Danica Patrick takes a lot of flack from race fans because she gets an insane amount of media attention and doesn't necessarily earn the results on track to match. Well, get ready to be angry again because she was on The Colbert Report last night.

After being named one of Maxim's "Hot 100," Comedy Central news anchor Stephen Colbert said he's now hotter than most people's girlfriends. But the Kronkite of comedy said he isn't done getting awards. He wants to be Motor Trend's "Car of the Year."

This is the Morning Shift, our one-stop daily roundup of all the auto news that's actually important — all in one place at 9:00 AM. Or, you could spend all day waiting for other sites to parcel it out to you one story at a time. Isn't your time more important?

On tonight's Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert told a personal story that elucidated everything that is right with America: on his way into work this morning, he captured a dude popping wheelies on his motor bike while driving through the Lincoln Tunnel. It's an amazing personal testament to all that is right with our…

None other than old Jalopnik friend Stephen Colbert showed up for the North American debut of the Audi A7. Apparently, Audi is sponsoring his boat in a race from Charleston to Bermuda. Awesome cameo is awesome.

Once upon a time, young Stephen Colbert went searching for Mr. Goodwrench, the iconic GM mechanic who could fix any breakdown - as if GM vehicles had them! Now that Mr. Goodwrench has been downsized, Colbert admits to his whereabouts.

In a move to continue and distance itself from its corporate heritage, General Motors is dropping the 36-year-old Goodwrench car mechanic brand in the United States. Somewhere, we're certain, Stephen Colbert is crying.

As far as The Colbert Report's concerned, we must be the web site obsessed with the cult of car phallus. First, for Hummers and last night, for our sumptuous Russian whale penis leather interior. Whatever works, right? [TheColbertReport (14:20 in)]