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58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring
Detroit, 1:23 AM
Thu Dec 3
32 posts in the last 24 hours
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58-Year-Old Hans-Joachim Stuck Returns To Race At 12 Hours of Sebring |
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03/18/09
/lame incontinence jokes.
03/18/09
(part one, part two)
SCENE: Late at night. Clouds pass in front of a full moon, and a wolf's howl can be heard on the wind. A rusty sign creaks in the breeze. The sign reads "Sebring--Pit Row." KRISTJáN EINAR pulls his track suit collar tighter against the breeze and looks around the deserted pits. He turns suddenly when he hears a voice from the shadows. HANS-JOACHIM STUCK enters, stage right.
STUCK: She's a beauty, ay? In a few days she'll be buzzin' like a teenage boy's pants at a co-ed wrestlin' match. But now? Now she's quiet...like the morgue before a train wreck.
EINAR: Who are you?
STUCK: I'm like the darkness that lives in your soul, that never lets you forgive the things that have been done to you, nor forget the things that you've done. I'm like the wind in your ear, whisperin' 'faster, boy. Faster.' I'm like ever'thing you've ever wanted, an' nothin' you can have.
EINAR: You're a racer?
STUCK: Racer ain't nothin' but a man that fits a desk like a horse fits a pervert. You can cram 'im in there, but in the end ain't nobody gonna be happy.
EINAR: Do you mind if I ask you a question?
STUCK: Question? Question's like a woman. Just cuz she's asked don't mean you can't roll over and go back to sleep.
EINAR (disgusted): Oh God. I just got the horse one.
STUCK (smiles and nods)
EINAR: How do you do it? How can you last this long without selling out? Without doing...things...you're ashamed of, just for a seat and a stick, and a needle headed to redline?
STUCK: You don't do it, kid. It does you. But sometimes...well, sometimes you just gotta feed the dragon.
HANS-JOACHIM STUCK slowly melts into the shadows. The slurred yelling of RAY WERT can suddenly be heard off in the distance.
WERT: Einar? Where you at you little Icelandic minx? Poppa gotta get paid…
Camera closes in on KRISTJáN EINAR.
A solitary tear rolls down his cheek.
03/18/09
03/18/09
Do they keep a cooler and 6 pack of Evian in there for the endurance races? Is there room for a sandwich?
03/18/09
Carry over to tradition and the old rules... Thankfully they don't have to carry spare tires anymore!
03/18/09
03/18/09
03/18/09
I read in Motorsport that HJ Stuck looked forward to competing in the 24 Hours of the Nurburgring in 2011 with both of his sons. Stuck, Stuck and Stuck FTW!
[www.hansstuck.com]
03/18/09
Go TDI Power and Ass-engined Nazi slot cars!
03/18/09
This is what I use....
[www.tvracer.com]
03/18/09
03/18/09
Looks like Audi has built another strong contender. They may have their hands full with Peugot and Aston this time. Hope I can catch some of that race.
03/18/09
The eldest driver on our LeMons team is more the double the age of our youngest. But even at 56, he can more than manage!
03/18/09
"Take that you young whipper snappers!"
03/18/09
03/18/09
03/18/09
Or I'll be dead because I finally got to build one of my dream creations.
I like option 2.
03/18/09
03/18/09
That, obviously, wouldn't be the goal. Just a side affect of the insanity that either of those would present.
Although, by the way I've lived, I figure if I make it to 35 I should be pretty much invincible.
03/18/09
Seems like something you might want to do.
03/18/09
BTW, I like the Cryllic-ized version of your name.