OK Guys, get this. I work with a guy who is a motorcycle racing instructor. He KNOWS this tool IRL.
He says that the toolage showed in the video is indicative of how he lives his life. He tells a story about him and his racing buds being fresh from the track, sitting in a coffee shop when this tool rides up and begins telling the hardened racers about how fast he is. And then, when a jeep full of girls goes by, he hops on his bike to go find them, and forgets that he has the lock through the brake rotor. He pops a wheelie, and rides it for a moment, before dropping the front wheel, and flipping. He gets up like it was nothing, takes the lock off, and takes off again. When they see him next, both sides of the bike are road rashed to hell and back. He chased them through a canyon, and when the road went right, he locked the brakes (because of the damage to the rotor from the previous crash), and dumped the bike. He gets it back up, and continues on, only to wipe out the OTHER side of the bike on the next corner, because he's forgotten that the brakes don't work properly, and dumps it AGAIN!
tl:dr: He's as big a tool in real life as you all THINK he is.
@NovaloadMissesPolar: From what I hear, other prisoners tend to single out child molesters for violence in prison, so this guy might not live very long; whether his end comes from the motorcycle or a sharpened toothbrush remains to be seen.
discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was starred
discontinuuity is tentatively testing the waters of Murlopnik Weekend before plunging again into the fridgid waters that are Jalopnik proper was unstarred
I'd like to point out that as losertastic as Mr. Ward is, he's still able to raise the bar - he can't lure children directly to him with candy. He has to buy the pictures of somebody else doing it.
@Bumblebee: It seems like guys like that probably aren't too discriminating though, seeing as how he risked (and took) the federal bid for it and all. This is a guy that would have lots of "accidents" until he moved out of most neighborhoods.
@Landau_Calrissian: My guess is that this was a federal case because he was recieveing material through the US mail. Guess he couldn't figure out the internet in 2001.
@Landau_Calrissian: I dunno. I tend to think people with that particular proclivity are especially discriminating, given all the effort it takes to commit the crime.
@Landau_Calrissian: It's just in case he's gay. Because, you know, you can't trust those gays. They have to keep that on the profile, in case the police find him when he's cut himself; that way the police know to wear gloves so they don't catch The Gay as well. It's contagious, you know. I learned that in church.
This guy has Fail written all over him, (perhaps even as a tatoo), unfortunately with an asshat this big, they usually help fail people unlucky enough to be around them.
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred
Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
This guy just personifies "win". I mean, if you're going to do wrong shit, you have to get caught. Otherwise, how will everyone know what a bad ass you are.
Getting away with shit won't earn you any street-cred, this guy knows how to do it right.
You know this guy at age 43 wakes up, looks at himself in the mirror, and says, "yeah, that's how it's done."
Notoriety is like being a movie star, but without any of the pressure to "be a good role model", or "stay out of jail".
Someone get this dude SLR guy's number. They should hang out.
12/15/08
He says that the toolage showed in the video is indicative of how he lives his life. He tells a story about him and his racing buds being fresh from the track, sitting in a coffee shop when this tool rides up and begins telling the hardened racers about how fast he is. And then, when a jeep full of girls goes by, he hops on his bike to go find them, and forgets that he has the lock through the brake rotor. He pops a wheelie, and rides it for a moment, before dropping the front wheel, and flipping. He gets up like it was nothing, takes the lock off, and takes off again. When they see him next, both sides of the bike are road rashed to hell and back. He chased them through a canyon, and when the road went right, he locked the brakes (because of the damage to the rotor from the previous crash), and dumped the bike. He gets it back up, and continues on, only to wipe out the OTHER side of the bike on the next corner, because he's forgotten that the brakes don't work properly, and dumps it AGAIN!
tl:dr: He's as big a tool in real life as you all THINK he is.
12/15/08
Someone needs to follow this guy around with a video camera AT ALL TIMES.
I would pay to see that.
12/16/08
12/15/08
WHEN GOOD OOMPA-LOOMPAS GO BAD!
Come here little boy... You want some CAANNNDEE little boy???
12/15/08
And of course the worst tragedy about child molesters and child porno is that they never, never stop until they are dead or in jail.
Have fun in prison, Shorty. You know you're going to end up in the big house.
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he's just short.
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Sure he's a tool - but not a power tool.
He's a slef-powered hand-job tool.
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Way to win dude.
If I saw this dude in person, I would smash him with a tire iron.
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Getting away with shit won't earn you any street-cred, this guy knows how to do it right.
You know this guy at age 43 wakes up, looks at himself in the mirror, and says, "yeah, that's how it's done."
Notoriety is like being a movie star, but without any of the pressure to "be a good role model", or "stay out of jail".
Someone get this dude SLR guy's number. They should hang out.
12/15/08
12/15/08
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12/15/08