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 08:00:00 EST

Floridian Tina Williams had had "a few" drinks, lacked a driver's license, and was seen running a red light and swerving across traffic lanes; she played the "I was running out of gas" attempt-to-get-out-of-DUI card with the arresting officer, with predictable lack of success. So far we're not even talking local news story here, but there's more. What catapulted Ms. Williams into the spotlight for her 15 minutes of unwanted fame was the fact that her 1-year-old was roaming around loose in the back seat, yet a case of Busch was safely buckled up in the shotgun position. You know, priorities! [Smoking Gun]

Hoon Mom Races With Toddler in Car

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 10:15:00 EST

Today's "World's Best Dad" just happens to be a mom, proving that stupidity is not a genetic trait. It all started when two Australian women in their late 20's were popped by an unmarked car racing from traffic light to traffic light in Elizabeth North, Adelaide. No word on whether they were driving modified Holdens or just a pair of Taragos, though it didn't seem to matter to the police when they found the 22-month-old toddler in the back seat.

Police described themselves as "shocked" and "horrified" at the discovery and charged both with speeding and hoon driving. Both cars were also seized and, we're hoping, someone is looking into getting that kid into safer hands. Australia! [News.com.au]

World's Best Dad: Drunk 13-Year-Old Forced To Drive Drunk Dad Home

Murilee Martin — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 08:30:00 EST

So you're sampling the nightlife of bustling Clio, Michigan, and you've taken your 13-year-old son along for a family-bonding-style evening of Long Island Ice Teas chased with Bacardi 151 shots. Well, sure enough, here comes closing time... and you just don't feel up to navigating the ol' truck back home to Flint. What to do? Why, make the kid drive! He had way less to drink than you, right? It's all about safety! But that darn shortcut through the park- which looked like such a promising way to avoid the Clio PD- resulted in a stuck truck, followed by flashing colored lights, stainless-steel bracelets, and a likely future visit from Children's Protective Services. [Associated Press]

World's Best Dad: Kids Repo'ed With Car While Dad Snacks

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 17:00:00 EST

This sort of reminds us of an episode of CHiPs where a kid gets accidentally kidnapped when someone steals a car, except this is much funnier. A Spokane man left his kids locked in his 1996 Ford Explorer momentarily while he ran in for doughnuts, which is a good reason to abandon kids. It apparently takes dad a while to order, because in that time a quick handed repo man was able to tow the car away with the kids inside.

Dad did the right thing by calling the cops right away, which is how he found out that the repo driver also called the police when he realized he'd towed away a couple of tots. So let this be a lesson to all the bad dads out there: if you're afraid your car is going to get repossessed don't leave the kids in it while you get your snack on. [AP via Seattle Times]

Kids Jump From Drunken Dad's Car

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 12:00:00 EST

What do you get when you're so drunk that children start jumping out of you car? Arrested! And you get entered in our informal "world's best dad" competition. John S. Felix of Des Moines, Iowa clearly edges out BMW's Thomas Moser for his thrilling act of child endangerment. The local police noticed something awry when they saw two kids jump out of the driver's side window of Felix's car. The kids flagged down police to let them know that daddy was drunk again. To make matters worse, Dad's girlfriends' kids had apparently already jumped out of the car blocks earlier! Felix denied the charges, but would probably accept this novelty mug if we filled it with Coors Light. [Des Moines Register]