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Detroit, 1:21 AM
Sat Dec 12
24 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover

    Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover

    What Kind Of Man Is A Jalopnik Man?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of FTGDWolverineEdition'09 FTGDWolverineEdition'09
    12/09/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    I for one, do like this section. Kinda sumsup all the mundane into one post.
     Reply
    FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was starred FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was unstarred
    Image of eggwich del fiero eggwich del fiero
    12/09/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    I like teh part where the guys were all like "beh we don't like this, this is bad," and then Ray was all like "it's not so bad, mebbe we tone it down?," then that one guy was like "Tiger Woods story dumb!" and Ray was all like, "yeah, Tiger Wood story pertty dumb, I'ma take it down."

    Despite my grammar, I completely mean what I wrote. While I don't necessarily like seeing people complain or having reason to complain, I love love love editorial response. It's what I love most about jalopnik beside all the cars that go ERRRT!
     Reply
    eggwich del fiero was starred eggwich del fiero was unstarred
    Image of Ford Tempo Fanatic Ford Tempo Fanatic
    12/08/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    @ Ford Remote Starts.

    Okay, way to make it sound like FoMoCo is just now getting remote things. 1988 Ford Tempo (or Mercury Topaz) buyers could option for the Remote Entry system, which was keyless power locks. Only available on four doors equipped with power locks of course.

    I also remember Lincoln in '98 having remote START and locks. My 1990 Ford F-150 XLT Lariat also has the whole nine yards: remote start, panic, remote locks. But I cheated on that one.
     Reply
    Ford Tempo Fanatic was starred Ford Tempo Fanatic was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    12/08/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    So, these car stories aren't "Jalopnik" enough, but a Deadspin piece on how Tiger Woods' insatiable appetite for sex is?

    Seriously guys, I love it here, but you really need to get over yourselves.
     Reply
    Edited by If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face at 12/08/09 7:16 PM If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of Ray Wert Ray Wert
    12/08/09

    @If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face: Actually, the Deadspin post was just that -- a Deadspin post. Not a Jalopnik one. But, point noted. Maybe we shouldn't have accepted the splice. In fact, I think I'm going to pull it as you're probably right. I really just accepted it to hook my boy A.J. up, but it doesn't really fit in.

    This, however, does.
     Reply
    Ray Wert was starred Ray Wert was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    12/08/09

    @Ray Wert: I don't mind the Gawker Network cross-posts (the Gizmodo ones can be pretty interesting and the Jezebel ones are unintentionally hilarious). However, the Deadspin piece really needed a "Tiger can drive a ball but he can't drive a car"-type joke to be relevant here, although, admittedly, the absence of such a joke didn't stop me from reading it.

    Honestly, I like the concept behind this new feature. I just think it needs a bit more work; it feels like the elusive Auto Insider is slapping it together ten minutes before quitting time. While summarizing a story as "Too fucking boring!" is kinda funny (once), I know you guys are better than that. I need some wit with my irreverence, that's why I come here in the first place.

    EDIT: On second reading, I should give yesterday's feature a little more credit, especially for a first attempt. Today's was totally phoned in, though...hell, 75% was cut-n-paste from yesterday.
     Reply
    Edited by If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face at 12/08/09 8:30 PM If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
    12/09/09

    @If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face: I figure that this feature will hold water as long as various other sites keep posting about the possible unibody Dakota.
     Reply
    Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was starred Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was unstarred
    Image of tempesjo tempesjo
    12/08/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    Ok, should this daily feature make me hesitate to send in tips? Or is there commenter immunity? Because I really fear seeing this:

    TIP: [Insert some inane tip]

    WHAT WAS IT: Tip from tempesjo

    WHY WE DIDN'T COVER: tempesjo is a f***ing idiot.
     Reply
    tempesjo was starred tempesjo was unstarred
    Image of Ray Wert Ray Wert
    12/08/09

    @tempesjo: Ha. No. We love the tips. However, sometimes tipsters will send in what they think are tips even though we covered it four days earlier. This story will be a great opportunity to point out to would-be tipsters "hey, thanks for the tip, but we've seen that already" without re-hashing the entire story again.

