Everyone in Chicago, please, stop what you’re doing right now. There’s an emergency, and we need everybody’s help. A man’s Tesla Model X has been shat upon, and we must help find this rampaging car-shitter, who is still at large. At least, that’s what this Craigslist ad tells us.
Owning your own car company has a lot of little-considered benefits: all the slightly-damaged car seats you want for napping, easy access to stacks of tires to build forts, and the ability to cancel any customer’s order just because you don’t like them. Guess which one Elon Musk just took advantage of?
Good Morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the important stories you need to know.
Last night we got confirmation that electric automaker Tesla Motors was developing two new vehicles, rumored to be called the “Model 3" and “Model Y” to slot between the current Model S and Model X. S.3.X.Y.
I didn’t before, but I now love NASCAR. Over the past couple of years, I’ve had the good fortune to hang around some of the finest engineers, builders, crew chiefs, and mechanics in all of NASCAR. (Plus one middling PR drone.) What I have learned about the science, engineering, and technology required to make a stock…
The weird thing about the road trip of the future is that it’s much more like the road trips we used to take in our past than anything else. My coworkers and I just did 1400-odd miles in an electric Tesla Model S that could also drive itself. It wasn’t just the trip of the future. It was the way things used to be, too.
Autonomous cars are just now barely starting to end up on our roads, in limited numbers and in limited ways. For now. We’re in an interesting transitional period, and there’s still lots of things we have to figure out. I think I have an idea that could help, and it’s as simple as a dumb old light.
Luxe, a valet parking app for your phone, has now partnered up with Tesla Motors in San Francisco and New York City to meet Tesla owners at their destination and do everything like park, wash, and charge the car for them—because the future is all about having nothing to do with your car, apparently.
An article titled How Elon Musk Stole My Car certainly suggests some things. Things like, maybe Elon Musk stole a dude’s car. It’s safe to say Musk doesn’t really fit the carjacker profile, so what’s going on here, exactly? Did Elon Musk steal a guy’s car, or is this an aggrandized misunderstanding?
The other night, I walked my car like a dog. Well, it wasn’t my car. It was Tesla’s own Model S. Here’s how it works.
If you want to buy a Tesla that doesn’t have airbags filled with moist, succulent ground beef or a dash covered in the finest Nova Scotia salmon, you’re in luck, because the Tesla Model X will be available in vegan-friendly trim. PETA is claiming this is in response to them, but Tesla disagrees.
On Saturday, we learned of the new v7.1 software release on the Tesla Model S—an update allowing owners to summon the car like a well-trained dog and make it park itself. But it’s not that weird, according to Tesla head honcho Elon Musk. He says we could see fully autonomous cars in a matter of two to three years.
Yes, THE FUTURE. Where everything goes “FWOOM” and “BEEP.” Or, in this case, where it’s oddly silent. Because over the next two days, we’re going to be driving over 700 miles, from New York to Detroit, in a Tesla Model S. And we want you to come with us.
When Tesla Motors announced fourth quarter sales figures for 2015, many were surprised to see only 208 of the brand new Model X all-electric crossovers were delivered to customers. The number seems low, but Tesla promises the Model X release is a matter of quality, not quantity.
Tesla Motors delivered more than 50,000 cars (or 50,580, to be exact) for the first time in 2015, which is better than not bad for a “startup.” How’s the Model X doing? There’s a couple hundred on the road already, thanks for asking.
Mercedes-Benz wants to dominate the electric car industry, and Tesla Motors is standing in their way. According to a story in the UK’s Car Magazine, this is how the German automaker plans to zap Elon Musk.
I adore Tesla’s cars, but I am not always enthused with their owners.
Earlier today, CNBC’s Fast Money invited Jalopnik on the show to talk Tesla Motors, so we drew straws and sent Michael Ballaban—mostly because he was the only one with a clean suit and a trimmed beard.
What do you do when you get a Tesla P85D just for one day? You tap the screen on the right side for Insane Mode and start wondering about why humanity gave up on gasoline-powered vacuum cleaners so easily.