Accompanied by her wagon-sniffing poodles, she's found us this solid-looking Coronet station wagon in her neighborhood. While it was possible to get the '68 Coronet wagon with a Slant Six, most came from the factory with the good ol' 318 V8.

Yeah, once a car gets a full roll cage and fixed racing seat it becomes slightly less comfortable as a commuter car, but you'll get used to it. The Faster Farms Chickens' 1966 Belvedere takes one team member to work and back every day, five-point harness, no side glass, the works. His friends and family edge away from him in horror think he's a hero for his choice of vehicle, and now you could inspire the same pity respect! We've found a couple of retired 24 Hours Of LeMons machines that fit the bill nicely.

You want your new car to be well-maintained, so what could be better than a veteran of the Battle Of The Somme, aka the mud-soaked 24-hour party that was The Lamest Day 24 Hours Of LeMons? It was just like Woodstock, only with more mud, more particle-board campfires, and way more busted engines. The Police Brutality '61 Fleetwood accomplished its mission of beating up breast cancer for charity, and now Police Brutality is ready to move on to even more terrible better race cars. For 500 bucks, you get this running, driving, fully caged 1961 Cadillac Fleetwood, winner of the Organizer's Choice trophy, and they'll even throw in a set of slightly used Fuzion HRi tires. Imagine the envy you'll inspire as you cruise the boulevard in this fine luxury race car!

You'd enjoy life to its fullest, driving that Fleetwood around town, but what if you've got a family? You could install more race seats (hey, kids are agile enough to climb in over the roll cage), but what about all the gear that you've got to haul when you've reproduced? You need a station wagon, and we can't imagine even the most uptight homeowners' association objecting to a safe-n-sensible Volvo 245. Such as, for example, the FAST-ish and the FURRiest Volvo wagon, which finished an impressive 18th at the Lamest Day and can be purchased for a mere 500 bucks. It comes with tasteful leopardskin-and-teeth decor and a nuclear-family-style rollcage, but you'll need to supply your own seats and wheels. Remember, this car blew away dozens of BMWs, Porsches, and Acuras at Nelson Ledges, so you'll feel proud to haul the family in the baddest-ass hot rod in your subdivision!

Of course, we all know now that you pretty much need AWD to negotiate your typical shopping mall parking lot, so maybe Chrysler made a mistake by killing off the Eagle soon after gobbling up AMC in 1987. Could Chrysler have beat Subaru at its own game, had they only kept developing the Eagle?

I stopped by a couple of my local self-service wrecking yards yesterday, just to see what new and interesting clunkerization victims I might find. Not long ago, we saw a glut of clunkicided Japanese luxury machines, and now it's Mercedes-Benz's turn. This is just a small sampling of the dozens of big Benzes with the telltale pink paint on the engines. You want really nice body and interior parts for your spared-from-clunkdown Mercedes? Come on down!

Just for fun, let's price a few more of the cars we see here (2009 dollars in parentheses).
1990 560SEL: $73,800 ($121,871)
1988 260E: $37,250 ($64,837)
1988 300TE: $46,980 ($85,713)

We're a little disappointed that GM didn't recycle the "Mini-Brute" name for later vehicles. What if the Vega Kammback had been the Vega Mini-Brute instead?

There's a good cross-section of Kenosha advertising style here, from the 60s muscle cars and penny-pinching economy sedans to the Malaise Era favorites and into the Members Only 80s. When you're done here, you might enjoy our favorite VW ads, then continue your car-advertising overdose with the Datsun, Toyota, Renault, General Motors, British Leyland, Ford/Lincoln/Mercury, Honda, Citroën, and Chevrolet ads.

1979 Jeep Cherokee	1983 Jeep CJ-7	1987 Jeep Comanche
1976 Jeep CJ-5 Levis	1975 AMC Pacer	1969 AMC Rambler Rebel
1967 AMC Rebel	1967 AMC Ambassador Wagon	1981 AMC Eagle
1969 AMC Javelin	1969 AMC Ambassador	1969 AMC AMX
1973 AMC Gremlin	1979 AMC Spirit

Sadly, all we can do is read the press release below and think about what we could have if only we moved to Europe. Cry along with us while we read the press release below.

