Milwaukee-area financial-services salesman Peter Gilbert racked up 1,001,385 miles on his 1989 Saab 900, a vehicle that has been known to take out deer like it ain't no thang, given that it was designed by the Swedes to withstand moose impacts. In the 17 years he's owned the car, he's crashed into eight of the…

37-year Janesville, WI truck-plant worker David Leeder just plopped down nearly 176k on a Ford GT, noting that it's three times what he paid for his house. The 57-year-old autoworker has obviously reaped the benefits of UAW membership. Interestingly enough, the Janesville plant is owned by General Motors. We somehow…

What? This report's so full of blue mud that formerly green eyes are turning brown. Good on the police in the Wisconson Dells for calling up Chargers over Crown Vics for patrol duty, but what really gets us is this sentence: "The retail version of the Charger maxes out at around 120 mph, said Jason Syens, general…

We swear, there's just something weird in the water up in Wisconsin. I mean, you've got the dong-picture-flyer guy, you've got the Undie Avenger, and now you've got some naked guy running around at 9:45am on a February morning in his bare bottoms and attempting to make like he's Refrigerator Perry by tackling cars. We …

Back in the 1930s, our great uncle Paul would volunteer to babysit our dad and then prop him up in the seat of the Model A and prompt him to shout "Hey, Chicken!" at any passing Betties. Of course, when Grandma and Grandpa found out, there was hell to pay for mischievous Paul Muran, but that's chicken shavings compared…

It's a job we couldn't stomach, that handing out parking tickets business. But Madison, WI meter man Kip Rosenthal takes a humanitarian view of his job, saying, ""It's very positive assisting people gain access to congested and convenient parking areas," he says. "It's a blast watching people overcome negative parking…

Champ Car bids a tearful adieu to the Las Vegas Motor Speedway, saying, "We will continue to research other opportunities for future events in the Las Vegas market that hopefully are a better fit for our business model expectations." But screw all that, because they're replacing the event by coming back Road America!…

Did the authorities in Wisconsin really have to publicize Jeffrey Hein's mugshot? It must be traumatic enough for a woman to come out of the mall and find an unsolicited phallus photo on one's windshield. But then to find out that it was courtesy of this guy? Ugh. We've got the jeeblies just thinking about it, and…

Man, what is it with Wisconsin and the nether regions? First we have a guy placing ladies' undergarments on municipal vehicles in an act of revenge, and now Hartford, WI authorities have apprehended a man who has admitted to placing pictures of his schwanz on women's vehicles parked at malls in Germantown, Hartford…

Carrying on with the "All the Girls We've Loved Before" theme that seems to be running through our posts today, we were reminded while reading this piece of the night we went to go see Pirates of the Carribean with our ex-fianc and our hairstylist. A friend of ours had an unmistakable '69 Charger, and we happened to…

This article's an example of why we aren't newspaper reporters. Written in a stultifingly stiff style that even out-generics the Onion's intentional parodies of such things, the piece from Wisconsin's Lake Country Reporter just hints at the fun that could be had with the story if the poor writer was a blogger instead. …

Sacramento County Sheriff's vehicles have been traditionally white as long as we can remember, boasting a nice, stately gold star logo on the front doors. However, during our last trip to the town where Ahnuld does bidness, we noticed a cruiser with a bad, body-length decal job. Horrible typography, crappy design;…