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Detroit, 5:52 AM
Wed Nov 25
23 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #techart more →

    The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes

    TECHART Bringing 680 HP Magnum Cayenne S To Geneva

    Techart Adds 660 HP GTstreetR To Porsche 911 Tuner Stable

    700 HP TechArt GTstreet RS, Because The Porsche 911 GT2 Is Too Slow

    Lewis Hamilton Does Los Angeles In A Techart Porsche

    TechArt Drops The Top On 630 HP GTstreet Porsche 997 Turbo For Geneva

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    Stolen Porsche Development Center Engines Found At TechArt Garage?
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    Hey, I like the blue one (#4, RUF Dakara). It looks like Porsche. It has proper, ROUND headlights (read: not amorphic blobs) The rest suck.
     Reply
    Edited by Plecostomus [Tyrrell] at 07/20/09 9:14 PM Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of GV_Goat GV_Goat
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    I often find myself polarized by the Cayenne. Half the time I like them, half I don't. Always seems to come down to wheel and tire selection. They CAN be done tastefully; attractively. But, usually, any attempt to "spruce" them up ends in fugly. And why so many gilled air intakes? Less is more people... especially on the Cayenne.
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment GV_Goat was starred GV_Goat was unstarred
    Image of HoubaHouba! HoubaHouba!
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    This is exactly the same slide show that will appear under the headline "The Ten Best Looking Custom Porsche Cayennes".
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment HoubaHouba! was starred HoubaHouba! was unstarred
    Image of CptSevere CptSevere
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    The two foulest are the Russian ones, closely followed by the Indian Shiva God of Chaos. The Russians need to stay with what they make best, scary post-apocalyptic mud machines and tall blondes with exotic accents. Everything else looks just plain bizarre.
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment CptSevere was starred CptSevere was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    Introducing..the Porsche Aztek!
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    The TECHART (#1 or #10, depending on which numbering you want to use) is the only one that at least doesn't look any worse than the Factory Cayenne.

    Still doesn't look good, but...
     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of TimTim TimTim
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    This "Top" ten makes me yearn for the Panamera... Not because I like the Panamera, but because it will give us what all these tuners are attempting: a 4-door road warrior from Porsche. Then maybe we can start to see some Cayennes with lift kits, trimmed fenders clearing 35's, rock sliders and winch bumpers. I'd like to see more of these in Baja, the Dakar Rally, Moab, and Glamis.
     Reply
    TimTim was starred TimTim was unstarred
    Image of Alphamazing Alphamazing
    07/20/09

    @TimTim: So basically... the Cayenne Transyberia? Availible now from Porsche?
     Reply
    TimTim promoted this comment Alphamazing was starred Alphamazing was unstarred
    Image of TimTim TimTim
    07/20/09

    @Alphamazing: Yes, that's a step in the right direction... we can check Dakar and maybe Baja off the list. But there's still plenty of ground to be covered.
     Reply
    TimTim was starred TimTim was unstarred
    Image of Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig)
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    One conspicuous omission...The Cannabis Edition from Russia's GT-A tuners:

    http://jalopnik.com/346463/high-times-coty-porsche-cayenne-turbo-cannabis

    Also, wasn't there some horrible dragon-esque Cayenne once upon a time? Or was that a Touareg or X5 or something. It's burned in my brain, but I can't find it.
     Reply
    Edited by Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) at 07/20/09 1:18 PM Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was starred Das ASHloch (achtundsiebzig) was unstarred
    Image of PowerTryp, Starless wonder. PowerTryp, Starless wonder.
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    Warning: Viewing this page may cause instant onset blindness.


    Shame on you Mathew Hardigree
     Reply
    Maymar is breaking in the commenting system like a new pair of socks promoted this comment PowerTryp, Starless wonder. was starred PowerTryp, Starless wonder. was unstarred
    Image of SuperVette....Chevette SuperVette....Chevette
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    I just wanted to thank Jalopnik today for this article.

    I now have an excuse to go home sick....
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment SuperVette....Chevette was starred SuperVette....Chevette was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    How did you narrow it down to just ten?
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Maymar Maymar
    07/20/09

    @pauljones: It's like picking the ten worst serial killers.
     Reply
    Maymar was starred Maymar was unstarred
    Image of LuciferV8 LuciferV8
    02/27/09

    In reply to TECHART Bringing 680 HP Magnum Cayenne S To Geneva
    When you absolutely, positively, HAVE to get the kids to soccer practice on time...
     Reply
    LuciferV8 was starred LuciferV8 was unstarred
    Image of damnelantra™ damnelantra™
    02/27/09

    @LuciferV8: but then why not spring for a volvo. computers now allow you to be an inattentive dick and the car will supposedly save your ass.


    hell you dont even have to step on the brake peddle anymore. makes me feel safe!

     Reply
    damnelantra™ was starred damnelantra™ was unstarred
    Image of dwegmull comments for the purpose of obscurity dwegmull comments for the purpose of obscurity
    02/27/09

    In reply to TECHART Bringing 680 HP Magnum Cayenne S To Geneva
    All the references to Magnum keep my brain thinking about the Dodge Magnum... I'm not sure if this is good or bad.
     Reply
    dwegmull comments for the purpose of obscurity was starred dwegmull comments for the purpose of obscurity was unstarred
    Image of engineerd engineerd
    02/27/09

    In reply to TECHART Bringing 680 HP Magnum Cayenne S To Geneva
    From the ePRS (patent pending):


    We have nifty lights that dim based on the ambient lighting or when your turn signal is on. The rest of the time, expect others on the road to be distracted by your LED bonanza.


    We have nifty seats with air conditioning so you don't get swamp ass.


    We have an "aerodynamics" package and wheels that manage to avoid the boyracer look.


    We have a suspension lowering system that let ride low and slow or, for that one time you might go on gravel, high. Overall travel is an impressive 110 mm.


    We also give you engine modifications including electronics, air filter, turbo, oil and water performance, manifolds, cat, pipes, and throttle which boost power to 680hp and torques to 900 Nm. An optics kit puts some shiny carbon under the hood.

     Reply
    engineerd was starred engineerd was unstarred
    Image of Boosted Lego Wagon Boosted Lego Wagon
    02/27/09

    In reply to TECHART Bringing 680 HP Magnum Cayenne S To Geneva
    "TECHART meets the highest standards in comfort and individuality with the exclusive
    de Sede of Switzerland range of interiors."


    In contrast, the seats in my old Escort were designed my de Sade. Of Dearborn.

     Reply
    Boosted Lego Wagon was starred Boosted Lego Wagon was unstarred
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