Unlike most claimer races, in which any schmoe on the premises may claim a car for a specified sum, the fine print of the 24 Hours Of LeMons rulebook states that "At the end of the competition, the organizer—and nobody else, you lazy, better-car-wantin' bastids—may elect to purchase any vehicle from its owner(s) for $500. In other words, don't spend a lot on a cheater, cause if you do, you ain't gonna own it much longer." While Chief Perp Jay Lamm had considered claiming a car in the past (often with much encouragement to do so from the LeMons Supreme Court), he'd always chickened out with some lame excuse like "I have too many damn hoopty-ass cars at my house now, where am I going to fit another one?" Not this time! Since the Paraguayan Benz is essentially unregisterable, the engine will end up in a Model A owned by one of the Assistant Perps, while the rest of the car will likely be traded for a couple of boxes of rusty Alfa Romeo parts.

The good news for Team Diplomatic Immunity is that they went home with two major trophies: the Heroic Fix, for their 8-hour heater-hose replacement, and the coveted I Got Screwed trophy, for having their nice car snatched away from their clutches.

That's right, it really is possible to obtain a great big Benz with a V12 engine, dent-free body, and cherry interior for 500 bucks. Now, some of you may be asking yourselves, "How in the hell could a car that sold new for $130,000 just over a decade ago possibly make it past the LeMons Supreme Court without getting issued so many penalty laps that the judges get carpal tunnel syndrome from writing so many zeros on the inspection sheet?"

We had a hard time believing it ourselves, but here's how it went down: the car was brought into the country by a Paraguayan diplomat (it still has diplomatic plates), and then some hazily-defined event took place that resulted in a drug-smuggling bust and the involvement of police personnel from several nations. After that, the car became permanently radioactive in the eyes of the DMV, with dealer after dealer attempting to wash it clean of its sins and register it for street use. No dice! Finally, all the optimism evaporated and the last dealer washed his hands of the car, selling it for a grand to... the same LeMons team that once ran a Jaguar XJ-S. They sold the driver's seat for 500 bucks, and that was that. The heater works, the roll cage was installed without trashing the beautiful wood-and-leather interior, and we bought the whole story. There's talk that one of the LeMons Perpetrators may get the Chief Perp to claim the car (as is his, and only his, right) so that he can drop the engine in a '27 Ford Tudor. The team members say they don't want to see this car ever again, once the race is done, so things might work out well for all concerned.

What could possibly go wrong? One shudders to imagine the nightmarish assortment of gearboxes, driveshafts, and balance weights necessary to make this Rube Goldberg contraption hold together in the sky, and that's before you even think about how the engines were cooled. We don't worry about practicality with such an incredible exercise in engineering madness, however, and thus the Mixmaster gets our most emphatic Jalopnik Seal-O-Approval™ stamp.
[Wikipedia]

Better known as a bio-fuel favored by Iowan farmers; Ethanol, or E85 in this case, has a higher octane rating (typically 100-105) than traditional pump gas, which allows higher compression ratios and more power. The engine actually makes only 350 HP in its current form, with the 150 necessary to take that figure up to 500 HP coming soon in the form of a turbocharger.

There's no fancy traction or stability control keeping all that power in check, so it's all going to be up to the rider being careful with the throttle and quick with the countersteering. Luckily, the rear track is much narrower than the front, which should work to counteract a quad's naturally tendency to dump riders on their heads, encouraging rear slide over grip. [via Hell For Leather]

The overhead-cam Dino family of engines has been with us since the first version- a 60° V6 displacing 1,984cc- debuted in 1958. Since that time, Ferrari has made the Dino in V6, V8, and V12 versions, with 60° and 65° vee angles, cast iron and aluminum block variations, turbocharged or naturally aspirated, and with single or double overhead camshafts- you name it, they've done it with the Dino. From the Fiat Dino to the Ferrari Enzo and Maserati MC12, the Dino looks to be on a run to challenge such engine lifers as the Toyota R and the small-block Chevrolet in the longevity competition.
[Wikipedia]

