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test drives

Jalopnik Drives Real Live Tank By Remote Control, Can Now Die Happy

Guess who got handed the manual remote control pendant for BAE Systems' Black Knight fully autonomous tank? Yeh, I'm in as much shock as you are but can't stop thinking "Holy shit, I drove a robot tank! ROBOT. TANK." The 12-ton Unmanned Combat Vehicle (UCV) was developed by BAE Systems as an internal test bed for next generation technologies in ground warfare support. The Black Knight (we love the name, so take that Batman) is powered by a 300 HP Cat diesel and although it's quiet as a mouse is capable of up to 48 MPH. It's the largest robot with a safety release from the US military and has undergone field testing at Fort Benning. The tank can operate up to 15 MPH autonomously or by way of pendant in a command vehicle like an A3 Bradley from distances as far as three miles away. By the way, did I mention I DROVE A FREAKIN' ROBOT TANK? And now, since we did drive it, it's only fair to give it the good ol' Jalopnik Review treatment below the jump, star ratings and everything:

More »

Feature

2:59 PM on Wed Mar 12 2008
By Ben Wojdyla
20,430 views, 66 comments

Latest by SavannahJack: @sierran: Yeah, and no Hellbore, either. Still, I for one welcome this early model of our future robot overlords and wish them only victory and good maintenance. more »

test drives

Municipal Hoonage: 2007 Elgin Pelican P

The mighty Mike Austin, former of MPH as well as ours truly, now spends his time at the head of the class, long-lead testing such automotive n00bs as the Jaguar XF and Mitsubishi Evo X. Of course the key benefit to such a gig is getting on the horn to a supplier of municipal maintenance vehicles and barking something like, "bring it over," and having them jump to do so. That's power. Of course, when they bring over the Pelican P — the classic street sweeper — instead of the Road Wizard or the named-after-a-70s-prog-rock-trio Crosswind Fury, you have to be gracious. [Car and Driver]

10:45 AM on Thu Nov 15 2007
By Mike Spinelli
537 views, 14 comments

Latest by greenvanman: they see me rollin' they hatin' 'nuff said more »

test drives

Millions Served: PopSci Drives the Lamborghini Reventon

Popular Science car guy William R. Snyder got a coveted spot covering the first press drive of the Lamborghini Reventön (sorry, Reventón). That's the million-Euro Murciêlago LP640 imbued with fighter-jet mojo by way of copious carbon fiber and a cockpit-like interior. We're still far more impressed with Lamborghini's unmitigated gall than with the Reventøn's performance figures or rattle sheet of carbon-fiber alterations, but then, there's that sound. [via PopSci]

1:00 PM on Fri Nov 2 2007
By Mike Spinelli
2,500 views, 23 comments

Latest by Turboner: Any color on this car, and you'd still have a pussy magnet. more »

test drives

Caparo T1 Test Drive

What does a street-legal (in the UK) nearly open-wheel race car producing over 1,000 horsepower per metric ton feel like on the road? Ask Autocar, which took a test drive of a prototype Caparo T1. At just over a half-ton, the T1's actual horsepower figure is 575. But it appears to have the intuitive handling characteristics of a go kart, with the sequential transmission of an F1 car and the quickness of a jackrabbit shot from an antitank cannon. We'll live through you chaps, thanks.

9:57 AM on Tue Sep 18 2007
By Mike Spinelli
1,943 views, 8 comments

Latest by KingRoyale: Wow. Simply wow. I got a whole bit nervous and anxious while salivating over that video. I can't possibly imagine what driving that must be like. more »

stealing coins off a dead man's eyes

Top to Bottom: Dan Neil on the 2008 Chrysler Sebring Convertible

In today's editon of the LA Times, Mr. Neil has channeled some tips for incoming Chrysler grand poobah Robert Nardelli through a review of the latest player in the long line of drop top Chrysler Sebrings. Nardelli's ability to tell the difference between a good car and a bad car might be what saves Chrysler from a world of hurts. According to Neil, the drop top is a bad car.
Not just bad, but a veritable chalice of wretchedness, a rattling, thumping, lolling tragedy of a car, a summary indictment of Chrysler's recent management and its self-eradicating product planning, all cast in plastic worthy of a Chinese water pistol.
We hope Nardelli can tell the difference between a hammer drill and a super soaker. [Top to Bottom via the LA Times]

4:00 PM on Wed Aug 8 2007
By Mike Bumbeck
1,697 views, 49 comments

Latest by Ben Wojdyla: more »

formula street

Nick Hall Drives the Caparo T1

We're always pleased when Master Nick Hall sends one of his missives from somewhere along the Spanish coastline. Usually we hear about what's going behind the scenes. Now, writing for World Car Fans, Hall talks about his turn behind the wheel of the Caparo T1 — that low-volume "Formula car for the street" created by two ex-McLaren engineers and racecar designer (and penman behind the McLaren F1), Gordon Murray. But would you drive it to the shops? Hall answers. – Mike Spinelli More »

