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Detroit, 8:21 PM
Fri Dec 11
29 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update

    Biker Busted For Speeding Tries To Fight The Law And Guess Who Won
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of FrankRizzo FrankRizzo
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    OK Guys, get this. I work with a guy who is a motorcycle racing instructor. He KNOWS this tool IRL.


    He says that the toolage showed in the video is indicative of how he lives his life. He tells a story about him and his racing buds being fresh from the track, sitting in a coffee shop when this tool rides up and begins telling the hardened racers about how fast he is. And then, when a jeep full of girls goes by, he hops on his bike to go find them, and forgets that he has the lock through the brake rotor. He pops a wheelie, and rides it for a moment, before dropping the front wheel, and flipping. He gets up like it was nothing, takes the lock off, and takes off again. When they see him next, both sides of the bike are road rashed to hell and back. He chased them through a canyon, and when the road went right, he locked the brakes (because of the damage to the rotor from the previous crash), and dumped the bike. He gets it back up, and continues on, only to wipe out the OTHER side of the bike on the next corner, because he's forgotten that the brakes don't work properly, and dumps it AGAIN!


    tl:dr: He's as big a tool in real life as you all THINK he is.

     Reply
    FrankRizzo was starred FrankRizzo was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    12/15/08

    @FrankRizzo:


    Someone needs to follow this guy around with a video camera AT ALL TIMES.


    I would pay to see that.

     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    12/16/08

    @FrankRizzo: So what you're saying is, the guy used to be 6'2" and he's just been grinding himself down.
     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    NEXT WEEK ON FOX TELEVISION:


    WHEN GOOD OOMPA-LOOMPAS GO BAD!




    Come here little boy... You want some CAANNNDEE little boy???

     Reply
    POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was starred POLAЯ ON PЯOBATION was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    So now he can change his nickname from "Shorty" Ward to "Shorteyes" Ward.


    And of course the worst tragedy about child molesters and child porno is that they never, never stop until they are dead or in jail.


    Have fun in prison, Shorty. You know you're going to end up in the big house.

     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper
    12/15/08

    @NovaloadMissesPolar: From what I hear, other prisoners tend to single out child molesters for violence in prison, so this guy might not live very long; whether his end comes from the motorcycle or a sharpened toothbrush remains to be seen.
     Reply
    discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was starred discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was unstarred
    Image of nollid51 nollid51
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    I'm shocked, I thought he was a real stand up guy.
     Reply
    nollid51 was starred nollid51 was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    12/15/08

    @nollid51: He IS standing up...
    he's just short.
     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of damnelantra™ damnelantra™
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    so this is the reputation he needed so badly to uphold?
     Reply
    damnelantra™ was starred damnelantra™ was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    I'd like to point out that as losertastic as Mr. Ward is, he's still able to raise the bar - he can't lure children directly to him with candy. He has to buy the pictures of somebody else doing it.


    Sure he's a tool - but not a power tool.


    He's a slef-powered hand-job tool.

     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho.
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    Just a small point, but why would they even have a field on there for what gender his CHILD VICTIM was? That seems pretty fucked up.
     Reply
    Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. was starred Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, cube farmer Ash78, cube farmer
    12/15/08

    @Landau_Calrissian: Ahhh, yes...preying on society's notion that sexual orientation trumps the actual criminal deviance.
     Reply
    Ash78, cube farmer was starred Ash78, cube farmer was unstarred
    Image of Bumblebee Bumblebee
    12/15/08

    @Landau_Calrissian: So people (i.e. parents) know what type of children he targets. It's too bad it doesn't list the age of his victim.
     Reply
    Bumblebee was starred Bumblebee was unstarred
    Image of Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho.
    12/15/08

    @Bumblebee: It seems like guys like that probably aren't too discriminating though, seeing as how he risked (and took) the federal bid for it and all. This is a guy that would have lots of "accidents" until he moved out of most neighborhoods.
     Reply
    Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. was starred Landau_Calrissian loves our President Camacho. was unstarred
    Image of P161911 probably shoudn't have P161911 probably shoudn't have
    12/15/08

    @Landau_Calrissian: My guess is that this was a federal case because he was recieveing material through the US mail. Guess he couldn't figure out the internet in 2001.
     Reply
    P161911 probably shoudn't have was starred P161911 probably shoudn't have was unstarred
    Image of Bumblebee Bumblebee
    12/15/08

    @Landau_Calrissian: I dunno. I tend to think people with that particular proclivity are especially discriminating, given all the effort it takes to commit the crime.
     Reply
    Bumblebee was starred Bumblebee was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/16/08

    @Landau_Calrissian: It's just in case he's gay. Because, you know, you can't trust those gays. They have to keep that on the profile, in case the police find him when he's cut himself; that way the police know to wear gloves so they don't catch The Gay as well. It's contagious, you know. I learned that in church.
     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Dr. H. F. Danger Dr. H. F. Danger
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    Vernon R Ward, #1 on google for perviness.


    Way to win dude.


    If I saw this dude in person, I would smash him with a tire iron.

     Reply
    Dr. H. F. Danger was starred Dr. H. F. Danger was unstarred
    Image of LTDScott LTDScott
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    What's a pederast, Walter?
     Reply
    LTDScott was starred LTDScott was unstarred
    Image of howman howman
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    This guy has Fail written all over him, (perhaps even as a tatoo), unfortunately with an asshat this big, they usually help fail people unlucky enough to be around them.
     Reply
    howman was starred howman was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    12/15/08

    @howman: If you spell fail "MAGHINE", it's on his belly.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    The guy has short man's syndrome written all over him, probably literally.
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of mytdawg mytdawg
    12/15/08

    @mytdawg: And that observation comes from a 5'6" guy... I drink to make up for my shortcomings.
     Reply
    mytdawg was starred mytdawg was unstarred
    Image of P161911 probably shoudn't have P161911 probably shoudn't have
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    You can also check his vehicle registrations online. Looks like the only wheels that he has are the two slighly dented Suzuki ones.
     Reply
    P161911 probably shoudn't have was starred P161911 probably shoudn't have was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    This guy just personifies "win". I mean, if you're going to do wrong shit, you have to get caught. Otherwise, how will everyone know what a bad ass you are.


    Getting away with shit won't earn you any street-cred, this guy knows how to do it right.


    You know this guy at age 43 wakes up, looks at himself in the mirror, and says, "yeah, that's how it's done."


    Notoriety is like being a movie star, but without any of the pressure to "be a good role model", or "stay out of jail".


    Someone get this dude SLR guy's number. They should hang out.

     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of layabout layabout
    12/15/08

    @smalleyxb122: I say make SLR guy & Bad liitle dude have a cage fight to the death,the winner gets to be shot. In the end we all win.
     Reply
    layabout was starred layabout was unstarred
    Image of layabout layabout
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    So they didn't notice his "big enough to bleed,big enough to butcher" tattoo?
     Reply
    layabout was starred layabout was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, cube farmer Ash78, cube farmer
    12/15/08

    In reply to Still One Bad Little Dude: Hoon Of The Day Update
    I always wondered what the union dues included when joining the Lollipop Guild.
     Reply
    Ash78, cube farmer was starred Ash78, cube farmer was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    12/15/08

    @The Name's Ash78, Housewares: WIN
     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
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