It used to be that the only cheap V12 you could find for your Hell Project was the good ol' Jaguar unit. Sure, that's just the ticket for a moderate power upgrade to your Austin-Healey 100, but now the cheap self-service junkyards are filling up with BMW E32s, as owners realize that there's no such thing as a cheap or minor repair for a top-of-the-line 7 series. The North America-market M70 put out 322 horsepower and 361 foot-pounds of torque in the '97 750iL and 850Ci, and it did it with such smoothness that even the most sensitive Ponzi-scheme mastermind wouldn't be irritated.
[Wikipedia]

József Erdősi was an exchange student at the University of Bologna, following in the footsteps of Dante Alighieri and Nicolaus Copernicus. Unlike the millennium-old university’s famous earlier alumni, he was not studying to be a poet or an astronomer: József’s future lay in agricultural engineering. He spent some of his practice time at Lamborghini Trattori, the tractormaking giant founded in post-war Italy by the man who would go on to give Enzo Ferrari bad dreams.

Through the right connections with the right people, József was allowed to transfer for a few weeks to Lamborghini’s other factory—Automobili Lamborghini—in the village of Sant’Agata Bolognese, a hamlet in Emilia-Romagna province between Bologna and Modena. It was here that Ferruccio Lamborghini had founded his sports car manufacture in 1963 to take on Ferrari in neighboring Maranello.

As an engineering student, József spent his days in the brake and engine assembly areas. He was also granted access to the room where Miuras received their scheduled maintenance.

It was not all work and no play for Mr. Erdősi. One day, an enigmatic question came his way about his cardiovascular health. Upon replying in the positive, he found out what it was all about. The young future engineer was about to receive a ride in the fastest road car of its day: a Lamborghini Miura.

“The seat was extremely low. I buckled up with a four-point racing harness. Then, as we rolled out of the factory, the test driver floored it. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. He switched to second gear at 90 MPH, third gear at 125 MPH, fourth at 140 MPH and went all the way to fifth gear at an astonishing 160 MPH,” he recalled in a recent conversation. “A field then approached at great speed. I was bracing myself for the inevitable ride through rows of corn when the driver flicked the wheel and took a corner at an unlikely speed. This went on for another forty minutes.”

By József’s recollections, the test driver he rode with that day had been the racing mechanic for Lorenzo Bandini—Ferrari’s Formula One and sports car driver—until Bandini’s fiery demise at the 1967 Monaco Grand Prix.

An avid photographer, József took a number of pictures on black and white Ilford film. His photos offer a unique glimpse into a nascent Lamborghini factory in its 60s heydays. Four years later, Ferruccio Lamborghini would be gone as the factory’s owner and car manufacturers everywhere would be face to face with the incompatibility of monster V12’s with the 1973 oil crisis.

Lamborghini would survive this all in the coming decades until it came to rest as a subsidiary of a German giant, producing fabulous modern cars in a brand-new Audi-built factory on the same spot.

The Miura production line in all its high-tech 1969 glory.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

Parallel to the Miura was built the four-seater Espada, both Marcello Gandini designs using the same 4-liter Giotto Bizzarrini V12 engine.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

Another shot of the Espada line shows a distinct Espada feature: the huge pane of glass on the rear hatch.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

This is a Miura S in for regular checkup. It had been shipped to Italy from California.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

A Miura being serviced, with the engine cover taken clear off.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

A finished Espada with old-school Italian license plates. In the background, you can see the open door of a Miura, which, when viewed from front, resembles a bull’s horn.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

A Lamborghini V12 engine on the test bench, with twelve polished velocity trumpets capping its Webers.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

Another shot of the V12 in the test chamber.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

This is a complete engine-transmission assembly. You can see from its longitudinal setup that it’s meant for the Espada: in the Miura, the same engine is mounted transversely behind the cabin.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

A Miura stripped down to the bare chassis as it is being serviced. For the sake of everyday usability, the velocity trumpets are replaced with common air boxes.

Photo Credit: József Erdősi

Audi has won every race at La Sarthe since 1999, the sole exception being the 2003 event—which wasn’t really an exception at all, as the winning Bentley Speed 8 was nothing but Audi’s all-conquering R8 with a roof and a can of British Racing Green paint.

