Jalopnik: Vans

Street-Racing Comcast Morons Leave 3-Year-Old Hospitalized

Travis Hudson — Fri, 16 May 2008 12:41:00 EDT

You know how you have to wait around for hours for a Comcast technician to show up? We've finally found why that is. Two Comcast employees were street-racing their vans around Huntsville, AL. The racing turned less fast-and-furious and more tragic as one van lost control and hit a vehicle that had three-year-old Kayleen Smith inside. The accident left Smith in a coma. Eyewitness reports say the vans were traveling at 75 mph in a 50 mph zone. One van tried to make a right turn and that's when it slammed into a vehicle containing Smith, her older sister and grandmother. The sister and grandmother escaped injury-free.

A Comcast manager gave the default "thoughts and prayers" comment to the media and the Comcast employee refused to comment on the situation. No criminal charges have been filed thus far with an investigation ongoing. [WAFF via CG]

Dream Factory Blow Papa Rider

Mark Arnold — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:40:00 EDT

The other day we showed you some cute little Japanese Kei cars converted to look like vintage American vans. Turns out they were the creation of a company called Dream Factory Blow. They're sort of an American-style surfing-obsessed customizing shop, but since they're in Japan, they work their magic on JDM rides. While stumbling around their non-English website, we found this thing. Apparently, they call it the Papa Rider, but it may not be what you initially think it is.

Now, this may look much like a vintage Dodge van that some stoner accidentally had shipped to the other side of the Pacific. But give it more than a passing glance, and you'll notice that there appears to be a Toyota Hiace van somewhere in there. Our Japanese skills are limited to what gets translated into English by BableFish, so we're not too sure and what the rationale was behind this, but we do know for certain that this thing is totally awesome.
[Dream Factory Blow]

Mercedes-Benz Sprinter Minibuses Are Awesome

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Why are we randomly showing you pictures of European Sprinter vans? Because Mercedes Sprinter Vans are awesome. Bigger and mightier than the standard Sprinter is the Sprinter Minibus line, which offers seating configurations for uses as varied as hospice transport to urban people moving. Our personal favorite is the City 65, seen here in blue and silver. With seating for 13 passengers, it's much classier than your common OMNIBus or E-Series-based van.

Sure, all of those vans are powered by small diesel engines that barely put out more than 110 horsepower. But that's not the point. They're gigantic (as much as 75-feet long), efficient and beautiful. Behold the mighty Sprinter Minibus, yet another in the long list of European models we desire.

[Source: MB]

Lizard Man Returns To Eat Dodge Mini-Vans

Travis Hudson — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:15:00 EST

Twenty years after the South Carolinian monster known as Lizard Man was last heard of, he has returned, but this time to feast on the front end of a very delicious Dodge Mini-Van. In the silence of the night, Lizard Man managed to chew the hell out of the hood, grill and wheel wells. In addition to the poor van (I wonder if the insurance covers monster attacks?) the Lizard Man also attacked a box where some of the owner's 20 cats slept and now the cats are missing. Lizard Man is a reported seven-foot tall beast with green skin and three claws. The mini-van owner, Mr. Rawson, is prepared for the next time Lizard Man attempts to eat his van, and it is with a glock. Hey, an old man fighting a car- and cat-eating human-esque lizard with a glock is normal for the South, right? [WIS10 via BoingBoing]

The A-Team Limo Pities The Fool in the Stretched H2

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:30:00 EST

Our brothers-in-arms over at Gizmodo managed to locate the ever elusive A-Team and their tricked-out van. Like many out there, they've encountered hard times and have had to convert their van to a limousine and cart drunken bachelor parties to strip clubs. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Next thing you know they'll be remaking the show and casting a Taurus X in place of the GMC.

On the other hand, we always thought the A-Team van was missing plasma televisions, a fiber optic lights show, full bar with champagne and beer, strobe lighting effects and an alpine sound system. Surf on over to Gizmodo for the run down and a gallery of images. [Gizmodo]

Tokyo Motor Show: Daihatsu Mud Master-C Concept

Mike Spinelli — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 03:00:00 EDT

Way up on the list of coolest concepts in Tokyo is Daihatsu's Mud Master-C, a decked-out and widened version of the company's Hijet van. It's powered by an inline three-cylinder, 12-valve mud-mastering powerplant. Could jacked-up keivans be the next big thing in Japanese automotive obsessions? Keep an eye out for Jacku Keivan Go! magazine on a Shibuya newsstand near (or far from) you.

15-Passenger Vans Dangerous?

Davey G. Johnson — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:41:42 EST

This has been bandied about a fair amount lately are fifteen-passneger vans rolling deathtraps? Surprisingly, the answer, statistically anyway, is a little iffy. While the ratio between an empty and fully-loaded car rolling is 1:1.2, in a fully-loaded van it jumps to 1:5. The reason? A drastic increase in the vehicle's center of gravity. That said, most people who die in van wrecks tend not to be wearing seatbelts.

To combat the inherent tippiness, most new vans are equipped with electronic stability control. We could also see a trend toward fully-customized large vans with airbrushed murals, lowered suspension and really freakin' long sidepipes that would go a ways toward dropping the COG. Rolling key parties, anyone?

When Used As Directed, Big Passenger Vans Are More Likely To Roll Over [WomanMotorist]

Here, In My Van, I Can Play The Last Tape

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 14 Oct 2005 12:33:05 EDT

While Milo Aukerman and Bill Stevenson were hanging out in their van drinking bonus cups and waiting for no girls to call them in the middle of the night, little did they know that two decades on, van culture would be on the brink of extinction. The San Francisco Chronicle's Peter Hartlaub has crafted a loving ode to vanning; from '70s bong rips to '80s vigilante action with B.A. Baracus, to no-budget punk rock tours.

A few weeks back, we piloted an E-250 back into Austin from Lake Travis with a pile of drunken, sweaty, horny yahoos sitting on coolers in the back, the Texas late-summer night air streamed through the open windows while we wrestled with a bad alignment job as The Eagles of Death Metal blared from the stereo. Does it get more quintessentially American than that? Truckers like to say, "If you have it, it came to you by truck." And that may well be true, and we mean no slight to the Cledus Snows of the world. That said, if it's a good time, for many yeears, it came to you by van. Keep the good times rolling, kids. Support your local vanner.

Once, custom vans ruled the road. What has become of our glorious nation? [SFGate]

Related:
If It's Not a Scottish Custom Van, It's Crap! [Internal]