Woman Uses Floor Jack to Free Drunk Kid From Car

In yet another example of a car pinning someone ejected from their own car (and not wearing a seatbelt again), a drunk Wisconsin teenager was freed from underneath his girlfriend's Mercury Cougar by a local woman and her brother-in-law with a floor jack. The best part of this story, other than the kid surviving, is the … » 4/05/07 6:00pm 4/05/07 6:00pm

Eight Hours for Work, Eight Hours for Rest and a Ford GT in the…

37-year Janesville, WI truck-plant worker David Leeder just plopped down nearly 176k on a Ford GT, noting that it's three times what he paid for his house. The 57-year-old autoworker has obviously reaped the benefits of UAW membership. Interestingly enough, the Janesville plant is owned by General Motors. We somehow… » 6/16/06 3:00pm 6/16/06 3:00pm

The Charger in the Dells: Wisconsin Fuzz Go Mopar

What? This report's so full of blue mud that formerly green eyes are turning brown. Good on the police in the Wisconson Dells for calling up Chargers over Crown Vics for patrol duty, but what really gets us is this sentence: "The retail version of the Charger maxes out at around 120 mph, said Jason Syens, general… » 4/19/06 4:24pm 4/19/06 4:24pm

Kids Say The Darndest Things: Child Rats Out Car Thief

Back in the 1930s, our great uncle Paul would volunteer to babysit our dad and then prop him up in the seat of the Model A and prompt him to shout "Hey, Chicken!" at any passing Betties. Of course, when Grandma and Grandpa found out, there was hell to pay for mischievous Paul Muran, but that's chicken shavings compared… » 12/29/05 5:57pm 12/29/05 5:57pm

The Holistic Meter Man: Would You Like Some Healing With Your Penalty?

It's a job we couldn't stomach, that handing out parking tickets business. But Madison, WI meter man Kip Rosenthal takes a humanitarian view of his job, saying, ""It's very positive assisting people gain access to congested and convenient parking areas," he says. "It's a blast watching people overcome negative parking… » 12/21/05 8:09pm 12/21/05 8:09pm

More On The Wisconsin Genital Photo Placer: We Don't Wanna See This…

Did the authorities in Wisconsin really have to publicize Jeffrey Hein's mugshot? It must be traumatic enough for a woman to come out of the mall and find an unsolicited phallus photo on one's windshield. But then to find out that it was courtesy of this guy? Ugh. We've got the jeeblies just thinking about it, and… » 11/09/05 2:33pm 11/09/05 2:33pm

Wisconsin Genital Photo-Placer Gets Nicked!

Man, what is it with Wisconsin and the nether regions? First we have a guy placing ladies' undergarments on municipal vehicles in an act of revenge, and now Hartford, WI authorities have apprehended a man who has admitted to placing pictures of his schwanz on women's vehicles parked at malls in Germantown, Hartford and … » 10/20/05 5:44pm 10/20/05 5:44pm

Revenge via Undie-Attack: Wisconsin Man Defaces Public Vehicles

Carrying on with the "All the Girls We've Loved Before" theme that seems to be running through our posts today, we were reminded while reading this piece of the night we went to go see Pirates of the Carribean with our ex-fianc and our hairstylist. A friend of ours had an unmistakable '69 Charger, and we happened to spot … » 9/20/05 1:00pm 9/20/05 1:00pm

Do You Really Wanna be a Cop? Wisconsin Kids Busted For Flashing Lights

This article's an example of why we aren't newspaper reporters. Written in a stultifingly stiff style that even out-generics the Onion's intentional parodies of such things, the piece from Wisconsin's Lake Country Reporter just hints at the fun that could be had with the story if the poor writer was a blogger instead.… » 8/26/05 8:39am 8/26/05 8:39am