After retiring the R8, Audi returned in 2006 with the R10, the first modern diesel-engined endurance racecar, powered by a V12 TDI engine, which duly took victory at its first outing at Le Mans.

In 2007, Peugeot stepped up to the plate with a similar design, the 908 HDi FAP, which came in second on its inaugural race, retained this position for 2008, then roared back for a 1–2 finish this Sunday against Audi’s all-new R15. This marks Peugeot’s third win at their home race, after the Peugeot 905’s back-to-back wins in 1992 and 1993.

A Porsche RS Spyder entered by Team Essex/Poulsen Motorsport took the LMP2 class. The Corvettes marked their last race before retirement with a fifth class win in GT1, while in GT2 it was all Ferrari, with the top spot going to Risi Competizione’s F430.

Presented here are the best photos from the race.

The Corvette Racing C.6R of Jan Magnussen of Denmark, Johnny O'Connell of the United States of America and Antonio Garcia of Spain drives during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 15, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

Ferrari F430's head through the Dunlop Chicane during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

Jan Magnussen (L) of Denmark and Team Corvette Racing and Nicolas Lapierre of France and Team Matmut drive down the Mulsanne Straight during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

Nicolas Minassian of France drives the Team Peugeot Total 908 HDi FAP car down the Mulsanne Straight during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

An Audi R15 heads down to Indianapolis corner during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

The Peugeot Sport Total 908 HDi FAP of Alex Wurz of Austria, David Brabham of Great Britain and Marc Gene of Spain drives during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

Dindo Capello of Italy drives the Audi Sport Team Joest R15 during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

The Team RML Lola Mazda of Tommy Erdos, Mike Newton and Chris Dyson drives during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

Johnny Kane of Ireland drives the Speedy Racing Team Sebah Lola during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

Jan Magnussen of Denmark and Corvette Racing drives during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

Cars go through Indianapolis corner during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

Cars head towards Terte Rouge during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 14, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

A Kolles Audi R10 drives at sunrise during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 14, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

The Aston Martin Racing Lola of Stuart Hall, Harold Primat and Peter Kox comes in for a pitstop during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 14, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

The Aston Martin Racing Lola of Jan Charouz of the Czech Republic, Stefan Mucke of Germany and Tomas Enge of the Czech Republic drives during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 14, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Ker Robertson/Getty Images

Pedro Lamy of Portugal and Team Peugeot suffers rear left hand damage after a collision in the pitlane during the 77th running of the Le Mans 24 Hour race at the Circuit des 24 Heures du Mans on June 13, 2009 in Le Mans, France.

Photo Credit: Bryn Lennon/Getty Images

We can only describe the noises coming out of the DBS-sourced V12 as pure, dirty, unadulterated sex causing us to search for the nearest red light district. If you're anything like Andy Samberg, you might want to watch this one in the privacy of your own home. [via YouTube]

Making its quasi-production reveal in Geneva earlier this year, the actual production 2010 Aston Martin V12 Vantage features exposed carbon fiber hood vents, instead of the painted ones seen earlier, that match nicely with the carbon fiber front lip spoiler, rear diffuser and various interior bits. Initially based on the V12 Vantage RS Concept, which itself was based on the V8 Vantage, the 2010 V12 Vantage provides stout acceleration via a DBS-sourced 510-horsepower, 420 lb-ft of torque, 6.0-liter V12. 0-60 is reached before you can finish reading this sentence, or 4.2 seconds, and a license-revoking 190 mph top speed is standard. Created to celebrate Aston Martin's 95-year history, we can only wonder what mad beast they're working on for their centennial.

[via Driver's Republic, Aston Martin]

To appreciate the full spectrum of the XKSS’s lunacy, consider these seven easy steps you’d have to take to create a contemporary equivalent:

1. Acquire last year’s Le Mans winner: the Audi R10
2. Fit passenger door and seat
3. Fit rudimentary canvas top
4. Install windshield
5. Remove giant rear wing
6. Replace headlight assembly
7. Add a bit of chrome

And you’re done! Notice how it’s remained a race car with a featherweight carbon fiber body and a 700 HP V12 turbodiesel.

