A Unimog U5000 with Schlingmann fire-brigade body has been blessed into service by abbot Archimandrit Etrem from the Vatopedi monastery in Greece. The vehicle is equipped with win and awesome. Other features include a 5000 liter water tank and a 400 liter foam tank. If this Unimog does not fail, 20 more will be purchased and blessed into service fighting back the fires of the apocalypse.

The vehicle's center of gravity has been lowered so it does not roll down the hill. Two front spray nozzles and a foam/water canaon capable of 634 gpm at 116 psi will ensure monk uprisings can be quickly suppressed.

Only men are allowed to enter the monastery, meaning the driver of the new Unimog won't have to listen to his wife telling him to stop and ask for directions. The Unimog is parked at the 1100-year-old monastery's main gate to prevent men from thinking dirty thoughts about women while they are visiting.

Mount Athos is a monastic republic free of Greek oppresion. There are 20 monasteries on Athos and the official slogan is, "What happens on Athos stays on Athos."

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