Motor racing in the 1930s was scary. Now remove the tires, add banked corners and ice, and you get bobsleighing. How scary can that be? Consider: contemporary racing drivers wore no helmets. Unlike bobsleighers.

Pictured is Kalevi Häkkinen, one of the earliest proponents of speed skiing, the fastest non-motorized sport on land. Kalevi himself hit 125 MPH at the 1992 Olympics (at 64 years old), likely much faster than his practice car.

To celebrate winning gold in flamboyant skating, Evan Lysacek is buying a $269,000 Aston Martin DBS. "Aston Martin all the way, baby," he told Yahoo! in the most over-compensating way possible.

Here are members of the U.S. Olympic bobsledding team doing what they do best (not bobsledding): surfing in the back of the boxtruck used to haul sleds up the track in Vancouver. Wait, "bobsled" isn't a trademark, right? [@SteveMesler]

The failure of an electric ice-resurfacing machine (like Kleenex, colloquially known as a Zamboni®©℠™) at the Vancouver Olympics has the builders of actual Zamboni®©℠™ machines seriously freaked the world is going to think their machines aren't awesome. Silly Zamboni®©℠™.

Despite a decades-long letter-writing campaign by Jalopnik, the International Olympic Committee still hasn't included motor-driven sports in the Winter Olympics. That just means we'll have to apply our driving skills to skiing, skating, snowboarding and the bobsled. Here's how.

The three Canadian-made Olympia electric ice-resurfacers that failed miserably last night are being replaced by one good o'l American-made Zamboni. USA! USA! USA!

High speeds, daring passes, and spectacular crashes — it's not NASCAR, it's the Winter Olympics. How is Apolo Ohno like Kyle Busch? Which death-defying speed contests are best viewed while drunk? Jalopnik's Olympics guide is here to help.

The electric Zambonis — part of Canada's attempt at a green Vancouver Olympics — failed multiple times this evening, causing a massive delay in in the middle of the Men's 500-meter speedskating event. Hmm, wethinks it needs more internal combustion!

Until they allow nitro’d Icelandic 4×4’s to compete at the Winter Olympics, speed skiing is the next best thing for petrolheads: straight downhill, 150+ MPH, faster than a man dropping from an airplane.