But the engine in the XKSS was not a turbodiesel. It was a gasoline-fueled straight six with triple Webers, good for 250 HP, brain-meltingly loud at 6,000 RPM and also very pretty. In a very British way.

It was not only the engine which made the D-Type such a monster at Le Mans. The body was an aluminum monocoque, carried over from aircraft manufacturing. Very advanced for its day of body-on-frame and superleggera designs, with an aerodynamically shaped underbody for low drag. And, of course, that giant asymmetrical fin behind the driver’s seat, good for stabilizing the car when you were screaming down the Mulsanne Straight at 180 MPH.

The D-Type won at Le Mans three times in a row. Fifty years after its last victory in 1957, I was wandering about the parking lot at Le Mans, waiting for the 2007 race to begin, when I spotted one. It had apparently been driven to the race on the public road. Armed with a brochure which depicted Mike Hawthorn—the man who drove the D-Type to its first victory here—I reunited car and driver.

Human biology would have allowed for such a reunion without my help, as Hawthorn would only have been a springly 78 on this cold, damp June day. But he had already been dead since 1959, having crashed his souped-up Mk1 Jaguar into a tree. Four years after eighty people died at the very Le Mans race he won. Two years after nine of the planned 25 XKSS’s were destroyed in a factory fire, resulting in the 16 examples ever made of the car.

Perhaps this is why D-Types are so downright frightening in person. They carry their grim history like a personal thundercloud tied to that massive shark fin of theirs.

Photo Credit: John Dominis/Life (McQueen in XKSS, click to download in 3200×2372!), Balázs Fenyő (Jaguar XK engine) and the author (D-Type at Le Mans in 2007)

There is no way to get used to the size of Ferrari’s 612 Scaglietti. While most Ferraris—indeed, most supercars—tend to be larger in life than imagined, the Scag is a monster. Longer than a Mercedes-Benz E-Class and wider than an S-Class, it is the size and shape of a ballistic missile, especially in dark gray.

The size is a direct consequence of the car’s dual functions of high-speed handling and four-person capacity. Inside are four bucket seats intended to carry in comfort four actual people with eight lower extremities. This is unlike most 2+2’s where the comfortable ratio of humans and legs tends to be an unevenly distributed one to one. And while—unlike the Espada’s very comfortable rear seats—I have never had the opportunity to actually sit in a 612, those who have describe the rear seats as up to the task.

The other factor in the 612’s immense length is the engine, which is mid-mounted. But unlike with the traditional mid-engined layout—where the engine is between the cabin and the rear axle—the Scag’s 5.7-liter V12 sits low behind the front axle, similar to the supercharged V8 in the Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. And like the SLR, the 612 has a nose—or substitute your favorite metaphor based on human anatomy—any self-respecting Frenchman would be proud of.

Mounting an engine midships is done to reduce weight in a car’s extremities, lowering its moment of inertia. This comes in handy when you take a corner fast, so I called Nino Karotta, the only person I know who has actually driven a 612 Scaglietti (if you’ll remember, Nino was the guy who showed us how to become a Formula One driver in one day).

The 612 he drove was in an environment rather alien to a leviathan GT—the Hungaroring, a racetrack in a dusty valley on the outskirts of Budapest, home to the Hungarian Grand Prix. He described the experience as similar to what happens when you take any very powerful but heavy car to a track. That while it’s very fast, capable of huge powerslides and much better composed than, say, a large V12 Benz, it is ultimately too soft and too heavy for proper track work. Unlike, he said, the Ferrari 599 GTB, which he drove on the same day and described as a sharp, violent track animal.

We had better find a more suitable environment for the 612 then. And remember: we’re looking for family use here. So let’s head to Regent’s Park, 487 acres of Central London flanked by white stucco houses where rich people live and exercise.

While Central London is perhaps not the perfect location to strecth a 550 HP grand tourer’s legs, nothing beats it when it comes to arriving home. The car is understated, elegant, majestic, no Italian waving of hands apparent in its flowing lines, inspired by a one-off Ferrari 375 MM its namesake Sergio Scaglietti created in 1954 for Italian neorealist film director Roberto Rossellini’s wife Ingrid Bergman.