Press Release:

This all started when I got an email from the captain of the Dai Hard 24 Hours Of LeMons team, who will be bringing the first-ever LeMons Daihatsu Charade to Thunderhill in a couple of months. He'd just bought a '69 Morris Minor woody wagon and had it shipped over here, and he lives a few blocks from me. Did I want to come check it out?
It's not really supposed to be on the street quite yet, what with the utter lack of California-legal paperwork, but what the hell- we put it on the street for this photo session. He's already into the Kafkaesque ordeal of the California DMV Experience, but feels confident that it should be fully legit in the near future. The car is very solid, with hardly any rust (though some of the rotted woodwork will need replacing). And hey, check out the Lucas battery!

Somehow, this big Chrysler made it through a pair of Energy Crises, the Malaise Era, and the Rise Of The SUV- 41 years of survival before being brought down by the Financiapocalypse. Or maybe it had been sitting in a back yard since 1974 prior to being hauled off to The Crusher's waiting room. Either way, plenty of good parts left on this wagon, so let's hope they get pulled prior to being melted down to make brand-new Cherys.

This car is owned by the same guy who daily-drives this '77 Olds Custom Cruiser wagon. The Olds is for hauling the family around, and the Chevy is for hoonage! It's got a wicked-sounding 383 stroker, crazy gears, and a nice paint job is the next step. Personally, I think primer looks better, but to each his own!

Well, maybe not quite as numerous as Ford's station wagon replacement is today, but the full-size Ford wagon ruled the family-hauler world during the 1960s and 1970s. While my family had a Chevy van instead of a station wagon, any kid growing up in the 70s was going to spend at least some time in a Country Squire.

This may be the lower-end Country Sedan or Ranch Wagon, but it appears that it has the mounting holes for the high-zoot Squire side trim, and budget-minded Ford wagon shoppers would have been unlikely to spring for the big-block 352 engine instead of the standard 240-cube six or 289 V8. The 9-passenger '66 Country Squire listed at $3,372, nearly 600 bucks more than the six-cylinder Ranch Wagon and 900 bucks more than the little '66 Falcon wagon. Nine passengers and (I'm guessing) 12 highway MPG- that holds up pretty well next to, say, a new Expedition (which only seats eight, albeit in greater luxury).

The real question here is: do you prefer this '66 or the '65 Country Squire Woody?

Given that Alameda is separated only by a 100-yard estuary from Oakland, Donk Capitol Of The Universe, you'd think that great big wheels would be a common sight on the island. Not so, partly because Alameda's car freaks are more likely to be into old-school musclecars and/or dorifto-type Japanese stuff… and partly because the APD is well known for its heavy hand with the ol' fixit-ticket pad.

I suspect that this Nova wagon- which features plenty of paint over body rust- is sort of an ironic donk, if such a thing is possible. It lives on the same block as the mean-looking '73 Electra, and I suspect the two cars share an owner with a sense a humor.

What do you think? Pretty funny or head-clutching abomination?

Click on the sequential picture-story thingies below to get the whole story of downward spiral and redemption for this Wolfsburg classic.

This car, equipped with a rare automatic transmission, lived in my neighborhood for a couple years. Clearly a work in progress, I never saw it leave its parking spot. Sadly, parking vigilantes on the block- a real problem in garage-short Alameda, where parking can be a challenge- grew enraged, and eventually the Squareback was red-tagged (which means the owner has 72 hours to move the offending vehicle) and towed away.

The first I heard about this tragedy was via an email from a tipster who lives near the towing company tasked with extracting such cars from city streets in Alameda and Oakland. He sent a photo of the cool old Volks imprisoned behind a chainlink fence, and I recognized it immediately.

Auctions are held weekly, and any car that doesn't get the minimum bid ($100 to $200) heads straight to the junkyard down the street. You know, the yard where totally restorable old cars go to be stripped, then fed to The Crusher. I decided to stop by, and if nobody was willing to pay 100 bucks to rescue the Squareback… well, I'd buy it, even though I don't have a place to park it at my house.

