I was there, hangin' out with my fellow rednecks. That race was not very exciting... 'bout what all the stereotypes pin on NASCAR, especially since Daytona is a restrictor plate track. But I had a great view of that last lap wreck.
That was, indeed, a spectacular wreck. Intensified by the near-universal hate of the guy in that 18 car, a hundred thousand screaming fans could not have been happier. It made the 3-day weekend cross country trip worth while. That was a great way to spend Independence Day.
It's a testament to NASCAR's safety improvements that nobody was injured in that incident... except for maybe Kyle Busch, who had to be subdued by officials so he didn't go pick a fight in the middle of pit lane.
@TimTim: I too watched the end of that race, all by my redneck self. I made it 100,001 screaming fans who delighted in the finish. That guy in #18 car was definitely PO'd.
This is all I can think of anymore whenever someone mentions NASCAR, I instantly start yelling: GO FAST "I'm going fast!" TURN LEFT "I'm turning left!"
I will cheer heartily and relish every single time Kyle Busch gets put into the wall. He's a tumbling, tumbling dickweed and a punk. The man just wins too much; it's suspicious. The less he wins, the better the sport is. He thought he could steal a win from Tony, and he was wrong, end of story.
Also, Burger King is delicious. THANK YOU BABY JESUS!!!
I knew kids that were afraid of them. For fear that their feet would get caught... Some body told us kindergartners about the kid who's shoe laces got caught in the steps and it sucked his legs in, leaving him legless.
Needless to say, we hesitated stepping on those things.
My office is on the same floor as a casting agency. On frequent occasions, when making my way to the gentleman's lounge, I'll find the hallway filled with kids auditioning for god knows what.
It's better when they are casting for "hot babysitter" or "Charlie's date", as they also do 2 and a Half Men out of there.
The love that we have for hot blondes. The love that we have for watching 180mph bumper cars. The love of big trophies to compensate for microscopic penises. The love of dumbass commercials (for which the superbowl was invented). The love of wasting money on stupid shit because the little box with pretty colors on it told us to. The love we have of living vicariously through the lives of people whom we deem as much cooler than we are, in order to escape to harsh realities of or pathetic, unemployed little lives.
Finally, the love of thinking that maybe if just wore that Old Spice deoderant/anti-persperent, we, too, can feel the love.
all it says to me is: "Old Spice, just like nascar, is for beer chugging hillbillies who don't shower.. just like Tony Stewart here.. for a limited time only, with every Old Spice purchase you get a "wife beater" t-shirt free of charge"
discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was starred
discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was unstarred
@Ash78: Shows what little you know. As long as you don't lose it, the rules are the same on a road course with a formula car as they are on an oval with a stock car: the brave guy leaves first.
As you pick on NASCAR drivers, you show yourself to be the rube ...
No no, he left first. He just didn't fulfill the victory conditions.
I think it was Dale Sr who said that all those who were worried about safety in NAMBLANASSCARZ should "Tie Kerosene soaked rags around their ankles so the piss-ants don't climb up and eat your candy asses!"
That said, I was really sad that he didn't drive the corvette in the 24 hours of daytona that year.
@Ash78: Umm, Stewart came from karting and open wheel. And he has won his fair share of road tracks in NASCAR and elsewhere.
I guarantee he know a hell of a lot more about how to use his left foot. He could put it right up your a$$, or he might use it to shift. You never know.
Maybe next time you should jump on a Dale Jr. headline, rather than Smoke.
01NB = not a Stewart fan. Never have been. Still, credit where credit is due.
@LucidRalphWiley: And just think how many fans (and, consequently, manufacturer and sponsor interest) he would have brought with him to sportscar racing.
09/22/09
09/22/09
I was there, hangin' out with my fellow rednecks. That race was not very exciting... 'bout what all the stereotypes pin on NASCAR, especially since Daytona is a restrictor plate track. But I had a great view of that last lap wreck.
That was, indeed, a spectacular wreck. Intensified by the near-universal hate of the guy in that 18 car, a hundred thousand screaming fans could not have been happier. It made the 3-day weekend cross country trip worth while. That was a great way to spend Independence Day.
It's a testament to NASCAR's safety improvements that nobody was injured in that incident... except for maybe Kyle Busch, who had to be subdued by officials so he didn't go pick a fight in the middle of pit lane.
09/22/09
09/22/09
09/22/09
09/22/09
09/22/09
09/22/09
09/22/09
Then again, in a sickening sense, Talladega always has been my favorite track.
09/22/09
Also, Burger King is delicious. THANK YOU BABY JESUS!!!
09/22/09
09/22/09
BTW, thanks to our graphics team:
09/22/09
Like we can talk!
03/19/09
03/19/09
Needless to say, we hesitated stepping on those things.
03/19/09
It's better when they are casting for "hot babysitter" or "Charlie's date", as they also do 2 and a Half Men out of there.
03/19/09
/Stand by for the inevitable pics
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
The love that we have for hot blondes. The love that we have for watching 180mph bumper cars. The love of big trophies to compensate for microscopic penises. The love of dumbass commercials (for which the superbowl was invented). The love of wasting money on stupid shit because the little box with pretty colors on it told us to. The love we have of living vicariously through the lives of people whom we deem as much cooler than we are, in order to escape to harsh realities of or pathetic, unemployed little lives.
Finally, the love of thinking that maybe if just wore that Old Spice deoderant/anti-persperent, we, too, can feel the love.
Remember folks: all you need is love.
03/19/09
03/19/09
I thought Tony Stewart was from indiana, where they're more rednecks than hillbillies.
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
Agreed, that commercial has me rolling every time it comes on.
Us Bruce Campbell fanboys/girls have to stick together.
You seen My Name is Bruce yet? Fantastic.
03/19/09
[www.bruce-campbell.com]
03/19/09
03/19/09
As you pick on NASCAR drivers, you show yourself to be the rube ...
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
No no, he left first. He just didn't fulfill the victory conditions.
I think it was Dale Sr who said that all those who were worried about safety in NAMBLANASSCARZ should "Tie Kerosene soaked rags around their ankles so the piss-ants don't climb up and eat your candy asses!"
That said, I was really sad that he didn't drive the corvette in the 24 hours of daytona that year.
03/19/09
I guarantee he know a hell of a lot more about how to use his left foot. He could put it right up your a$$, or he might use it to shift. You never know.
Maybe next time you should jump on a Dale Jr. headline, rather than Smoke.
01NB = not a Stewart fan. Never have been. Still, credit where credit is due.
03/19/09
Humor! Apply directly to personality!
Humor! Apply directly to personality!
Humor! Apply directly to personality!
03/19/09
Context! Apply directly to humor!
Context! Apply directly to humor!
Context! Apply directly to humor!
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
03/19/09
Sigh....