An elderly couple then arrive in a Citroën C3—this is a very small French car—and maneuver into the space in front of the Ferrari.

They turn out to be the parents of the Ferrari’s owner, a dapper man who has by this time emerged from his house. My mate Máté and I are soon in the midst of a family cavalcade, admiring the lovely Ferrari.

Also in tow is a young girl, Orelia by name, who climbs down from her grandmother’s neck. This is it then: a real, live kid who actually rides in the back of a Ferrari! Our conversation as I remember it:

“Hi Orelia, my name is Peter.”

“Hi Peter.”

“So how is it riding in a Ferrari’s back seats?”

“It’s great. I sit there with my two sisters.”

Roominess? Check!

“And when you go for a ride, do you go real fast?”

Substituting for words, she offers a huge, jubilant nod. We wave our goodbyes. A few steps later, her father reaches down to pick a white strand of thread out of the Pininfarina logo on the left fender.

Gentlemen, a Jalopnik midlife plan is emerging here. Make a quarter million bucks, get a Scaglietti and a fine woman, sire children, then transport them in style and at speed.

And if you have dogs (or elephant guns), go get that Maserati Quattroporte wagon.

Photo Credit: Balázs Fenyő (Ferrari 599 GTB), Máté Petrány and the author (612 Scaglietti)

But a Ferrari in chestnut brown?

As far as I recall, these were my first words when I heard the news that Steve McQueen’s first Ferrari, chassis number 4891GT, was set to go on the auction block. While far from being a rosso corsa purist and nurturer of a great soft spot for midnight blue 612 Scagliettis, brown sounded all wrong for a Ferrari. Think brown and what’s the first thing that comes to mind? A UPS truck, no great friend of high-strung V12’s.

Little did I know that two years later, I would be looking at McQueen’s Lusso beneath the namesake for its paintjob—a chestnut tree—and realize that in person, it’s shockingly beautiful.

Not that it hails from a particularly hideous age of car design. Modena in the early Sixties was a proper Golden Age. The Lusso was the last act in Ferrari’s first great play, the 250, a ten-year-old construction by the time they introduced the Lusso in 1962. Since the first prototype had been tested in 1952, 250’s won everything there was to be won in road racing, to transcend mere cars and become the sort of objects car geeks approach with a visible trembling of the knee.

Most 250’s are beautiful but the Lusso—Italian for luxurious luxury—stands out even in that crowd. As the name suggests, it was designed by Pininfarina as a grand tourer, with an eye on stylish, high-speed motoring as opposed to racing. There is ample luggage space behind the two seats swathed in beige leather, and the engine is set forward to allow for more legroom.

Beneath the aluminum and steel skin however, it’s a pure racer. The Lusso’s Borrani racing wheels, disc brakes, suspension and all-aluminum engine come from none other car than the 250 GTO. And the Lusso itself was more than suitable for racing: at 2,200 pounds, it weighed little more than a Miata and was in turn powered by the last version of the 3-liter V12 used in all 250’s, sucking air through three twin Webers to produce around 250 HP.

But forget all that. Though lovely numbers the Lusso has, they are not what make it interesting. What does is that the Lusso and its contemporaries—like the 250 GTO, the Breadvan or the Miura—stand out as the first generation of supercars to which we can relate to as proper cars. Pre-war Bugattis and Alfas are awesome, but they look way too fragile and old to be appreciated as actual cars as opposed to very nice objects on wheels.

Look at a Lusso instead and what you will feel is pure petrolhead lust. To fire up that V12, to motor out of wherever it’s parked, and to shove the go pedal right through the floor.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Steve McQueen drove it like that. Back in the 60s, when roads were sparsely populated, gas was ultra-cheap, and people knew how to party in style.

It almost makes you forget that these cars had live rear axles. Like Mustangs!

Photo Credit: Natalie Polgar and the author. Note: unfortunately, the owner of the Lusso was not around to pop the hood for us. The engine you see in the gallery is that of a Ferrari 250 GT SWB, very similar to the Lusso’s.

