So I had just taken my first job driving Big Trucks all over the U.S.(25+ years ago!) and was outside of Dalhart,TX heading north towards Chicago when I saw my first funnel-cloud. It was about three miles away, just to the right-side of the two-laner I was on trying to get around the weigh-scales at Liberal,KS. I had never been east of Albuquerque,NM in my life, and everything I knew about tornado's came from the movie, "The Wizard Of Oz". I could see for miles in any direction, and as the funnel-cloud got closer to the ground and bigger, I grabbed the mic of the CB radio and said, with little hope of a reply because there were no other Trucks around and only scattered farmhouses as far as the eye could see:
"Hey,... If there's anyone out there,..I'm from Arizona,... and I have no clue about what to do when a tornado comes down right in front of you..."
The previously silent radio instantly erupted into life, with hugely conflicting advice, obviously from people watching the same funnel-cloud I was, get closer and closer to the ground.
"Get Out Of The Truck!!!!".
"No, No, No, Stay In It!!!".
"Find an Overpass, Quick!!". (Never mind that we can all see twenty miles in any direction, and they're ain't any overpasses, quick or not.
"Try To Outrun It!!!!"
"No, No, No, There's No Way,...Turn Around!!!!". (These two probably saw me, but Mr. Turn-Around must have known that the ground was so soft from all the rain that I would be instantly stuck the minute I left the roadway, but maybe not).
I gunned it, out of fear mostly, and as I came up abreast of it, right as it touched down for only a second or two, it was clear it was headed away from me.
Many years later I worked with a kid whose Dad and Uncle ran a Trucking Company in Iowa, hauling corn seed, and when he headed home for Christmas one year, I asked him to ask them what to do when a tornado comes down right in front of you. When he got back, he said he had totally forgotten until Christmas Dinner, and when he asked them he said the reaction from everyone else was
priceless. People blew milk out their noses, choked on food, and attempted to stifle laughter, unsuccessfully. Evidently when they were kids, they were hauling a load of seed right by a hog-farm when a tornado touched down right in front of them. Dad chose to stay in the driver's seat, while Uncle elected to take his chances in the culvert under the road. Well, tornado's are usually accompanied by huge amounts of rain, and unfortunately for Uncle, the culvert he chose happened to be downstream of the hog-farm. The tornado crossed the road just in front of the Truck, and while Dad was plenty scared, the plight of his brother being washed out of the culvert in a torrent of pig-shit causes great amusement to almost everyone in the family, even though no one talks about it.
Okay, is it Storm Vehicle Research (SRV), Storm Vehicle Research (SVR), Storm Research Vehicle (SRV), Storm Research Vehicle (SVR).....or did you just spell (NAMBLA) wrong?
The chain in those handcuffs is high-tensile steel. It'd take you ten minutes to hack through it with this. Now, if you're lucky, you can hack through your ankle in five minutes. Go!
@skaycog: Well of course they are... That should be expected. So technically, you knew this already and manipulated my surficial thoughts! Shame on YOOOOOOOOUUUU!
@Scandinavian Flick: I never heard the word 'surficial' before now; so how could I manipulate yours? SHAME ON YOU for thinking I'd do something that I don't know how to do (?)
@Ambiguously Unfunny Serial Killer: Ha! Ha! That's funny. Well, at least you know where I got the word "surficial". AND...I got the last word in with Mr. Flick. Time to crack open a box of wine. Good night, ya'll.
@Steve Neill: Yeah, I always picked up my first dates with a conversion van, and remarked that it was so cool because the seat in the back turns into a bed.
09/05/09
09/03/09
09/04/09
09/04/09
09/05/09
09/05/09
For anybody checking this thread other than skaycog or .357, as previously mentioned, the epic thread is below. Here's a link if you need:
[jalopnik.com]
06/12/09
"Hey,... If there's anyone out there,..I'm from Arizona,... and I have no clue about what to do when a tornado comes down right in front of you..."
The previously silent radio instantly erupted into life, with hugely conflicting advice, obviously from people watching the same funnel-cloud I was, get closer and closer to the ground.
"Get Out Of The Truck!!!!".
"No, No, No, Stay In It!!!".
"Find an Overpass, Quick!!". (Never mind that we can all see twenty miles in any direction, and they're ain't any overpasses, quick or not.
"Try To Outrun It!!!!"
"No, No, No, There's No Way,...Turn Around!!!!". (These two probably saw me, but Mr. Turn-Around must have known that the ground was so soft from all the rain that I would be instantly stuck the minute I left the roadway, but maybe not).
I gunned it, out of fear mostly, and as I came up abreast of it, right as it touched down for only a second or two, it was clear it was headed away from me.
Many years later I worked with a kid whose Dad and Uncle ran a Trucking Company in Iowa, hauling corn seed, and when he headed home for Christmas one year, I asked him to ask them what to do when a tornado comes down right in front of you. When he got back, he said he had totally forgotten until Christmas Dinner, and when he asked them he said the reaction from everyone else was
priceless. People blew milk out their noses, choked on food, and attempted to stifle laughter, unsuccessfully. Evidently when they were kids, they were hauling a load of seed right by a hog-farm when a tornado touched down right in front of them. Dad chose to stay in the driver's seat, while Uncle elected to take his chances in the culvert under the road. Well, tornado's are usually accompanied by huge amounts of rain, and unfortunately for Uncle, the culvert he chose happened to be downstream of the hog-farm. The tornado crossed the road just in front of the Truck, and while Dad was plenty scared, the plight of his brother being washed out of the culvert in a torrent of pig-shit causes great amusement to almost everyone in the family, even though no one talks about it.
06/12/09
06/12/09
06/11/09
I've felt more wind from the blowhards that shoot their mouths off at Jalopnik.
I probably shouldn't talk about the staff like that.
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
Hey man, this is not what it looks like. All I wanted was his boots. The guy's already snuffed.
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
:-P!!
06/12/09
06/12/09
06/12/09
06/12/09
cer-e-brate [ser-uh-breyt] -verb; to use the mind; think or think about.
Related forms:
cer-e-bra-tion, noun
cer-e-bra-tion-al, adjective
Shame on you for putting words in my mouth.
06/11/09
06/11/09
That would be the PERFECT vehicle to scare the shit out of your mother in law with.
"Can we pick you up at 8?"
"Mmm... 7:30 >_>"
*you drive up to her house*
"OH MY GOD FOR THE LOVE OF LANTA THATS NOT A FAMILY CAR!"
"It's okay Ma... you get the bubble on the roof."
06/11/09
Okay fine, I'm lying. I never did that.
06/11/09
Whatever.
06/11/09
06/11/09
06/11/09
12/31/08
[karakullake.blogspot.com]
12/30/08