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Detroit, 1:55 PM
Tue Dec 8
26 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #stasisaudi more →

    STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Timtoolman, sporadically speaking Timtoolman, sporadically speaking
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    "If, like me, you wield more enthusiasm than finesse behind the wheel..."


    Gotta hand it to you; for a minute, I thought you were including yourself in the "great driver" catagory. The rest of us would have then had to GUESS how we might fare in one of these. Kudos.

     Reply
    Timtoolman, sporadically speaking was starred Timtoolman, sporadically speaking was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    12/08/08

    @timtoolman: I hardly ever hit stuff while I'm driving, so I'm pretty good at that part. As for going fast around a track... well, let's just say there's plenty of room for improvement.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    That Cyclone totally rocks. Any idea what it was packing under that wicked hood?
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    12/08/08

    @NovaloadMissesPolar: Two-barrel Malaise 302?
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of theeastbaykid theeastbaykid
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    niCe cAr.
     Reply
    theeastbaykid was starred theeastbaykid was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    Unfortunately, Murilee, I'm not sure your Alameda Home Owners Association will allow such a car as the S5 to be parked in public.


    You'd have to go for something more in-line with the aesthetics of the neighborhood. Maybe an old Quattro.

     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    I love that Jalopnik can cover both super-low-end Backyard Lambos and Craigslist finds alongside a kit that adds $14k to the price of an S5.


    Murilee's "I've really got no business driving this car, but I'll tell you what I think anyway" perspective is a refreshing step back from most performance writeups where we pretend to care/understand the subtleties of weight transfer and side bolstering on 500hp cars.

     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/08/08

    @Mad_Science: This is why I stand by my opinion of Murilee as the preeminent auto journalist of our times.


    Sorry Ben, Matt. Murilee uber alles.

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Graverobber Graverobber
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    You've changed Murilee- I don't even recognize you in that rich-man's play toy.

    I hope at least you farted in it.
     Reply
    Graverobber was starred Graverobber was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/08/08

    @graverobber- My Yugo Nova!: Just to prove that I have also not matured beyond fart-jokes, I had a full-out, can't-breathe belly-laugh at that.
     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of LTDScott LTDScott
    12/08/08

    @Deartháir and his eight little drained beers: Seriously.
     Reply
    LTDScott was starred LTDScott was unstarred
    Image of BLS BLS
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    I have a question for Murilee:


    If you bought this car new, would you do any track days and if not, why sacrifice the everyday comfort of the regular S5 if you wouldn't reap any of the benefits of the improved suspension and brakes?

     Reply
    BLS was starred BLS was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    12/08/08

    @BLS: Hell yes, I'd take it to the track.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    "...STaSIS offers the Challenge Edition through Audi dealers for $13,995..." Um, the whole car costs $14k? Damn, get me 2!
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of Bret Bret
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    Murilee mincing tuner cars; need video. Kudos on the photography and on making a valid comparison between a Chevelle and an Audi.


    As nice as the Audi is, I think I'd rather have this:

     Reply
    Bret was starred Bret was unstarred
    Image of elwood elwood
    12/08/08

    @Bret: The Audi is better at absolutely every measurable performance characteristic, but whatever floats your boat.
     Reply
    elwood was starred elwood was unstarred
    Image of Bret Bret
    12/08/08

    @elwood: Indeed, Ayrton Senna, Don Garlits, and Richard Petty could be morphed into one human and set behind the wheel of the Chevelle and I'd smoke him in the Audi.


    However, the S5 just doesn't do it for me. It's lacking a presence that does justice to its performance.


    The Chevelle, on the other hand, oozes awesomeness from every molecule.

     Reply
    Bret was starred Bret was unstarred
    Image of racerx racerx
    12/08/08

    @elwood: True but being that there were only something like 100 Yenko Chevelles made the Chevy is worth manifold more than the Audi.
     Reply
    racerx was starred racerx was unstarred
    Image of elwood elwood
    12/08/08

    @racerx: Yeah, but are you buying the car because of how much you want to drive it, or because of how much it's worth?


    And frankly, I'm not buying either, so this is an entirely academic discussion for me.