The auction takes place in an industrial area of East Oakland, and between the elderly, soft-spoken auctioneer and the screaming BART trains going by, it was pretty tough to follow the bidding. There were some steals to be had. How about a running, late-model Toyota Tacoma for $1,800? Or a somewhat battered but still serviceable Infiniti Q45 for $275?

This gentleman, who once owned a VW shop, was there just for the Squareback. That meant that I wasn't going to have to buy it, and I breathed a sigh of relief about that. The final and only bid? One hundred dollars! That's right, he bought a solid, rust-free Squareback with Panasport-esque wheels for a single C-note.

And that wasn't the end of the cool machinery. Here's a late-80s Ford EXP, which was to the Escort what the CRX was to the Civic. Runs fine, registration is current, ugly paint but otherwise intact. Final bid? 200 bucks.

Imagine what a great 24 Hours Of LeMons car an EXP would make! Escorts do very well in LeMons, so a two-seater lightweight version should be a real contender.

Citroën Mehari-driving Project Car Hell Poster Child Franzouse stumbled across this fine 1968 motion picture and was kind enough to send in a tip. After seeing the sad Olds Vista Cruiser earlier, I thought it would be nice for us to see a GM Skywagon while it's still young and healthy. Here's what Franzouse has to say:

Just came back from a business day-trip to Brussels (hooray for Thalys): they make the best French fries there, amazing. Anyways, I'm watching a 30 year old French movie right now titled "l'Homme à la Buick" (the man with the buick). Pretty cool story, and ok film about a provincial dandy who is actually a smuggler and drives around in a big buick station wagon often being chased by cops in DS's and 404's.

It's pretty rough, and plenty of parts have been picked from it by now, but the all-important roof glass remains. There's an example of today's Engine Of The Day honoree under the hood, too- looks like a 2-barrel 350. Nice Bondo-y patina on the tailgate!

We've seen a '64 Bel Air wagon, a '60 Bel Air sedan, and a '63 Bel Air Sedan so far in this series, and here's another early-60s Bel Air to check off the Alameda list. The Bel Air was the midpriced trim package during this era, fitting between the El Cheapo Biscayne and the Top Shelf Impala. The '61 Biscayne wagon had the same taillights as the Bel Air, but the holes where side trim once lived help identify this wagon as the latter type.

This car parks nose-to-tail with the '73 Maverick sedan we saw a while back, and right around the corner from the perennially-for-sale '60 Studebaker Lark. This is also the same spot where we saw the slammed '66 VW Transporter, which disappeared about the same time the Maverick appeared. My guess is that we have a serious fan of mean-looking vintage iron here.

The Maserati-powered Model T definitely made an impression at the last Billetproof Nor-Cal, which is totally understandable. After all, the [flawless Model A, B, or T] + [Chevy or Ford OHV V8] formula has been done so often and so well that you need a body machined from pure plutonium to really stand out these days, while the [rusty-ass ancient non-Ford] + [weird yet hypnotically cool engine] formula still offers plenty of fun for each pint of blood you spill in the Hell Garage. Tonight, we're going to look at a total of nine possible vehicle+engine combos, any one of which would draw vast crowds of Bettie Page lookalikes at the next Billetproof. Hear the rusty iron doors of the Hell Garage swinging open for you? Once closed, they'll be welded shut until you're done... or insane!

Every time I see the amazing DOTS '47 Plymouth rumbling through my neighborhood, I realize anew that old suicide-door Plymouth sedans let you roll in the purest Hell Garage style. Affordable examples are quite easy to find in diamond-in-the-rough condition, too. Say f'r'example, this 1937 Plymouth sedan, which has a no-doubt-negotiable $1,000 price tag. The patina is already perfect, and the "toast" interior should be viewed as an opportunity to commission a special burlap-and-studded-pleather extravaganza!