    Does that make sense?
     Reply
    Ray Wert was starred Ray Wert was unstarred
    Image of tempesjo tempesjo
    12/08/09

    @Ray Wert: Yes, that makes sense. And now I know that public ridicule is a potential consequence if I get 3/4 drunk sometime and accidentally submit a jalopnik story as a tip.
     Reply
    tempesjo was starred tempesjo was unstarred
    Image of Ray Wert Ray Wert
    12/08/09

    @tempesjo: Well, we probably wouldn't point out the tipster who screwed up. That wouldn't be cool.
     Reply
    Ray Wert was starred Ray Wert was unstarred
    Image of tempesjo tempesjo
    12/09/09

    @Ray Wert: That's what I needed to hear. I will continue my practice of sending in tips with reckless abandon.
     Reply
    tempesjo was starred tempesjo was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    12/08/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    I like the part of Ford having heated s/w. I don't need a seat warmer, as my butt doesn't get cold, but my hands do.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of BullittFan_Fords4Life BullittFan_Fords4Life
    12/08/09

    @skaycog: Seat heaters, bah humbug. That's what pants are for Unless you go commando, then they REALLY come in handy.

    As for a heated steering wheel, sweet! All the more reason not to live in fear that my fingers will turn gangrenous and icky and proceed to fall off while I'm out there just fucking hooning my Taurus around in a snow-covered parking lot (while dodging lurking cement barriers and the occasional sleeping yeti) in the five degrees (Fahrenheit) of hell we know around here as a typical January.
     Reply
    BullittFan_Fords4Life was starred BullittFan_Fords4Life was unstarred
    Image of PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party. PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party.
    12/08/09

    @BullittFan_Fords4Life: Ok where the heck to you live cause you sound like me except I would've said -20 degrees Celsius
     Reply
    PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party. was starred PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party. was unstarred
    Image of TurboRefrigerator TurboRefrigerator
    12/08/09

    @skaycog: I liked heated steering wheels, too. I have only driven one car that had this feature, a Buick Lucerne. I did notice that if I forgot about having the thing on, my hands would eventually get sweaty.

    On that note, never let yourself become curious enough to sniff the heated steering wheel of a rental car. It doesn't smell like anything you'd want to smell.
     Reply
    skaycog promoted this comment TurboRefrigerator was starred TurboRefrigerator was unstarred
    Image of OA 5599 OA 5599
    12/08/09

    @skaycog: Sit on your hands and steer with your knees, then. Or wear gloves like people with cold hands AND cold butts do.
     Reply
    skaycog promoted this comment OA 5599 was starred OA 5599 was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    12/08/09

    @TurboRefrigerator: Thanks for that information. I won't even smell the unheated steering wheel of a rental car.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    12/08/09

    @OA 5599: I really don't like to wear gloves when driving, but I do sit on hands (one at a time). With the cold spell we're having now, I may learn to steer with my knees or feet.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of BullittFan_Fords4Life BullittFan_Fords4Life
    12/08/09

    @PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party.: Chicago. Our winters are usually blisteringly cold thanks to the arctic storm currents that you Canadians send down here to cause trouble.
     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face promoted this comment BullittFan_Fords4Life was starred BullittFan_Fords4Life was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    12/08/09

    @BullittFan_Fords4Life: When I lived there, I always blamed the lake, but blaming the Canucks is clearly much more fun. Or the Cheeseheads, for that matter.
     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of BullittFan_Fords4Life BullittFan_Fords4Life
    12/08/09

    @If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face: The Canucks started it by sending Alberta Clippers our way. And we can blame Cheeseheads for EVERYTHING- from Mr. Mayor getting elected by dead people to the attempted renaming of a city icon. Fuck the "Willis" Tower; it's Sears Tower FTW.

    Yeah, some Chicagoans still take that personally.
     Reply
    Edited by BullittFan_Fords4Life at 12/08/09 8:31 PM BullittFan_Fords4Life was starred BullittFan_Fords4Life was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    12/08/09

    @BullittFan_Fords4Life: What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?

    Hell, I still take that personally, I haven't been a Chicagoan for 10 years.

    While I'm at it, I'm also going to blame them for renaming Comiskey Park "U.S. Cellular Field." Damn Cheeseheads.
     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of BullittFan_Fords4Life BullittFan_Fords4Life
    12/08/09

    @If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face: U.S. Cellular what now? I know nothing about the Field of which you speak. I do know that the awesome Chicago White Sox have been playing ball at Comiskey Park for a very, very long time.

    Cheeseheads and Brewers fans, ugh. Can't live with 'em, can't launch a tactical nuke right into the middle of their state.
     Reply
    BullittFan_Fords4Life was starred BullittFan_Fords4Life was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    12/08/09

    @BullittFan_Fords4Life: You had me at "Awesome Chicago White Sox."