     Reply
    elwood was starred elwood was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    12/08/08

    @elwood: Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any more awesome.
     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
    Image of Starlton Heston's Revenge Starlton Heston's Revenge
    12/08/08

    @elwood: I think the Yenko Chevelle should automatically be considered in the "how much you want to drive it" category...


    Everything about it is "lost era" type qualities: Dealer batshit crazy upgrades and special editions blessed by the OEM, the graphics, the "(everything about the Chevelle)"

     Reply
    Starlton Heston's Revenge was starred Starlton Heston's Revenge was unstarred
    Image of BMRFILE BMRFILE
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    The A5 and the S5...Possibly this year's hottest looking cars. I'm very jeloused that you got to drive this beast.
     Reply
    BMRFILE was starred BMRFILE was unstarred
    Image of weatherman weatherman
    12/08/08

    @BMRFILE: I'm just waiting for someone to make a body kit for a Solara to give it that A5 look. Oh wait, it doesn't need one.
     Reply
    weatherman was starred weatherman was unstarred
    Image of jduffy13 jduffy13
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    Brain buckets are for wimps!


    I want to see a guy driving with a porn 'stache and an open can of Colt '45.

     Reply
    jduffy13 was starred jduffy13 was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/08/08

    @jduffy13: No, that would be Mr. Loverman, not Ms. Martin.
     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    12/08/08

    @jduffy13: I've been to [Southern dragstrip that shall remain nameless] and observed pornstached guys doing 12-second runs with open beers in hand. Automatic cars only, of course.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of goatrope goatrope
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    From Dictionary.com:


    Stasis - (Pathology) Stoppage of the normal flow of a body substance, as of blood through an artery or of intestinal contents through the bowels.


    So is this beast going to leave me with a wicked case of constipation?

     Reply
    goatrope was starred goatrope was unstarred
    Image of DoctorNine DoctorNine
    12/08/08

    @goatrope: I dunno about your bowels. For me, it really gives the M3 a run for its money. This thing is so cool, your blood freezes as you grip the wheel.
     Reply
    DoctorNine was starred DoctorNine was unstarred
    Image of AmishJohn AmishJohn
    12/08/08

    @goatrope: The idea is that it causes such a buttpucker going into turns that your colon goes into stasis.
     Reply
    AmishJohn was starred AmishJohn was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/08/08

    @DoctorNine of Se7en: CAR magazine believes the RS5 may actually be the closest thing to an M3-killer we've ever seen.
     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/08/08

    @goatrope: "The state of equilibrium or inactivity caused by opposing equal forces."
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    Ms. Martin, you look damn sexy in a helmet.


    Also, may I reiterate that you are my personal idol-for-the-day. Largely because you're given the opportunity to hoon a tweaked Audi S5, and you drool over the old Cyclone race car out on the track. You, sir, rule. Can I have your job when I grow up?

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Sloop_John_B Sloop_John_B
    12/08/08

    @Deartháir and his eight little drained beers: I like how he dressed for the occaision. Like the plaid, the standard A5 is relatively benign. However, beneath that exteriorlurks something much more menacing and badass, the S5!
     Reply
    Sloop_John_B was starred Sloop_John_B was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/08/08

    @Sloop_John_B: However, beneath that exteriorlurks something much more menacing and badass...


    I thought you meant Murilee there...

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    12/08/08

    @Deartháir and his eight little drained beers: Yes, but bonus points for the red clothes matching the red car.
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of c0de c0de
    12/08/08

    In reply to STaSIS Signature Series Audi S5 Challenge Edition: First Drive
    too bad is's a chav mobile
     Reply
    c0de was starred c0de was unstarred
    Image of MarywithanM™ MarywithanM™
    12/08/08

    @c0de: If Murilee is considering one, it is most definitely *not* a "chav mobile
     Reply
    MarywithanM™ was starred MarywithanM™ was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    12/08/08

    @MarywithanM: Agreed. Murilee > any stereotype.
     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of Mad_Science Mad_Science
    12/08/08

    @c0de: Luckily, we don't have chavs in the US.


    The closest thing would be white trash or "wiggers". They usually drive hotted-up Probes or 2.7L 300Cs with purple window tint and 22" rims from Rent-a-Rim.

     Reply
    Mad_Science was starred Mad_Science was unstarred
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