It's tough to argue with the appeal of a 62-year-old sedan, but an elderly pickup made by a farm equipment manufacturer might make you forget all about that Plymouth. This '38 IHC pickup, which has been sitting in an Iowa field since Syngman Rhee was in office, has the perfect paint finish for Billetproof stardom, though we're not sure that "no bullet holes" is really a selling point. No matter, though- you can always make your own bullet holes!

Sedans? Trucks? Don't forget station wagons! Sure, you'd like a two-door wagon, and a Ford Ranch Wagon would be an excellent choice... but even that might veer uncomfortably close to the overchromed aesthetic behind those hyper-sanitary Chevy Nomads we see at mainstream car shows. Don't worry, because LeMons Rabbit racer Casadelshawn has tipped us off about this Opel Olympia Caravan, which is priced right in LeMons territory... which isn't relevant, because you know that mini-Euro-Nomad will be just the car to receive the engine of your deepest fears dreams! And, speaking of engines...

Now that you've picked out your chassis, what would you say to a 317-horse, DOHC/4-valve aluminum V8 that should be making good power until the Sun goes supernova? You can get this Nissan VK56DE out of a Nissan Titan pickup for well under two grand, though you'll need to spend many a few more bucks setting it up with an octet of Weber carbs and some sort of transmission.

A Nissan 5.6 liter V8 would be fun, but imagine all the wild Teutonic Maltese-cross decor you could put on your Opel, Plymouth, or IHC if you were to drop a Mercedes-Benz 5.6 liter V8 into the engine compartment? An M117, freshly torn from the still-twitching corpse of a big ol' Cocaine Dealer Grade 560SEL, would be just the ticket, and here's a 69,000-mile specimen for a mere 710 bucks! You'll need to ditch that irritatingly modern fuel-injection system and replace it with some carburetors, of course, and we recommend a homemade pipe-organ-style intake manifold made from galvanized plumbing fittings and sucking fuel from as many updraft Cessna carburetors as you can obtain. Then you'll start your junkyard quest for a functional junkyard transmission. How hard could it be?

Is there some rule that states you've got to have a V8? No? Well, how about one of GM's coolest engines ever, a high-performance inline six that struggled to get attention while in the shadow of big-inch monster V8s during the Muscle Car Golden Age? Yes, we mean the Pontiac OHC six-cylinder, which was a Chevrolet 230 or 250 six equipped with a futuristic (for 1960s Detroit) belt-driven overhead-cam cylinder head. The high-performance Sprint version, installed in regrettably few Firebirds and Tempests, could hold its own against V8s with vastly more displacement... but real Sprints are hard to find. No problem, though, because you can build your own Sprint from this Pontiac OHC 250, which is sitting with a top bid of just 150 bucks.

Ready to decide? Let's vote!

The Gawker Server Hamsters have decreed that new galleries shall no longer function, so we're going back, back in time, back to a day when you had to wait for a bunch of full-sized images to load. Apologies to those of you with slow internet connections, but we must do as the Hamsters decree!

This is a type of vehicle that was once as common as the minivan is today: the midsize station wagon. The Concours was one of the lower-level trim levels for the ubiquitous-in-its-day Chevelle station wagon.

This one has the 350-cubic-inch small-block Chevrolet engine, the favored engine of Camaro hoons the world over. Of course, this wagon may well be on its 7th small-block by now, but odds are it still has the original 350.

Looks like a rust-free car with a straight body, and the original 2T-C is still reasonably complete.

It appears that Malaise Era Corolla coupes mostly avoid the fate of this car nowadays, but I suspect it will be a few more years before Japanese wagons start to get much attention from restorers and/or racers.

Not sold in the United States since 1955, the Aero is still much beloved in Brazil to this day. When you buy the plaster prototype model created by Willys during their research into a wagon version and you tell the seller to have it professionally packaged and shipped, you figure everything is OK. Right? Not so in this case, in which a UPS store apparently taped several boxes together, added bubble-wrap and peanuts, and fed the whole mess into the maw of the UPS Box Torture Track. The buyer insured it only for the purchase price, a move that has a certain failure-ness to it (with enough money, artists could be commissioned to restore the thing), and now he's very, very sad.
[Consumerist, thanks to Novaload for the tip]