    The whole tactical nuke thing was just icing on the cake. Icing that made spill my Jalopnik (TM) brand dinner scotch all over my keyboard. Heart clicky.
     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of BullittFan_Fords4Life BullittFan_Fords4Life
    12/08/09

    @If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face: Sadly, I don't have any Jalopnik (TM) scotch, but what I've been drinking tonight should lead to a few more whimsical musings until the harsh unfeeling bitch that is sobriety kicks me in the junk tomorrow morning.

    FYI, Chicago is under one of those blasted Canadian weather-machine attacks right now. Resist!
     Reply
    Edited by BullittFan_Fords4Life at 12/08/09 9:54 PM BullittFan_Fords4Life was starred BullittFan_Fords4Life was unstarred
    Image of Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe) Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe)
    12/08/09

    @skaycog: I'm assuming, then, that you don't row your own? It'd be hard to sit on one hand while driving a stick shift for any length of time... Though perhaps you only do that once you reach cruising speed?
     Reply
    skaycog promoted this comment Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe) was starred Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe) was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    12/09/09

    @Racin_G73 - dirt track legend (some day ... maybe): Good morning! Yum, first cup of coffee and reading Jalop....nice way to start the day. I'd really like to have heated s/w this morning.....temps dropped to 16 below last night. For this part of CO, that is really unusual. I do have garage, so that helps. Keep warm.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of Maxichamp Maxichamp
    12/08/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    Toyota should offer the San Antonio jobs to the NUMMI people first.
     Reply
    Maxichamp was starred Maxichamp was unstarred
    Image of FTGDWolverineEdition'09 FTGDWolverineEdition'09
    12/08/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    Thanks for smashing my hopes. Was really looking forward to more Dr.Z stories..
     Reply
    FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was starred FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was unstarred
    Image of Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. .
    12/07/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    Why is Dr. Z getting ground up again? None of the news pertains to him? Having a 'stache like that should except him from any meat-grinding going on!
     Reply
    Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . was starred Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . was unstarred
    Image of eggwich del fiero eggwich del fiero
    12/07/09

    @Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. .: I wanted to read about the Mustang that got all mooglied by the grinder! And where's the story about the grinder?
    (jokes, but I was psyched about a Mustang story. I am fanboy, hear me type.)
     Reply
    eggwich del fiero was starred eggwich del fiero was unstarred
    Image of FlakJack FlakJack
    12/07/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    Somewhere, an agency account exec and/or internal PR flak is recording that Hyundai mention as "coverage" with a tone rating of "neutral-positive" and adding the entire weekly readership of Jalopnik into the column labeled "impressions."
     Reply
    FlakJack was starred FlakJack was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    12/07/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    You know how I can tell those aren't Jalopnik stories? It's easy - they friggin suck.

    Millionth Hyundai? That's like cheering for the billionth Chinese kid. You knew it'd be along eventually, who cares?
     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard
    12/07/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    No need to crawl up our arse. We're not arty champaign swilling cheese eating motherfuckers, for want of a better reference connoisseurs we are not.
     Reply
    LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was starred LandofMinos, cast thou evil bum dragger to thy scrapyard was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    12/07/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    Pick your reply:

    a.) "Are those your big sweaty paws in your pants, or are you happy to see me?"

    b.) Hyundai released a statement today that, in honor of the 1,ooo,oooth vehicle made being a Sonata, they were going to eject it via giant ballista into a Ford Tempo, and record the resultant triumphant crash. New owners will be given a cassette tape of the performance, and asked to critique the piece, while comparing it to classic John Cage compositions of the past.

    "It's our way of giving back to the community, through encouragement of artistic expression," officials were reported to have quipped.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Electro Gyrocator Electro Gyrocator
    12/07/09

    @DoctorNine: Oh god! Poor Ford Tempo!
     Reply
    DoctorNine promoted this comment Electro Gyrocator was starred Electro Gyrocator was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    12/08/09

    @Electro Gyrocator: The audience at the event kept urging the ballista artists to pick up the Tempo. Of course, by that time, it was hopelessly shattered into a million pieces. All the Kings Horses wouldn't have been enough.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    12/07/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    "discard a slew of tips deemed sub-prime"

    You should have repackaged them, graded them, and sold them to Autoblog and bore their readers to death.

    Wait, some of their commenters are already braindead, at least were last time I sticked around there.
     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Image of Number_Six Number_Six
    12/07/09

    In reply to Not Jalopnik Enough: Today's Car Stories We Didn't Cover
    I'm choosing to read #6 as Jalopnik's Neil Young to Hyundai's Lynyrd Skynyrd, just to keep myself interested.
     Reply
    Number_Six was starred Number_Six was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    12/07/09

    @Number_Six: A "Southern Man" don't need him around, anyhow.
     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
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