Grand romantic gestures typically fall into three categories: the ones that work, the ones that don't, and the ones that will land you in prison. A Japanese man is in hot water for the last one after police say he admitted to slashing the tires of some 1,000 women in order to strike up a conversation with them.

Besides stealing nuclear secrets or talking in a movie theater, I don't think there's a bigger dick move on the planet than tire slashing. That's exactly what this former Congressional candidate in New Mexico is accused of doing. Repeatedly. Oh, and stalking. Not cool, bro!