Sure, it's not a two-wheeled motorcycle, but on the scale of ridiculous things, the trike does pull off the insanity of a 5.3 liter V12 engine swap with a certain style, especially in it's earlier, more raw, red incarnation. Maybe it's the fat tires, those hot rod-style aluminum tank and those lusty chrome pipes.

Jagged Edge on the other hand is a just pushes the limits of reason. Sporting the same Jag V12 as the trike, it's been twin turbocharged and dropped into a modified Kawasaki GPZ1100 chassis with a hard tail rear. Certifiably insane would be one way to describe it.

So here we are, which of these two murderous hot rod cycles tickles your fancy? Vote for your favorite and let us know why.
(Thanks for the eBay tip John)

[eBay Listing, Custom Mettle]

Yes, I know this will make many of you here hate me, but I must say it — I have never been a fan of the station wagon. Yes, I do see the point — you can fit loads of kids, dogs or elephant guns in the back but then I’ve never thought of the car as a thing to transport kids, dogs or elephant guns. You need a sedan to be grownup cool or a coupé to be rock and roll cool, and that’s about it.

Except that station wagons are now called estates or avants or sportbacks and in recent years, I have come across a few which have rather struck my fancy. The Alfa Romeo 156 GTA Sportwagon, for instance. The Dodge Magnum. In SRT8 trim, of course.

I know people who love estates like motor oil loves to get under fingernails. In fact, two of my friends are planning on converting a Volkswagen Phaeton into one. Google Translate will help you right along with their project briefing—in Hungarian—a quick auto-translated snippet of which reads:

And when they physically exist, the preparation will be tangible things considered, we are bound to a common central images of creative images, crept kombikészítéshez.

Imagine my shock now when, certainly not a man of creative images, crept kombikészítéshez, we arrived at the Villa d’Este last week and the first thing I saw after a BMW 750i dropped us off was a Maserati Quattroporte. A Quattroporte estate, that is.

Flabbergasted I stood, mostly as a result of the intense craving I felt at its lovely butch lines. Although I still consider the Lamborghini Espada the perfect family car, the youngest of them will be approaching thirty-five by the time I acquire one—and kids to carry in it. And thirty-five-year-old handbuilt Italian cars are not as much vehicles for transportation but more vehicles that make for very stylish and very static object by the side of the road as you stand puzzled over their V12’s spewing oil. I am, of course, not making this up:

So this is it then. The Maserati Quattroporte Bellagio Fastback Touring, to finally call it by its ornate full name, with a beckoning slope to its roof. Built by Carrozzeria Touring—the people who invented superleggera in the 30s—, it was first shown at last year’s edition of the Concorso d’Eleganza, an event to which it has now returned unannounced, parked by a gift shop that sells swooningly expensive silk scarves.

A car that has a Ferrari engine up front, acres of leather in the middle, and kids, dogs or elephant rifles in the back. All in a package that’s got the Quattroporte’s irresistable swagger—with a locomotive of a rear end.

Be alert not to carry kids, dogs and elephant guns at the same time though. That would be unwise.

If you are now itching to spend that money which was supposed to finance your kid’s higher education, may I refer you to a PDF at Carrozzeria Touring’s website, which reads in part as follows:

Those interested in buying a Bellagio Fastback Touring must address to Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera or to Rossocorsa, the Milan Maserati dealer. After the delivery of a Maserati Quattroporte saloon (any version) the work starts and is realized together with the client, who’ll be involved in any choice: a unique and fascinating experience, almost impossible to imagine, in the era of mass production also for extreme cars.

There you have it. And one more thing: just as we were about to leave the Villa d’Este, I stumbled into the Bellagio once again, tucked into a corner in an underground parking lot. I tried to take a nice picture of it but this thing in red kept creeping into the frame.

My sincerest apologies.

Photos by the author expect the picture of the broken down Lamborghini Espada, which is by Balázs Fenyő.

On a lovely autumn day in 2006, I folded myself out of the back seat of my friend Larry’s Lamborghini Espada and had a revelation: I have just found the perfect family car.

Orosz, get your head out of the mushrooms, you might be thinking, the Espada is a 40-year-old Italian rustbucket, but see, it all makes sense. The car is Marcello Gandini’s trickiest design—the svelte coupé profile obscures two flawless, roomy back seats, either of which will accommodate my 6'2" frame with ease. Fitting a child seat in there would be a walk in the park.