3:50 PM on Fri Jun 29 2007
By Mike Spinelli
1,051 views, 4 comments

Latest by KingRoyale: I do believe we have enough Jalops here to easily split the final purchase price so that it only costs ~ $100 per person. Then comes the hard part of "sharing" :) more »

we like people named tiff

Tiff Flogs the GT3 RS

It's no secret that Los Pedran Jalop is not a massive Porsche obsessive. Most of his favorite sons of Ferdinand are racing vehicles, with only the 550 Coupe and 928 to really stoke his passions. But there's something about the new GT3 RS. It's the most immediately soulful road car Porsche has produced since the 928 left the line. A different beast to be sure, but an assured loin-stirrer it is, even to oddball dorks who've always loved 914s and think 912s are rad. It is an undeniable car, and we constantly castigate people who buy mere GT3s for not going full-awesome and waiting for the RS. We do not say this lightly, but the new GT3 RS is simply one of the coolest cars Porsche has ever built. And at a time when German cars are getting consistently more complex, to their own detriment, the latest Rennsport 911 has arrived to restore the mantle of merely essential awesome. As Ferry himself said, "This is why functional designs are so beautiful; so calming." We'd add that they look fabulous in wild-ass-yet-somehow-understated color schemes too. And with that, we hand things over to Mr. Needell to simply race the coked-up snail along Castle Coombe's asphalt straight razor. – Davey G. Johnson More »

9:45 AM on Thu Jun 21 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
912 views, 20 comments

Latest by Shapeshifter: Tiff is the only person in the whole world who can make a pair of track-prepared super-Porsches boring. And that's the only mark against him you really need, isn't it? (I mean, okay, so Porsches are kind of boring to begin with... more »

where's dr. girlfriend when you need her?

Driving the Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead

The lads at Autocar, more heavily locked in with the crew in Goodwood than we are, got a stab at a spin in the new Rolls-Royce Phantom Drophead coupé and wafted themselves silly. We've seen the Drophead at a few auto shows lately, and it's truly an insane piece of work. It makes us want to pick up a big, nasty redhead and cruise Century Boulevard, Victory Boulevard, Imperial Highway, Sixth Street and Santa Monica Boulevard. We'll leave Lower Wacker Drive to the Eskimos. We love it! – Davey G. Johnson More »

7:45 PM on Fri May 18 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
2,088 views, 10 comments

Latest by Turboner: @lascauxcaveman: No shit. But really, how many people are going to own one of those and not a driver? more »

test drives

Clarkson Drives Audi S3, Visits Ice Station Impossible

Ol' JC spins a tale of finding himself stuck somewhere eight miles high in Canada at an abandoned weather station with a guy named Halli, an uncultured Icelandic type who, from the sound of Clarkson's fabulous hyperbole, undoubtedly rebuild a drawbridge with nothing but a found crate of Doublemint foil wrappers, the soldering flux he invariably carries in his pocket and a fake Zippo bought at Keflavik International. Jezza also goes on about the Audi S3, which he doesn't much care for. He also says the RS 3 is two years away. What, praytell, will power that wee beastie? – Davey G. Johnson More »

2:45 PM on Wed May 16 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
1,487 views, 12 comments

Latest by my favorite car is a motorcycle: @jonnylieberman: the A4/S4/RS4 engine is longitudinal, like that of the Solstice. All of these models would benefit from a substantial weight bias change to the aft - as noted by every experienced driver who has driven one back-to-back with a more »

news

Super Flight: Driving the Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera

When he's not writing Car Hack's Notebook columns for the Jalop, our mate from Birmingham, UK, Nick Hall must suffer his day job. Such drudgery it is to fly to Scottsdale, Arizona to drive the Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera in the desert at ludicrous speeds, trying to outwit a police force that lives to put his speed-gathering ass in the joint. What torture it must be to face the blank page after such a trip. More »

10:18 AM on Fri Apr 13 2007
By Mike Spinelli
927 views, 4 comments

news

Spumy Flinders! Dan Neil on the 599 Fiorano

In the video accompanying his review of the Ferrari 599, Se or Neil mentions that in a past life as a rock writer, he once interviewed Anthrax. He then proceeded to call them numbskulls. How can the band that recorded Among the Living and Persistence of Time possibly be a group of numbskulls? True, they did also record Fistful of Metal, an album that featured the lines, "I got thunder in my hands! I'm Metal Thrashing Maaaaaaaaaaaad!" So he could be correct. Regardless, Neil posits that the Fiorano is simply the best front-engined sports car ever made; a calling it a machine that will blow your mind to "spumy flinders." You okay over there, Dan? – Davey G. Johnson More »

8:45 PM on Wed Apr 11 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
1,060 views, 23 comments

Latest by Shapeshifter: Yeah, umm... Memo to Dan Neil: You are not Jeremy Clarkson. Other than him screwing his own presentation up (or was that script handed to him by some morons?) the car is really great. I don't know if i would take more »

news

No Klingon Love Poetry: Dan Neil on the Toyota Yaris


Yes, us oldsters still read the newspaper. This largely due to the fact that time is indeed marching on. Holding onto a bit of previously read pulpy words and pictures while sweating away at the gym always seems like a practical use of what time is left. Fellow gym goers likely thought marbles had been permanently lost witnessing this blog goon laughing out loud while reading Neil's take on the cheapest and tiniest of the current Toyota fleet. Neil also riffs on Klingons, Frank Sinatra, and an troublesome echo from Detroit that may be bouncing back to haunt the perhaps soon-to-be numero uno automaker. – Mike Bumbeck More »

