Jalopnik: ugly

The Ten Ugliest Cars Sold Outside The United States

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EDT

We've already shown you our list of the ten ugliest cars currently sold in the United States. Although epic, it meant exclusion of some fantastically ugly cars sold only on the international marketplace. Until now. After scouring the globe from Australia to Russia, these are the ten top cars that make us want to run from the computer and hurl ourselves out the nearest open window. Vote for your favorite foreign fugly-mobile in the poll at the bottom or chime in via the comments if you think we've missed one.

10. Reva Electric Car (India)

Though we're supportive of the electric car idea, especially in India, it's hard to get excited about the Indian-built Reva Electric CitiCar from an aesthetic angle. The car voted "Worst Car Of The Year" by Top Gear is, also, one of the least appealing vehicles out on the road. It's like an unattractive car, cut in half, and then painted in a variety of unappealing ways.

9. Covini C6W (Italy)

The Covini C6W is advertised as the only six-wheeled supercar in the world and, after looking at it, you can probably understand why. Despite having the look of a modern Italian exotic from a few angles, take a step back and the abundance of wheels makes it look like something out of a photoshop contest.

8. Lada 111 Touring (Russia)

The wagon version of the Lada 1110, the Lada 111 Touring takes the otherwise boring Russian sedan to unattractive heights. The Lada brand was created because the old name, Zhiguli, sounded like "gigolo," which turned off foreign buyers. The car was originally designed in 1996, but since it's Russia they'll probably make it for another 30 years. Modern style, like modern democracy, hasn't fully blossomed in the former Soviet Union.

7. Renault Trafic Crew Van (French)

As much as we love quirky French cars, we've had a hard time getting on board with the Renault Trafic Van, especially in "Crew" trim, which adds an extra window. The bulging cockpit, asymmetrical hood feature, flared fenders and little mustache all combine to make one fugly van.

6. Geely Beauty Leopard (China)

The Geely Beauty Leopard, other than proving that you can't just name a car beauty and expect it to be beautiful, is famous for being the first production vehicle with an in-car karaoke machine. We were sort of fans of the previous Beauty Leopard, so we were sad to see it take such a bloated, cladded and altogether funky-in-a-bad-way look. [Photos: ChinaCarTimes]

5. Bolwell Nagari (Australia)

In case you didn't know there was an old Bolwell sports car, the Australian automaker did the exciting Australian auto show circuit with their brand new Nagari two-seater this year. Powered by a Toyota V6, the car is clearly set to put performance ahead of style. Though it has the classic sports car look from the front, a peak around the side reveals misshapen, almost reptilian, vents and proportions only a Fierrari owner could love.

4. SEAT Altea Freetrack (Spain)

No longer an ugly concept car, the SEAT Altea Freetrack is finally a horrible reality! Built by VW's Spanish subsidiary and designed by someone who cleans their glasses with oil rags, the Altea Freetrack is essentially a crossover: combining the utility of a car with the look of an object created as a warning to humanity.

3. Ssangyong Rodius (Korea)

Once referred to as the R-Class with Down's Syndrome, the Korean-made Ssangyong Rodius is an exercise in just how strong a force thrift can be in allowing someone to rationalize a purchase. With it's dopey eyes and two-tiered rear, the Rodius is the trick this designer played on the world. Voted Britain's ugliest car, we had to work hard to find something more grotesque than this huge monstrosity.

2. Mitsuoka Orochi (Japan)

The Mitsuoaka Orochi is named for a Japanese mythical dragon that, apparently, destroyed others by looking at them. Part supercar, part dragon, part collection of random creases, the Orochi is phenomenally unattractive. Though relatively unique (they're going to make 400 of them), the Orochi is what happens when you take the classic design of a mid-engined supercar and combine it with a nightmare. The Orochi will haunt your dreams.

1. Weber Sportscar Faster One (Switzerland)

What can you say about the Weber Faster One that hasn't already been explained to a court-appointed psychiatrist at the war crimes trail for the designers behind the Swiss monstrosity? Though fast, wicked fast, the Faster One looks like an angry Frenchman whose head has been bashed in and has taken revenge on the world that has made him an outcast. Hide the children when this car is around.

The Ten Ugliest Cars Currently Sold In The United States

Matt Hardigree — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:00:00 EDT

Automakers spend lots of time and money designing, redesigning and test marketing their new vehicles to make certain they'll capture a potential buyer's imagination. It doesn't always work. We asked you just days ago if new cars were getting uglier and there was no real consensus, but one look at this list of the top ten ugliest new cars sold in the United States may tip the scales in favor of uglier. Hit the jump to see them all and make sure to vote in the poll so we can determine which one's truly ugliest. Don't see an undeserving car? Add it to the list.

10. 2009 Honda Pilot

We like the 2009 Honda Pilot, we really do. If seven-passenger SUVs were our thing, the Pilot would be at the top of our list. The only thing holding us back would the be styling, which manages to be both boring and ugly at the same time, making it ugling... or borgly. Depending on the viewing angle you're either unimpressed with it or terrified.