The Espada also makes a very pleasing noise, is not very expensive at around $40,000 for a driveable example and most importantly, it comes with a cubic mile of style. Based on my rudimentary knowledge of developmental neurophysiology, a child exposed to such a stylish means of transport in her formative years will develop impeccable taste. And a sense for the benefit of extreme speeds.

To test my theory, I went for a stroll in Knightsbridge, London’s perhaps poshest neighborhood. Specifically, the streets around the famous department store Harrods, where the local ultra-rich do their weekend shopping.

Ferrari 456

The first car I ran into that fit the bill was a midnight blue Ferrari 456. This is very similar to the Espada in that there is a V12 up front, two doors on the sides and four seats on the inside. Ferrari introduced it in 1992 as the replacement for that eyesore 400 and made around 3000 of them until the 612 Scaglietti took the stage as Ferrari’s resident leviathan.

It’s a beautiful, compact car, and in spite of the fact that the good people of Knightsbridge receive ultra-high doses of supercar every single day, it still drew looks. The inside is your typical all-leather Ferrari affair—but it showed no signs of occupation by minors. Little wonder: the rear seating area is way less voluminous than that of the Espada. You would need to have kids with very short limbs to feel comfortable back there.

The Knightsbridge crowd thought the same: a couple stopped by to consider it as perhaps their next family ride, but upon seeing the interior, they promptly walked off.

Ferrari 599 GTB

Of course unless you have twins or more than one child, you won’t need a four-seater right away, and if you live in Knightsbridge, your spouse probably has her own supercar. What you need is a grand tourer. And show me a grander tourer than the Ferrari 599 GTB.

It was parked in front of the World’s Easternmost Krispy Kreme Franchise: a favorite haunt for those who have gotten hooked on this wonderful Southern suspension of fat and sugar, yours truly amongst them.

And here, in the tantalizing cloud of frying donuts, my theory was proven. In the passenger seat of the Ferrari was installed a child seat! Pardon the lack of a polarizing filter:

Unlike the Espada, the 599 is definitely not a reasonable choice. You will be charged a quarter million dollars to own this rocketship with its archways of aerodynamics. But consider: putting your child through a good college and graduate school runs up a tab very much in that neighborhood—and there’s no guarantee that she’ll have a happy and productive time.

Alternatively, you can spend that money on a 599. Her hearing will develop in a vat of high-strung V12 engine noise. Her sense of balance will be trained by the sudden instances of acceleration and deceleration produced by the 611 horses up mid-front and the humongous carbon ceramic brakes in the corners. She will smell gasoline and premium leather. All in all, the perfect way to nudge her central nervous system in the right direction.

As I was considering all this, the smell of Krispy Kremes became overpowering. I followed my zombified brain inside and introduced four glazed donuts into my body. A few minutes later, giddy with the sudden overload of sugar, I stumbled outside to see the Ferrari already gone. Inside traveled a small child, her brain happily soaking up every component of that magic which Ferraris are made of, constructing all the right synapses for a balanced adulthood.

Next up, we’ll look at a Ferrari 612 Scaglietti and a real, live kid who rides in the back.

Photo Credit: Balázs Fenyő (Lamborghini Espada) and the author

The plain old 2010 Mercedes S-Class was only just unveiled last week during, but purposefully not at, the New York Auto Show. Now, 4wheelsnews brings us these shots, which supposedly show both the S63 and 2010 Mercedes S65 AMG. Mercedes has stated the S63 will make 518 HP, while the much more expensive V12 S65 will produce 604 HP.

Also expect the new S-Class's fancy LED lights and revised interior, here even nicer in Leather-‘n-Carbon AMG trim. Added to that will be the de rigueur beefed-up bodykit. [via CarandDriver]

Even with countless real-world cautionary tales to warn us, we persist in being tempted by terrifyingly complex German luxury hot rods of the 1980s and 1990s. Why, even after having all your fingers roasted down to charred stumps by the merest touch of a cheap Porsche 928 or V12 BMW project, when you see one priced at just a grand… well, maybe you won't get burned this time! That's why we can't help but keep returning to these two fine machines, though we've seen them in the Hell Garage before.