1:45 PM on Thu Mar 22 2007
By Mike Bumbeck
1,058 views, 14 comments

Latest by TPSreports: Having driven both a Toyota Yaris hatchback and a Honda Fit, I have to agree with Mr Neil. more »

news

It's Completely Mad: Clarkson on the Lamborghini LP640

That Jeremy Clarkson writes about cars by writing about other cars is about as predictable as an iron-gray sky and slight drizzle over Leeds. But even ol' Jezzah must have broken the soft-launch threshold in his latest Times piece. He doesn't mention the subject Lamborghini LP640 by name before word 786. And then, he lambastes its smart all-wheel-drive setup as "such a dim-witted set-up that you're usually going backwards before it's noticed the rear has lost traction." But in the end, with about a score of words left, he compares the alacantara steering wheel to dog fur and evokes the name of M torhead's Lemmy. And it's a positive review. Like digging for sushi-grade clams, this one. – Mike Spinelli More »

1:45 PM on Mon Mar 12 2007
By Mike Spinelli
960 views, 3 comments

Latest by Turboner: MGB- add in the fact that all those jokers bagging on a Z06 probably couldn't even afford it, let alone a Lambo of any type, and you have irony. The Z06 is going to be the only affordable supercar more »

test drives

Top Gear: Clarkson on the Lamborghini Murcielago LP640

Wherein Mister Clarkson and Master The Stig take on the bowel-loosening Lambo LP640 and live to tell the tale. – Davey G. Johnson More »

5:00 PM on Mon Feb 26 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
2,279 views, 7 comments

test drives

I Am The Gert: Riding Shotgun In A Se7en Over Decker Canyon

For part 47 of "Why My Job Is Better than Your Job," I direct your attention to how I spent my Saturday. Turns out that Jalopnik blabbermouth commenter and all around righteous dude Al Navarro is president of USA7s.com, a new club dedicated to all cars inspired by the legendary Lotus 7. He sent the Postfather a query wondering if any of us So-Cal Jalopnikos would be interested in riding a Se7en around Decker Canyon. I was screaming "YES!" at the top of my lungs. At 6:30 am. On a Tuesday. Alone in my room. I was all set to get whipped about the mountains in a Caterham by a man named Doug when freak weather caused the "Malibu Blizzard." Stupid global warming. My fantastic hoonage ride was delayed. More for those who dare to jump. More »

Feature

12:00 PM on Mon Feb 12 2007
By Jonny Lieberman
1,762 views, 17 comments

Latest by Al Navarro: John, send me your email address via gardenstatesevens.org...I think I have a line on an SB100 car for you. more »

news

Dan Neil on the XKR

The most recent iteration of Jaguar's legendary XK line has been divisive at the very least. Some call it beautiful. Some cry "Ovoid Taurus" and others "carp." In his review of Jag's uprated GT car, Dan Neil admits to not being sure about the XK at first, but begins to warm to its design, commenting, "Maybe the effect is less aerodynamic than Jungian: This is the shape of a coveted thing slipping through your fingers." And while we argree that the 3/4 view of the car is quite nice, from head on, it still looks like a hip-hop-obsessed lamprey chugged a 40 of pure quinine. – Davey G. Johnson More »

6:45 PM on Sat Feb 3 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
142 views, 8 comments

Latest by Tom Chambers over Mark Jackson: Why does it have a "1" on the side of it? more »

test drives

Clarkson Pits XKR vs. AMV8

Now that the Hamster is repaired and the Top Gear boys are back to making television, we can dispense with the flipping jet car business and get back to giggling over egregious examples of hoonage — which is pretty much what Clarkson spends his time in the Jaguar XKR doing. He then sics it on its hotter half-sister, the Aston V8 Vantage, in a sans-Richard Dawson episode of Family Feud, usefully pointing out that the new EU booster seat mandate has now largely made 2+2 coupes too cramped in the back for the only people small enough to fit there — children. – Davey G. Johnson More »

9:00 PM on Mon Jan 29 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
579 views, 17 comments

Latest by mullinspj: I am a Brit living and working in Florida. I have always loved Jags, I have an 1967 E-Type Drophead which I keep in the UK. I brought a 1998 XK8 when they first came out and more »

commentary

Clarkson on the M6 Convertible

Americans have been giving each other what-for since the beginning. After some fits and starts, a dash of Manifest Destiny here and there and some border clashes with unruly people of French descent and Spanish/Native ancestry, we mostly got on with the process of being annoyed with each other and banding together for a war on foreign soil now and then. Yeah, there was that conflict that inspired Across Five Aprils and now and then we shoot our presidents. But Europe's got a different issue. More »

3:15 PM on Tue Jan 23 2007
By Davey G. Johnson
259 views, 22 comments

Latest by Turboner: Where's the torque? Buried under all that mass? more »