9. 2009 Acura TL

The 2009 Acura TL doesn't go on sale for a few months and we already don't like those looks. Successive generations of Acuras are getting worse, reminding us a time when their cars actually had names (Legend, Integra) and actually had style. The TL is a Transformer frozen forever in a transformation from an attractive sedan to a particularly unattractive cheese grater.

8. 2008 Chevy Uplander

We wouldn't blame you if you didn't know that Chevy still made minivans since, given how awful their Uplander looks, the company seems to be keeping it a pretty good secret. It's all in the face. maybe it's the influence of Cars, but we tend to see cars as faces and the Uplander looks like a fat guy who realized he just swallowed a stapler. It's so awful looking that, in the press shots, they suggest alternative transportation. We'll take a 1991 Silhouette instead.

7. 2009 Nissan Murano

The 2009 Nissan Murano was designed with the intention of capturing a "modern art" feel. What they ended up with was a design that's the kind of modern art that gives ammunition to legislators trying to cut funding for the National Endowment of the Arts. An otherwise shapely profile is destroyed by loafer-shaped headlights surrounding a grille that looks like the angry smile of poorly rendered alien villain.

6. 2009 Toyota Venza

Instead of just making a Camry wagon, which is what the world really needs, Toyota decided to make the Venza crossover. We think someone actually drew a Camry wagon and then someone came along with a huge ball of silly putty and stretched it until it was no longer recognizable.

5. 2008 Jeep Compass Rallye

The Jeep Compass was apparently designed to appeal to women, which may explain why it looks like a fetus. From the huge grille to the almost comically mismatched panels, it's one of the few cars that looks like a Chinese knock-off of itself.

4. 2008 Subaru Impreza Sedan

The design of the 2008 WRX STI hatch isn't our favorite, but it manages to capture the rally heritage and weird-aru look of most Subies. The base model Impreza, on the other hand, is purposeless and wimpy. It's as if you suddenly took all the body armor off of a knight — you're basically left with a hairy naked Prussian dude.

3. 2008 Chrysler Sebring Convertible

Creating a hardtop convertible version of a four-door car requires making tough decisions, in the case of the Chrysler Sebring we were sort of hoping they'd be able to diminish the features that made the sedan so unappealing. Not so much. Somehow the hood strakes seem deeper, the headlights more misshapen and the profile more hunchbacked on the drop-top version.

2. 2008 Toyota Prius

We don't mind cars that combine form and function, but the entire purpose of the Toyota Prius' sheet metal seems to prove the driver has such a strong commitment to the environment they'll be seen in something so awkward looking. The body is designed to reduce drag and increase efficiency, which is great, but the Tatra T87 has the same basic shape and a sub-.024 cD without looking an appliance. Here are some ladies of the booth in front of one so yo don't have to avert your eyes.

1. 2009 Ford Focus

As much as we loved the original Ford Focus when it debuted, and as often as we pine for the Euro Focus, the US focus has gotten perpetually worse in the looks department. That was in 2008. For 2009 Ford Focus randomly added curves, lines, bulges and spoilers until we wished the once becoming Focus would soon be going.

Easter Bunny Conversion Kit: Just Stop It Already

Travis Hudson — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:30:00 EST

Seriously, could you not go three fucking months without wanting to put another damn festive conversion kit on your Honda? This past Christmas when the reindeer conversion kit was released I was convinced that nobody would actually buy one, but low and behold every SUV-driving soccer mom was rocking it around the Dallas metroplex and now I am all but sure this April will be filled with Easter bunny SUVs. And if you really wanted to know, this kit includes a fuzzy tail, as well.

Speaking of which, I saw a Lexus with the reindeer nose still on, but no antlers at the end of January outside of my favorite happy hour hangout and part of me wanted to rip the nose off and part of me wanted to cry, but I did neither and just drank until I forgot, like usual. [Whatonearth via Popgadget]

Neck-Mounted Bluetooth Headset Won't Make You A Beauty Pageant Winner

Travis Hudson — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 13:45:00 EST

By now you should be well aware of the cellphone usage laws for your state, but if you can't bear wearing a Bluetooth headset on your ear, there are other options. This takes the traditional Bluetooth headset and turns it into a god-awful ugly neck-mounted contraption is that will draw more blank stares than if you just used a regular Bluetooth headset. It does include one nice feature.

You wear the RoadRunner Bluetooth Communicator around the neck, therefore the microphone can sit directly on your voice box and transmit noise directly from your larynx, which is capable of eliminating almost all ambient noise. It supports nine hours of talk time and includes a rechargeable battery. It's available for $80 or so from Pro-Idee. [RoadRunner Communicator via CrunchGear]

The Retrun of Schadenfriday! The Bad, The Worst and The Hideous...

Jonny Lieberman — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 13:59:00 EST

We dare you, man. We frigging double-dog dare you to find an uglier... thing. We love Subarus around here as much as the next McRae, but the SVX — despite its maximum hoonage potential — has always put the ugly into fugging ugly. Some Scoobie-coupe owning bozo has apparently grafted the spare tire carrier from a Gel ndewagen onto the rear, affixed dual gas cans to the sides, a cattle guard with hellas up front and we can't even really properly speculate on what those things growing out of the hood might be. Nuke it from space; it's the only way to be sure. More awful after the jump. – Jonny Lieberman