This is a photograph of one of the Porsche 928's electrical panels. Looks complicated, doesn't it? The sort of thing that might be a bit intimidating when you have to puzzle out the cause behind some bizarre malfunction… but hey, maybe this 1982 Porsche 928 (go here if the ad disappears) will be 100% reliable for you! Just find a new transmission for it- 5-speed, of course- and you'll be well on your way to building your very own lightweight 928 track car. The seller would like to get $999 for it, which means that this Porsche has depreciated a head-clutching 98.8% (adjusting for inflation) since 1982. How can that be? At that price, we suggest you pick up a couple of parts cars, because what are the odds that all three of your 928s will have the same broken stuff?

You'd enjoy driving that 928, if when you got it in driving shape, but let's say you're in Tonopah Las Vegas (having just taken Nickel Nick's Hot Slots And Guaranteed Ptomaine Free $1.99 Buffet the Bellagio for $17.43 $88,000 at the keno board high-rollers-only baccarat tables) and you spy a couple of scurrilous meth-addicted teenage runaways attractive young ladies (or men, depending on your proclivities and/or gender) who appear willing to do anything for a sawbuck ready for a night on the town. Do you make one of them crawl into the Porsche's back seat, like a rat crawling into a hole gnawed in a hot-sheet flophouse's bathroom baseboard, or do you get yourself a genuine V12-powered four-door car? The latter, of course, and this 1988 BMW 750iL (go here if the ad disappears) is just calling your name! We're pretty sure that BMW's marketers didn't target the 750il at buyers who would refer to their pride and joy as a "nice ass rare car," as this seller does, so we're pretty sure this isn't the car's original owner. There is definitely might be something terrifyingly expensive challenging wrong with the engine, as the seller states in this subtle poem:

its starting to blow white smoke
from the exhaust and
i dunno
if sumthings going bad
thats y im
selling it for so cheap

While you're dealing with that pair of cracked heads minor tuneup, you can start shopping for some really cool-looking wheels, because this seller is giving you the opportunity to choose the most beautiful wheels in the world for your new 750il. That's right, "all u need to do is bring some wheels cause it doesnt have any and then u can take it home."

It is not without a sense of unease to contemplate the meteoric rise of Audi these past few years. A company with a Gordian knot of a history best known for making slightly better Volkswagens has somehow replaced both BMW and Porsche at the bleeding edge of German design and technology. And being on top is, of course, uncool by default.

It may already be too late. Audi is perhaps already what Porsche was in the 80s and buying an R8 these days may now perhaps be akin to purchasing a yellow 911 convertible in Thatcherite Britain.

But none of this really matters for making up your mind whether to attend this year’s Goodwood Festival of Speed, where Audi will be the featured carmaker. What matters is that they will have on display the entire spectrum of Audi racing cars, including the prewar Auto Unions. With twelve and sixteen cylinders and as many straight pipes for exhausts which carried Bernd Rosemeyer to Grand Prix victories and, later on, to death.

Read more and plan your trip at the Festival of Speed site.

Photo Credit: VOLKER HARTMANN/AFP/Getty Images

Audi’s last V12 ran on diesel and won at Le Mans three times between 2006 and 2008. The one before that was built seventy years before, ran on gasoline, and powered the Auto Union Type D in the 1938 and 1939 seasons of the European Grand Prix Championship. It was Ferrari-small, only three liters of displacement, but by the time it gained two-stage supercharging for 1939, the engine developed close to 500 HP. This was the car Tazio Nuvolari hit a deer with, in practice for the 1938 Donington Grand Prix.

If you would like to one-up the great little man of Mantua and upgrade to perhaps smacking into a bison, now is your chance: chassis #19 of the Type D will be up for auction by Bonhams & Butterfields on August 14 in Carmel, California. Number nineteen was driven by Nuvolari’s teammate Hans Stuck on the Nürburgring and at Reims.

Expect to spend about $8,000,000 and remember: bison are large, aggressive animals.

Source: Keith Martin’s Sports Car Market