'I Locked My Keys In My Car' And Other Reasons Roger Ailes Calls the Cops

Jowly asshole Roger Ailes, the chairman of Fox News, is a security-obsessed paranoiac who spies on his employees, installed blast-resistant plexiglass in his office windows, carries a concealed weapon, and travels with a full-time retinue of bodyguards. All of which may help explain why the cops were called to his New… »6/02/11 3:10pm6/02/11 3:10pm

Airplanes Are Just Like Slave Ships, Says Some Kind of Expert

Steven Heller is a celebrated expert. His area of expertise is graphic design. In other words, he sees order in patterns in ways that the layman cannot. For example, in a piece today for PrintMag.com entitled "A Curious Similarity," he couldn't help but notice the parallels between airplane seating arrangements and… »5/25/11 1:22am5/25/11 1:22am

Roswell 'UFO' Was Nothing More than Stalin's Nazi Space Ship Full of Monsters

As one of America's foremost news sources for crazy internet people, we feel it is important to keep you informed on the very latest news regarding the real story behind mysterious government alien autopsy site "Area 51," the Nevada military base where they keep that UFO that crashed in Roswell in 1947. And now, the… »5/23/11 5:46pm5/23/11 5:46pm

Capitol Hill Staffer Changes His 'WTF 44' License Plates

Few mysteries among the Capitol Hill gossip set were more unsolvable, not to mention trivial, than that of the 2007 Lincoln Navigator with Texas license plates reading "WTF 44" situated in the Longworth House Office Building parking lot. Why would this Texan motorist be so perplexed over the current and 44th president… »5/17/11 1:46pm5/17/11 1:46pm