Hide the children. Darken the windows. Get out your all-black clothing. Jeremy Clarkson told a South African radio program that British motoring revue Top Gear will not return until 2013. We think this might be because of the London Olympics. Remember that this summer when you're watching Synchronized Swimming.

We can tell you that this is an illustration of a bound and gagged Jeremy Clarkson airbrushed onto the back of a Lada Priora. We just wish we knew who made this beautiful piece of art.

You've read about our bug-infested behind-the-scenes sneak peek, now it's time to experience the whole thing. Richard Hammond's Crash Course, the Hamster's solo tour of America and its biggest, baddest rides, is set to debut next month on BBC America.

There's obviously a strong affinity between Top Gear's millions of viewers and Jalopnik readers — some who have even stalked the hosts in our name. I recently had the pleasure of hanging out with Richard Hammond and asked him if he wanted to say anything to Jalopnik's readers.

British motoring show Top Gear is a popular stop on the U.K. interview circuit for two reasons: 1.) It's the most watched show... in the world; 2.) Entertainers get to measure up against their peers on a race track. In last night's episode, Ryan Reynolds takes on Tom Cruise's time. It's charming.

Is your torrent of the first episode of Top Gear Season 18 not yet done? Then click through for our open thread on the episode that sees Jeremy, Richard and James travel to Italy for a Supercar Shootout in the Lamborghini Aventador, the McLaren MP4-12C and the Noble M600. Also, Will.i.am gets behind the wheel of the…

The eighteenth season of Top Gear kicks off Sunday, and on top of the promo trailer the Beeb has posted a few behind-the-scenes photos from the set of the most popular car show... in the world.

Is your torrent of the Top Gear India episode not yet done? Then join our open thread and argue about how a trio of aging Brit cars might or mightn't promote trade between Britain and the former colony, and future superpower, and how the episode compares with special episodes' past.

Are you a government employee on strike? Like Top Gear? Here's what Jeremy Clarkson thinks of you: "I'd have them all shot. I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families." Clarkson made the characteristically over-the-top remark on The One Show, a daily, magazine-type program on BBC One.

A tattoo is a deeply personal act of bodily adornment; asking why a person chooses something is not always a reasonable question. Still, and despite our rabid love for "Captain Slow," we cannot understand why someone would want a portrait of Top Gear's James May on his thigh for the rest of his life.