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Detroit, 3:35 AM
Sat Dec 5
26 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #statusdesign more →

    The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes

    Status Design Porsche Cayenne Biggest Russian Failure Since Glasnost
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Plecostomus [Tyrrell] Plecostomus [Tyrrell]
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    Hey, I like the blue one (#4, RUF Dakara). It looks like Porsche. It has proper, ROUND headlights (read: not amorphic blobs) The rest suck.
     Reply
    Edited by Plecostomus [Tyrrell] at 07/20/09 9:14 PM Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was starred Plecostomus [Tyrrell] was unstarred
    Image of GV_Goat GV_Goat
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    I often find myself polarized by the Cayenne. Half the time I like them, half I don't. Always seems to come down to wheel and tire selection. They CAN be done tastefully; attractively. But, usually, any attempt to "spruce" them up ends in fugly. And why so many gilled air intakes? Less is more people... especially on the Cayenne.
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment GV_Goat was starred GV_Goat was unstarred
    Image of HoubaHouba! HoubaHouba!
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    This is exactly the same slide show that will appear under the headline "The Ten Best Looking Custom Porsche Cayennes".
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment HoubaHouba! was starred HoubaHouba! was unstarred
    Image of CptSevere CptSevere
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    The two foulest are the Russian ones, closely followed by the Indian Shiva God of Chaos. The Russians need to stay with what they make best, scary post-apocalyptic mud machines and tall blondes with exotic accents. Everything else looks just plain bizarre.
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment CptSevere was starred CptSevere was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    Introducing..the Porsche Aztek!
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of smalleyxb122 smalleyxb122
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    The TECHART (#1 or #10, depending on which numbering you want to use) is the only one that at least doesn't look any worse than the Factory Cayenne.

    Still doesn't look good, but...
     Reply
    smalleyxb122 was starred smalleyxb122 was unstarred
    Image of TimTim TimTim
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    This "Top" ten makes me yearn for the Panamera... Not because I like the Panamera, but because it will give us what all these tuners are attempting: a 4-door road warrior from Porsche. Then maybe we can start to see some Cayennes with lift kits, trimmed fenders clearing 35's, rock sliders and winch bumpers. I'd like to see more of these in Baja, the Dakar Rally, Moab, and Glamis.
     Reply
    TimTim was starred TimTim was unstarred
    Image of Alphamazing Alphamazing
    07/20/09

    @TimTim: So basically... the Cayenne Transyberia? Availible now from Porsche?
     Reply
    TimTim promoted this comment Alphamazing was starred Alphamazing was unstarred
    Image of TimTim TimTim
    07/20/09

    @Alphamazing: Yes, that's a step in the right direction... we can check Dakar and maybe Baja off the list. But there's still plenty of ground to be covered.
     Reply
    TimTim was starred TimTim was unstarred
    Image of Ash78, cube farmer Ash78, cube farmer
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    One conspicuous omission...The Cannabis Edition from Russia's GT-A tuners:

    http://jalopnik.com/346463/high-times-coty-porsche-cayenne-turbo-cannabis

    Also, wasn't there some horrible dragon-esque Cayenne once upon a time? Or was that a Touareg or X5 or something. It's burned in my brain, but I can't find it.
     Reply
    Edited by Ash78, cube farmer at 07/20/09 1:18 PM Ash78, cube farmer was starred Ash78, cube farmer was unstarred
    Image of PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party. PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party.
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    Warning: Viewing this page may cause instant onset blindness.


    Shame on you Mathew Hardigree
     Reply
    Maymar is breaking in the commenting system like a new pair of socks promoted this comment PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party. was starred PowerTryp is holding a Fiesta party. was unstarred
    Image of SuperVette....Chevette SuperVette....Chevette
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    I just wanted to thank Jalopnik today for this article.

    I now have an excuse to go home sick....
     Reply
    Al Navarro promoted this comment SuperVette....Chevette was starred SuperVette....Chevette was unstarred
    Image of pauljones pauljones
    07/20/09

    In reply to The Ten Ugliest Custom Porsche Cayennes
    How did you narrow it down to just ten?
     Reply
    pauljones was starred pauljones was unstarred
    Image of Maymar Maymar
    07/20/09

    @pauljones: It's like picking the ten worst serial killers.
     Reply
    Maymar was starred Maymar was unstarred
    Image of John Krewson John Krewson
    06/15/09

    In reply to Status Design Porsche Cayenne Biggest Russian Failure Since Glasnost
    But remember, if they did this to a Corvette a hundred Texans would line up with their deposits.
     Reply
    John Krewson was starred John Krewson was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/15/09

    @John Krewson: So now 100 Russian mobsters will line up with their cash deposits?
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of John Krewson John Krewson
    06/15/09

    @Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer: They may be a bunch of ruthless jowly thugs who disdain education and refinement, prop up their government with vapid puppets, substitute money for taste and answer every question with either loud yelling or brutal violence, but aside from that they have a lot to learn from Russian mobsters.
     Reply
    John Krewson was starred John Krewson was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/15/09

    @John Krewson: So they are just goddamn poseurs?
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    06/15/09

    In reply to Status Design Porsche Cayenne Biggest Russian Failure Since Glasnost
    What about Perestroika?


    Actually, nevermind. I'm rather afraid...

     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    06/15/09

    In reply to Status Design Porsche Cayenne Biggest Russian Failure Since Glasnost
    Now kids, remember, never drink vodka before designing a car.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of leavethegun-takethecannoli leavethegun-takethecannoli
    06/15/09

    In reply to Status Design Porsche Cayenne Biggest Russian Failure Since Glasnost
    I'm definitely in the wrong business.


    I have no taste, unless you count gaudy.
    I have no class.
    I have no idea what tact is.
    I have vision.


    I should be a automotive designer or own an electric car company.

     Reply
    leavethegun-takethecannoli was starred leavethegun-takethecannoli was unstarred
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