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Detroit, 2:22 AM
Sun Nov 8
6 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/05/09
That's like taunting death.
I like it. #subaru
11/05/09
I wonder if it could fit in the back of my van? #subaru
11/05/09
...and this van is a little cutie. I once saw a picture of the pickup version hoisted into the bed of a full-size Ford truck. They're insanely small.
I dare anyone to not like a rear-engined, two stroke, suicide-doored, forward control kei van with an amusing slogan. It's very... Jalopnik. #subaru
11/05/09
I know the Mystery Machine would be more accurate, but I never really liked Scooby Doo.
*or a first gen Scion xB. #subaru
11/04/09
11/04/09
My bottom line: I want a Tucker. Cd: 0.27. Name a modern car that can match _that_. #uglycars
11/04/09
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11/04/09
;-D #uglycars
11/05/09
11/04/09
And also a Seven. #uglycars
11/03/09
I think that's a challenge.
Oh Wartburg 353, how do I wuv thee, wet me count da ways...
1.) You are red. Red is the most awesome color ever. It's in sunsets, fire, fire engines, clown noses, and ketchup. It's also a popular sports car color. Shame on BusinessWeek for hating on not one, but six red cars.
2.) The engine. It's a two stroke with just seven moving parts. SEVEN. I can count that on my fingers, even after the heavy casualties Lefty took in the Battle of Cannes-Opener. I can even wiggle my fingers to signify that they are moving parts. Spirit fingers go!
3.) It was made in East Germany. I mean, the country no longer exists. People love orphaned cars, right? Except in this case, not just the company went under, it was the whole communist block. I mean it would be like if Yugoslavia had made a hip-to-be-square car before it went away. Oh wait...
4.) It was made for twenty three years. In East Germany. It's like the Wartburg 353 and the Volkswagen Beetle were sisters. All the boys chased the curvy, older, just-wanna-have-fun Beetle, while the poor young tag-along Wartburg got stuck with the embarrassing name, the thick geek glasses, and 23 years of braces. Poor underdog. Gotta love them underdogs!
5.) The fact that the jalopnik article ([jalopnik.com]), the businessweek article, and the wikipedia page ([en.wikipedia.org]) all have the same picture of the car. It's like only one of them existed to be photographed, meaning it must be SUPER RARE!!!
So BusinessWeek, you suck for saying a rare underdog red car with an awesome engine that comes from East Germany is ugly, and then copying your picture straight from wikipedia, without checking your facts and realizing how wrong you are. I'm subscribing to you just so I can cancel my subscription!
11/03/09
11/04/09
First of all: <3
Second of all: ?
I haven't seen anything specifically about Wartburgs having Duroplast bodies, only Trabants. They COULD be Duroplast though.
Still, another thing to add to ze list...
6.) Traburgs. A three-cylinder engine is swapped INTO a car rather than OUT OF it. Who does that!? And when does it result in such an awkward name!? #uglycars
11/04/09
11/04/09
11/04/09
@Jim-Bob: The resemblance... #uglycars
11/04/09
@Plasma X: ...is eerie. I see what you're saying, but it's only in the front fascia.
11/04/09
11/04/09
11/03/09
I am now officially boycotting you and withdrawing my support and fandom due to your relationship with Monster Energy Drinks. Monster Energy Drinks has been undertaking frivolous lawsuits to protect their copyright and trademarks, but have done so at the expense of both free speech and common sense. Targets of Monster Energy Drinks have been a Vermont wine maker, a beverage review website, and an actual movie monster.
I respectfully ask that you cease any and all partnerships with Monster Energy Drink immediately. I sincerely hope your image does not want to be tarnished by such ludicrous actions of Monster Energy Drink.
Sincerely
A Former Fan. #kenblock
11/03/09
(reads up on issue in question)
Son of a...okay, I'm with you on this.
And you know what ticks me about it? I like Hansen's. Not Monster - I'd drink fermented goat pee first - but their ginger ale is one of the better ones. So there it is, Hansen's.
But good luck getting Block to get away from Monster. It's the biggest logo on the car. #kenblock
11/05/09
I did feel JB's stock as a potential F1 champion went down when got got Monster'ed. I mean, when you're already making several million pounds (even if that was a several million pound pay cut) do you really, really need to let the Monster cartel give you coke and whore money? I could be wrong of course.
Monster Energy is the iquid version of Monster Cable - and people would do wise to deprive them of business. #kenblock
11/06/09
11/03/09
Video though made me have a change of heart. Looks bad ass! Though the wheel wells are a bit odd looking. #kenblock
11/03/09
11/03/09
How can he include the Lightburn Zeta? Everyone knows the Lightburn Zeta Sports was the ugly one! #uglycars
11/03/09
Some of the cars on their list actually are pretty damn ugly. That said, can anyone with a straight face say that an El Camino is uglier than this? #uglycars
11/03/09
11/03/09
The Tata Nano is strange yet appealing, the Ferrari Enzo is very bold yet nicely proportioned, and one of this young century's most desirable cars, and the Plymouth Prowler is nice to look at, but would have benefited from a V8 or even a turbo'd four or V6.
The Lamborghini LM002 is an acquired taste for sure, but a fast and comfy one at that, the DeLorean DMC12 is easily one of the Malaise era's best designs, the best car to come out of Northern Ireland save the Crossle Formula Ford race cars, and was engineered in part by Colin Chapman, and the Subaru Brat is what washed the rancid tastes of 360 and FF1 out of Americans' mouths in the 70s and went on to make Subaru a household name.
The Aston Martin Lagonda is not for everyone in many ways, but is a stellar alternative to a Rolls or Bentley, the Volvo 240 is reliable, safe, comfortable, makes a great first car (or LeMons racer) and lasts nearly forever, the Bricklin was dramatic and had proven mechanicals, but was the answer to a question no one asked, and the El Camino was and is a great design and ideal for someone who needs or wants a truck but doesn't want a full-size rig or even a compact.
Oh, and a financial magazine should NEVER write anything about cars. It's just not their field of expertise. #uglycars
11/03/09
11/03/09
11/03/09
Now I could understand that the ordering was off. #uglycars